Chapter 46: The Canine Emperor, Iggy
Jonas woke to the sensation of a rough, wet tongue on his hand. He cracked an eye open. A black-and-white tuxedo cat was diligently grooming him.
This was Tom, a cat who was, in all respects but one, perfectly ordinary. The one exception was his bizarre, inexplicable ability to perform a perfect 720-degree double backflip. He was also smart enough to understand most commands. When Jonas was traveling, Tom stayed with Kalia. Now that his master was home, he was making up for lost time.
Jonas could also smell food. Kalia was in the kitchen.
A short while later, they were eating dinner, the comfortable silence broken by Kalia.
"I've already contacted the bank," she said. "They're sending a representative to the house tomorrow to handle all the paperwork for your new accounts."
"You're a lifesaver, Kalia. Thank you," Jonas replied.
"That's not the only reason I called you back, you know."
"Oh? I thought it was just the bank cards."
"It's the book signing, Jonas. I've managed to kill most of your appearances, but my hands are tied on this one."
Jonas sighed. When he'd first become famous, he'd enjoyed the novelty of autograph sessions. Now, he found them unbearably tedious and avoided them at all costs.
"Why not this one?" he asked.
"Because if you cancel, you'll be in breach of contract," Kalia said, tapping her fork on the plate for emphasis. "You'll forfeit the entire last quarter of your royalties. You don't want to lose all that money, do you?"
"No, I suppose not," Jonas grumbled. He had planned to head back to Egypt to hunt for Enya, but he couldn't just walk away from a paycheck that size. "Fine. Where and when?"
"Port St. Lucie, Florida. Two weeks from now."
Jonas nodded, his mind already recalculating his timeline.
Later that evening, Jonas was relaxing on the sofa, his head resting comfortably in Kalia's lap as she watched some mindless TV program. His eyes drifted to the coffee table, where he noticed several unopened packs of coffee-flavored chewing gum.
"Since when do you chew gum?" he asked, picking up a pack.
"Oh, that," she laughed. "It's a funny story. I heard a rumor that a little stray dog has been breaking into convenience stores all over the neighborhood, but it only steals the coffee-flavored gum. It made me curious, so I bought some."
"A dog... that steals coffee gum?" Jonas muttered, a strange, powerful sense of déjà vu washing over him. "Why does that sound so... familiar?"
He couldn't place it. He dismissed the thought.
The next morning, Jonas was awakened at 8:00 AM sharp, not by an alarm, but by Tom meowing directly into his face. The cat was more reliable than a Swiss watch.
Kalia had already left breakfast for him and gone to work. He ate quickly, then checked the fridge. It was stocked with raw ingredients, but completely devoid of snacks and beer.
Jonas stood in the middle of his kitchen and snapped his fingers.
Instantly, [Oni] materialized from his shadow, awaiting its master's command.
"Take this," Jonas said, holding out a wad of cash. "Go to the local grocer. I want potato chips, beer, and cola. And make sure the chips are Original flavor."
[Oni] took the money and, with a silent nod, dissolved back into the shadows to run the errand. A Stand invisible to normal people was the perfect delivery service; it could just take the items and leave the cash on the counter.
Jonas, his chore done, collapsed back onto the sofa and pulled the sleeping Tom onto his chest.
In an alley a few hundred meters away, Iggy, a small, black-and-white Boston Terrier, was holding court. He lay on a discarded velvet pillow, a look of pure, human-like contentment on his face, as several adoring female dogs licked his fur. The ground around him was littered with the torn, silver wrappers of coffee-flavored gum.
His moment of peace was shattered by a chorus of angry barks.
Iggy let out an annoyed sigh. A massive, scarred Pitbull, drool dripping from its jowls, stalked into the alley, followed by a pack of a dozen mangy stray dogs. They barked and snarled, and the female dogs, terrified, scattered.
Iggy slowly got to his feet. He looked at the snarling pack, then at the approaching Pitbull.
"Yare yare..." he seemed to sigh, in a language neither dog nor man could understand. "Looks like I have to teach you fools a lesson... again."
The Pitbull lunged.
Iggy didn't even flinch. A cloud of sand erupted from the ground in front of him, instantly solidifying into a metallic, canine-like construct with feathered, mechanical limbs.
[The Fool].
The Stand, with a speed that defied physics, swatted the Pitbull, sending it flying back into its own pack. The dogs whimpered and retreated, but the Pitbull, enraged, got back to its feet and charged again.
Its charge was met by a blur of golden, mechanical claws. The entire pack of strays was sent flying, their yelps of pain echoing through the alley. The Pitbull was slammed into a brick wall, where it lay, whimpering.
Iggy, the undisputed Canine Emperor, sneered. He turned to go back to his adoring fans...
...and froze.
Standing at the other end of the alley, holding a paper bag full of chips and beer, was a tall, black, ninja-like figure with glowing red eyes.
[Oni]'s head tilted. A dog... is a Stand User?!
Iggy's eyes widened. That's... another Stand!
Back at the villa, Jonas had just finished his meeting with the bank representatives when [Oni] reappeared, its paper bag on the floor. It was gesturing wildly, its red eyes wide.
Jonas frowned, focusing on the connection between them, deciphering the gestures.
"Wait," Jonas said, his own eyes widening. "You're telling me you just saw... another Stand User?"
[Oni] nodded.
"And," Jonas continued, his voice full of disbelief, "you're saying this Stand User... is a dog?"
[Oni] nodded its head so fast it almost fell off.
...
...
...
Stand User: Iggy
Stand Name: [The Fool]
Destructive Power: ?
Speed: ?
Range: ?
Stamina: ?
Precision: ?
Developmental Potential: ?