His faceplate closed again, and his electronic eyes flickered with white light.
"Time for an unboxing."
"Let me see how many digital cockroaches these sneaky S.H.I.E.L.D. guys have hidden in your house."
William's heart was calm, he even felt like laughing.
Cockroaches?
That's an accurate description.
He led Tony to the control room. A port, designed far beyond contemporary aesthetics, popped out from Iron Man's arm gauntlet—which looked capable of punching through a tank—and with a "click," it physically connected to the console.
"Jarvis,"
Tony commanded.
"Deploy the 'Spiderweb' cleanup protocol. Fully scan every network node, every line, and every sensor on this island."
"I want a complete report on all unauthorized external links and potential monitoring backdoors. Pull out every single hair Fury has hidden."
"Yes, sir."
A gentle and steady British accent sounded within the armor, and also clearly transmitted through the public channel to William, Tandy, and Tyrone.
Tandy's eyes lit up.
An AI butler?
And with a British accent?
That's even cooler than the Iron Man armor itself!
The scanning process was incredibly fast, less time than it took William to make a cup of instant coffee.
Iron Man's helmet had now turned into a projector.
A 3D model of the entire island appeared before everyone's eyes.
Dozens of glaring red alert markers popped up, so densely packed they looked like a rash.
Tandy subconsciously took a step back; the visual impact was comparable to a nightmare for someone with trypophobia.
"Sir, scan complete."
"A total of 17 system backdoors with highest privileges, 34 passive environmental information collectors, and a complete main control system remote override protocol have been found, with its terminal directly linked to S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters Triskelion."
"Theoretically, they could take over all control of the entire island within one second."
Tony turned around, his red and gold faceplate directly facing William.
"Congratulations, William. You didn't buy an island, you bought a smart collar with a view. And Nick Fury is holding the remote control."
"And seventeen backdoors."
Tony's voice was filled with disdain for his peer's crude methods.
"Does he think this is patching? And such an ugly patch at that."
William couldn't laugh at all now.
"Can it be dealt with?"
"Dealt with?"
Tony seemed to have heard the funniest joke of the century.
He extended an Iron Man finger and lightly swiped across the 3D model covered with red dots in the air.
"My dear insurance salesman, you're not asking a Michelin three-star chef if he can make an omelet. You're insulting his profession."
"Jarvis, initiate the 'Purification' program. Strip these junk codes from the core protocol, package them, and then… send them where they belong."
"Understood, sir. Executing 'Purification' program."
In the air, on the 3D model, those red alert markers seemed to have met their nemesis.
One by one, they began to flicker, collapse, and then were swallowed and enveloped by streams of blue data, finally turning into harmless gray data packets.
The entire process was dazzlingly fast, like a silent digital blitzkrieg.
Soon, all the red alerts on the entire model disappeared without a trace.
"Purification complete. All backdoors sealed, passive collectors incapacitated. Underlying firewall reconfigured and Stark Industries encryption protocol V7.2 loaded."
Jarvis reported the results.
"Excellent."
Tony nodded in satisfaction.
"Now, send Nick Fury a little gift. Permanently link his highest-privilege monitoring terminal to… hmm, let's say that 24-hour live stream of kittens playing. Choose the highest definition 4K channel, and then put the words 'S.H.I.E.L.D. Official Designated Decompression Channel' in the largest font at the top of the screen."
William was ecstatic.
Damn!
Not just killing, but also crushing the spirit!
Stark, you are my only true god!
"Command confirmed."
Jarvis emotionlessly executed the mischievous order.
"Alright, cleanup's over."
Tony's armor faceplate retracted, and he winked at William.
"Now this island is as clean as my lab floor. If Fury wants to see you again, he'll have to row over himself and go through your access application."
"Tony, I owe you for this."
William let out a long sigh, a genuine smile returning to his face.
"Owe me?"
Tony walked up to him and lightly bumped his shoulder with his Iron Man chest plate.
"Don't be so formal. I'll send you the bill, the project is 'Saving the Home of the Fallen Insurance Agent'."
He joked, clearly finding the act of annoying Nick Fury itself a top-tier entertainment.
"I'm leaving, it's too boring here, not even a good cup of coffee."
After seeing Tony off at the landing pad, the red and gold armor soared into the sky, once again transforming into a streak of light and disappearing into the horizon.
William stood rooted to the spot, an unprecedented sense of security welling up within him.
He glanced at the petrified Tandy and Tyrone beside him and said with a smile:
"Alright, kids, now this is truly our territory. Tandy, go make a shopping list, we need coffee, top-grade Blue Mountain coffee."
"Tyrone, familiarize yourself with the security systems here. Now they only listen to us."
Just then, the S.H.I.E.L.D.-issued satellite phone in his pocket, touted as "absolutely untraceable," abruptly rang.
Caller ID: Phil Coulson.
William felt his actor's soul burning brightly.
He unhurriedly answered the phone, speaking in a polite, amiable tone: "Hello, Agent Coulson, how may I help you?"
On the other end of the line, Coulson's voice carried a hint of suppressed, unconcealed confusion and bewilderment.
"William… it seems we're experiencing a technical glitch here. Our remote monitoring of North Brother Island… the signal seems to be having some issues."
"Technical glitch?"
William's tone was filled with just the right amount of surprise and concern, as if he were a civic-minded citizen worried about the functioning of municipal facilities.
"Oh dear, that's no small matter. Phil, what exactly is the situation on your end? Everything's normal here; the lights are on, the air conditioning is blowing, network signal is full, I just tested the internet speed, and I can watch high-definition movies without lag."
As he spoke, he leisurely walked to the main console and pulled up the island's energy status map.
It was all green, as stable as a textbook example.
Coulson on the other end of the phone was silent for a full five seconds, seemingly organizing his thoughts, or perhaps confirming whether he had gone mad.
"Our data link…"
Coulson's voice sounded like he was gritting his back teeth.
"The signal source for the main monitoring screen… has been redirected. It's now showing… a live stream."
"A live stream?"
William feigned curiosity and pressed on.
"What kind of live stream? Have you installed some new entertainment system on the island? Your S.H.I.E.L.D. services are truly becoming more and more comprehensive."
Coulson took a deep breath, William could almost hear his lungs expanding.
"It's… a group of kittens. Playing with a ball of yarn."
"Pfft."
Tandy, standing behind William, could no longer hold back and burst out laughing.
She quickly covered her mouth with her hand, but her shoulders were still shaking uncontrollably.
Tyrone also silently turned away, seemingly studying the texture of the wall, but the faint smile at the corner of his mouth had already betrayed him.
"Kittens?"
William's acting reached its peak at this moment, his voice filled with incredulity.
"That's absurd! Phil, you're S.H.I.E.L.D.! How could you be hacked, and then have it replaced with a kitten live stream? This is simply… a disgrace in the field of cybersecurity!"
He said with deep distress:
"Tsk tsk tsk, in this information age, cybersecurity is a lifeline! You can't let this happen. What if you get hacked by Terrorists someday? The consequences would be unimaginable! It seems your internal technical department needs more training."
"William."
Coulson's voice had lost its usual gentleness, becoming somewhat stiff.
"We will send a technical team over…"
"Hold on."
William immediately interrupted him, his tone becoming relaxed and cheerful.
"Phil, we're all smart people, so let's skip these tedious procedures. You know who did it, and I know you know. So, let's talk about the core issue."
Coulson was silent on the other end.
William continued to press: "Cooperation requires sincerity. You installed seventeen backdoors in my home; that shows a lack of sincerity. Now, I've helped you discover and point out this huge 'security vulnerability' that can be breached by kitten videos—that's my sincerity."
On the other end of the phone, only Coulson's heavy breathing remained.
William could even hear someone in the background quietly asking: "Officer, the orange cat pushed the ball of yarn down again, should we reset the screen?"
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