Hidan stood in the Hokage's office with a blank expression, staring at the old man across from him.
He had thought things were settled, that his plan to slip into Konoha's Anbu was as good as sealed.
But then Sarutobi Hiruzen, pipe-smoking and smiling like some kindly grandpa, dropped the bomb:
"I'll have to test your strength myself. If you can survive against me, then you may be qualified to join the Anbu."
"…Seriously?" Hidan muttered, his face deadpan.
It wasn't that he didn't understand. Hiruzen clearly meant well, he was concerned for his safety.
But still… being tested by the Hokage himself? That was a whole different level of trouble.
Hidan's abilities weren't exactly the "show off in public" type. His true strength lay in blood rituals, curses, and the twisted gift of immortality the cult had branded onto him.
He wasn't exactly a ninjutsu prodigy or taijutsu master. Put simply, he couldn't match Hiruzen in a fair fight. Not now atleast.
"Can we… not do the test?" Hidan tried weakly, grasping at straws.
"Of course," Hiruzen said, dragging his words long enough to give Hidan a spark of hope. Then he added with a sly smile: "…not."
Hidan's last shred of optimism collapsed. He sighed heavily. "Figures…"
"What's wrong?" Hiruzen chuckled, puffing his pipe. "A moment ago you were all bravado about joining the Anbu, and now you're already backing down?"
"…Fine. Test is test!" Hidan gritted his teeth.
The old man laughed, clearly amused at the boy's sluggish, almost pouty demeanor. For reasons he couldn't explain, seeing Hidan sulk put him in an oddly good mood.
An hour later, the two stood in the Forest of Death, an empty training ground shrouded by thick trees and silence.
Hidan carried his massive Bloody March Scythe on his shoulder, his eyes fixed on the figure in front of him: Sarutobi Hiruzen, clad in combat gear, pipe finally put away.
This was no longer the kind old man behind a desk. This was the Hokage at nearly the height of his power..."The Professor of Ninjutsu," the shinobi said to have mastered nearly every technique known to Konoha.
Hidan swallowed. Great. Just great. I'm about to spar against the damn Ninjutsu Professor. Why not just fight Pain while I'm at it?
Hiruzen smiled gently. "Ready? I'll be striking first."
"Bring it on!" Hidan shouted, charging with forced bravado. He swung his scythe in a wide arc, crimson glint trailing behind its blade.
But the Hokage's speed was absurd. Even though Hidan attacked first, his weapon cut only air. Not even a strand of the old man's hair was touched.
"Careful now. Shuriken Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
Hiruzen flicked a single shuriken forward. In midair, it split and multiplied into dozens, then hundreds, filling the sky in a storm of steel.
"Oh, come on...he opens with an A-rank map cannon?!" Hidan yelled, spinning his scythe at high speed.
Metal clanged against metal, sparks flying as he batted away wave after wave of projectiles.
For a moment, he almost thought he was holding his ground until he felt killing intent surge behind him.
"Water Style: Water Dragon Bullet!"
"Earth Style: Earth Dragon Bullet!"
Hands burst from the ground, seizing his ankles. A massive water dragon roared down at him, jaws wide, crashing into his body like a flood.
"Gahhh—!"
The impact sent him tumbling, his scythe spinning away from his grip. He hit the mud hard, coughing dirt and water from his mouth.
"Pfft! Disgusting! Old man, you call this training?!" Hidan spat, scrambling to his feet.
"Are you trying to fucking kill me!!?"
Hiruzen only smiled playfully. "You'll need to do better if you want to survive in the Anbu."
Hidan's temper flared. He lunged again, eyes burning, but the Hokage was already weaving new signs.
"Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
In an instant, thirty Hiruzen clones surrounded Hidan in a perfect circle, each grinning with the same unnerving calm. Their hands blurred through seals in unison.
"Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"
"Water Style: Water Dragon Bullet!"
"Earth Style: Earth Dragon Bullet!"
A rain of ninjutsu exploded all around, the forest lit like fireworks, the air splitting with thunderous roars.
"Grk…" Hidan froze. His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his legs trembling. Okay. Okay. I take it back. No wonder this guy was Hokage.
The 'Ninjutsu Professor' title wasn't just for show. And this isn't even him using forbidden techniques!
He raised his arms in defeat, eyes squeezed shut. "I surrender! Stop the damn fireworks, I give up!"
The clones vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving only the real Hiruzen chuckling softly.
"If you're throwing in the towel already, then you can't join the Anbu. I said it clearly: safety is the most important thing."
"There's plenty of other work you can do for Konoha. Not every shinobi has to walk in the shadows."
Hidan's jaw dropped. "Wait, wait, wait—who said I'm quitting?! I'm still going into the Anbu!"
"You?" Hiruzen raised a brow, exhaling through his nose. "You couldn't even withstand a warm-up. You think you'll survive in that blood-soaked place?"
"I'll survive just fine," Hidan shot back stubbornly.
His thoughts darkened: If I don't join the Anbu, how the hell am I supposed to get close to the Uchiha massacre when it happens? How am I supposed to get my hands on the Sharingan?
The Hokage shook his head slowly. "Stubborn child… People like that don't live long."
"Then maybe it's time I show you what I can really do," Hidan said at last, sighing heavily for effect.
Hiruzen's eyes sharpened. So he does have something he's been hiding…
Hidan reached to his waist and pulled out a black spear. With a sharp flick, it extended to full length.
Then, without hesitation, he spun it in his grip and plunged it straight into his own chest.
"Pssshkkk—!"
The wet sound of steel piercing flesh echoed in the clearing. Hiruzen's eyes widened, his scalp prickling.
"…What in the world are you—"
"Ahhh! Damn, it hurts!" Hidan cried, teeth clenched, sweat pouring down his face. Even though he'd done this before, the searing pain was unbearable.
Hiruzen nearly lost his composure. He… stabbed himself? In the heart?! What kind of insane Kekkei Genkai is this?! How terrified of death does someone have to be to awaken something like this?
Watching Hidan writhe yet still alive, the Hokage felt his worldview twist. This boy's Kekkei Genkai wasn't just unusual...it was horrifying.
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