The diary lay there quietly, as if silently telling something.
The man was still wiping the table, but his tears had not dried for a moment.
As a husband, as a father, he himself did not know what kind of mood he was in when he said those words.
There were too many injustices in this world for him...
He was abandoned by his parents at birth because of illness. In a place like an orphanage, the thin and small him was also the object of bullying. The dean and others also continuously increased his workload as he grew older, and even kicked him out when he was thirteen.
The reason was also very ridiculous. The dean thought he was a person who would bring misfortune, and also said that after he came to the orphanage, the number of kind people who came to adopt and donate had been reduced by more than half.
And the reason why the dean thought so was because when he was very young, he had once told the dean that he could actually see some things that others could not see.
The moment he was swept out of the house, he didn't know whether he should be glad or sad, whether he should resent the dean or thank the other party.
He curled up in a corner like an abandoned wild dog.
But on that day, the wild dog met a star.
That might have been the luckiest time in his life.
He met Kyoko.
Kyoko gave him an umbrella at that time, and took him to the back kitchen where she worked. There, she almost begged for a job for him. And the price was that Kyoko's own almost non-existent salary was sharply reduced by half, and he was even unpaid, only having a few hard and dry steamed buns every day.
But those days were the best days of his life. He could be with Kyoko every day and could experience that there was still something beautiful in this world.
They worked there for a long time, until one day, he took Kyoko's hand and said he wanted to take her to Tokyo. He wanted to give her a good life.
Now that he thinks about it, he himself doesn't know how he had the courage to say such words at that time. He clearly knew nothing, understood nothing, and didn't even know how to take the subway...
He had nothing at that time.
But Kyoko still believed him. In fact, Kyoko didn't even ask much. She just silently packed her luggage, then grabbed the corner of his clothes and nodded to him as usual.
After arriving in Tokyo, he discovered that it was so difficult to survive in the world. He worked with all his might, and besides five hours of sleep, he spent all his time working, just to barely find a cramped basement for the two of them as a residence.
There was no sunlight here, and the kitchen and bathroom were almost connected. The only ventilation opening was above the bedroom wall. There was a small window there, and when you opened it, you could see the shoes of the passers-by around.
He felt ashamed of himself for only being able to find such a house for Kyoko, but Kyoko had never complained about him. She had only gotten angry with him once.
It was because he had worked overtime until three o'clock in the morning that day. When he came back, Kyoko had red eyes and was curled up on the sofa. She rushed into his arms and then cried and cursed him, telling him not to work so hard and to put his health first.
On that day, Kyoko was like a kitten soaked in the rain. Her whole body was constantly trembling. She was afraid of him leaving, and it was from that moment that he knew that he and Kyoko had long since become each other's light.
They lived day by day, and their lives were getting better day by day. Because he was very capable, he was appreciated by a boss. His salary was increasing, and Kyoko also had a part-time job, but her body was very weak and she could hardly do any heavy work. Even for the job of a cashier, she would faint from standing all day.
That was the first time he got angry with Kyoko, telling her not to go out to work.
He was earning more and more, so he wanted to move. Kyoko was unwilling. She said, "She likes the current house very much, and they should save money and really buy a house of their own."
So, they still lived here.
They had a child. It was a joint decision of the two of them, or rather, a result of Kyoko's insistence.
She told him that she wanted to have a "home" of her own and "family" of her own in this world.
He couldn't win against her and agreed, but he had a request. Kyoko could absolutely not refuse all the nutrients and necessary hospital treatment that he bought for her during this period.
Under the mutual insistence of the two, their child was born. It was a very cute girl, and they loved this child more than they loved themselves.
The life of a family of three was about to get better, and he had almost saved enough for the down payment...
But at this stage, the man and his wife were jointly diagnosed with cancer, both in the middle and late stages.
He looked at the report, his face ashen.
Looking at the report, the two of them cried for a long, long time after putting the child to sleep.
Finally, under his threat of death, Kyoko agreed to accept treatment.
The money at home was only enough to pay for one person's treatment.
From then on, he worked even more day and night.
But God does not pity anyone in this world, and the so-called miracles have never graced insignificant little characters like them.
The light flowing down from between God's fingers seems to only flow to people who are also dazzling in the world.
Kyoko's illness did not show any signs of improvement under various treatments. She wanted to give up, but was stopped by his angry roars time and time again.
But just last week, when he passed out on the construction site, he knew that everything was over.
After he woke up, he knelt down and begged his leader to let him continue to work, but the pot-bellied middle-aged man patted his shoulder coldly and then told him that if he died on the construction site, he would have to pay millions of yen in compensation, but if he let him leave now, he would only have to pay 500,000 yen.
He begged, telling the other party about his family situation. He just looked at him with disgust and then said a sentence.
"Don't casually think about causing trouble for others just because of your own problems!"
After saying that, the other party left.
He didn't tell Kyoko what happened, but Kyoko knew what happened. She knew better than anyone.
And today, when Kyoko's report came out again, the man looked at the report that still showed no improvement, thinking about the child's future. So, he sent that message to Kyoko.
Their clean deaths would bring their child much less trouble.
The money was enough for the child to live, but not enough for the two of them to live.
-------
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