"I'm back~"
"Looks like you two were getting along quite well~~"
Haruka Hasebe returned, drinks in hand.
"Thank you, Haruka."
Airi Sakura accepted her strawberry milk tea, her cheeks redder than the berries on the cup.
"How many points do I owe you?"
Hachiman reflexively reached for his phone.
"Friends don't need to keep tabs on that sort of thing."
"Besides, you're sacrificing your own time to tutor us — how could I possibly charge you for that?"
…Wait, friends? Since when?
Hold on, is making friends supposed to be that easy?
As if she could read the flicker of disbelief on his face, Haruka sighed dramatically.
"Don't look at me like that. It's not like I call just anyone a friend, you know. Airi and you, Hachiman, are the first girl and guy I've actually befriended since coming to this school."
"Mm-hmm! Me too…" Airi nodded earnestly.
"…"
Hachiman averted his gaze.
"Come to think of it," Haruka leaned forward with a teasing grin, "even though you don't really talk to anyone in your own class, you seem to have a lot of female acquaintances from other classes, huh?"
Her eyes sharpened playfully as she turned to Airi.
"You'd better step up your game, Airi, before some other class's sneaky cat steals Hachiman away."
"H-Haruka, what are you saying~!"
Flustered, Airi lightly thumped Haruka's chest with her fists.
"Ahaha~ You're blushing. So cute, Airi~"
Haruka giggled, wrapping Airi in a warm hug and rubbing her cheek against her friend's.
The collision of peaks… shook the very earth.
For any ordinary club member, this would've been a total mental wipeout.
Calm down.
Calm down, damn it!
Don't panic!
It's just an illusion!
Hachiman took a deep breath, desperately trying to focus, mentally reciting poetry like a prayer.
"From the side it's a ridge, from the front a peak;
its shape differs viewed far or near…"
Wait—wrong poem!!
Hachiman clamped his eyes shut.
But instead of clearing his head, another image invaded his mind — that of the Queen of the Women's Kingdom from Journey to the West, staring longingly at a Monk.
"My dear monk, you claim all is emptiness, yet keep your eyes shut.
If you dare open them and look upon me, I doubt you'd still believe in emptiness.
You don't dare look at me…
So tell me, what's truly empty now?"
Hachiman, do you really not like me?
Yamete!! (Stop it)
My sanity's about to evaporate!!
Snapping his eyes open, Hachiman grabbed his black coffee and downed it in one go — no sugar, no milk.
Somehow, despite the bitterness, he swore he could still taste something sweet.
Women… are terrifying creatures.
Haruka stuck her tongue out playfully, giggling at the sight of Hachiman's tormented expression.
"Hehe~ Maybe I went a little too far teasing you?"
"Class starts now!"
"Right now! Immediately!!"
Emotionless Teacher Hachiman had entered the battlefield.
He unleashed a relentless torrent of information, hammering the lessons into the two girls' brains.
"N-no more… I can't take it, Hachiman…"
"My brain… it's gonna explode!"
Haruka collapsed onto the desk, utterly drained.
"Whyyy do Japanese people have to study classical literature…"
Airi swayed weakly, her glasses slipping off looking completely done for.
"That's enough for today."
Satisfied with the sight of the thoroughly defeated duo, Hachiman closed his textbook with a soft thud.
Around them, the D-Class boys looked on in dismay.
Seriously?
You brought two girls here, and you actually STUDIED?
"Man, that guy's hopeless."
"Doesn't even know how to treat a pretty girl gently."
"Can't believe he ran poor Hasebe into the ground like that!"
Ike practically slammed his palm on the desk, burning with righteous indignation, ready to rush in and play hero.
"Wait—don't you think Sakura looks kinda… different without her glasses?"
Yamauchi's eyes gleamed.
Sensing those lusty gazes from across the room, Hachiman frowned and reached out, gently straightening Airi's crooked glasses.
"Eh?!"
"T-thank you… Hachiman."
Airi's cheeks flared crimson again.
"Damn that greedy bastard!"
The D-Class boys collectively howled in anguish.
An hour later, Haruka and Airi, still recovering from their "lesson," left arm in arm.
Kikyo Kushida, claiming she had plans with an upperclassman, also excused herself.
Naturally, once "Angel Kushida" left, her flock of male followers instantly lost all motivation to study and began filing out one by one.
Soon, only a few girls remained — though it was clear they were staying more for Hirata Yosuke's presence than for actual academics.
"Hachiman, I'll be going over math next. Want to join in?" Hirata offered with his usual bright smile.
"I'll take you up on that."
Hachiman didn't hesitate — if he was tutoring others, he had every right to be tutored in return.
Another hour later…
Thud.
Hachiman's head dropped onto the table, his soul seemingly leaving his body.
Turns out, a person can accomplish anything when pushed to the limit…
Except math.
Math is eternal suffering.
Even with a blade at your throat, you still wouldn't solve the damn problem!
"Heh~ What an idiot," Shinohara Satsuki snickered.
"Can't even do middle-school geometry."
"…"
Hachiman didn't argue. She wasn't wrong.
"Well, everyone has subjects they're bad at~" Matsushita Chiaki said quickly, trying to defuse the tension.
But Shinohara wasn't done. "At your level, you're just wasting Hirata's time."
"Ugh, I'm done studying. Let's go to karaoke!"
Kei Karuizawa stood up, dragging a few girls along.
As she turned to leave, she shot Hachiman a subtle glance.
…Was she… diverting attention from him?
Their eyes met briefly. Kei immediately looked away and hurried out.
"I'm sorry about that, Hachiman," Hirata said apologetically. "Shinohara didn't mean anything by it."
"It's fine," Hachiman replied with a shrug. "That level of mockery barely even registers."
"Still, if you'd like, I can tutor you one-on-one later. Math's all about fundamentals, and it seems like you're struggling with the basics. Trying to learn the high school material without that groundwork must be tough."
He wasn't wrong. Group tutoring never worked well for math.
But Hachiman simply shook his head. "I'll pass."
He didn't like owing people favors.
"You're in the soccer club, right? You'll be late for practice if you don't go now. Besides, I've got to head to the martial arts club myself."
As for the math issue… he'd find another way to handle it.
***
Reminds me that i bombed my SAT test…now i work in construction 😅
(Wasnt totally my fault, Covid pandemic, online classes, transferring schools, didnt help 💀)