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Bang! Bang!
"Huh? It's you! You actually showed up?"
"Yes, Sensei Saitama!"
"Don't call me Sensei."
"Master!"
"Don't call me that either!"
…
Genos had just seen Saitama swat Mosquito Girl flat with a single slap, and his admiration skyrocketed. He immediately asked to become Saitama's disciple, hoping to learn the secret to his power.
Now, as Genos sat across from Saitama and Ethan, the air between them was getting increasingly weird. The more he thought about the earlier exchange between those two, the stranger it felt. Eventually, Genos sighed to himself, Figures. As Saitama's neighbor, of course this guy's a little… special.
"Saitama, you damn baldy—"
"Don't call me baldy!"
"You are a damn baldy! You killed my maid with one slap! You owe me a new one!"
"I already said, stop calling me that! And what maid? That was clearly a monster, not your maid!"
"Oh please, you think I don't know my own situation? You really think a normal cute girl could ever become my maid?"
"…Okay, fair point."
Saitama rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Considering Ethan's bizarre monster-attracting aura, it did make sense—any normal maid would probably get eaten by something within two days.
"Exactly! Do you have any idea how long I've been single? Over twenty years! And just when I finally meet a maid who's perfect for me, you go and smack her into paste! Damn baldy, why don't you go die instead—!"
"She was a monster!"
"So what? As long as she's hot, who cares! And did you see her—?"
"Ethan… when it comes to maids, you can't just judge by their looks and… assets."
"Bullshit! Those two are more than enough!"
"Yeah? Well, in that case, your 'maid' just showed up again."
Saitama pointed out the window.
"Huh? Where—oh, hell no. I… I take it back. I was wrong! I was so wrong!"
Outside the window was that same gorgeous, seductive face with… yeah, those. But before Ethan could say another word, something horrible happened—right between those two magnificent curves, a huge vertical mouth split open, full of jagged teeth and a slimy tongue writhing around. Then came the rest of her body—a grotesque spider torso, eight razor-sharp legs twitching in the air. Absolutely nightmare fuel.
"God damn it! You ugly freak! Can't you just stay home instead of scaring people half to death? Get lost already!"
Before Saitama could even move, Ethan charged outside and obliterated the monster with a single punch.
Genos watched in awe. One punch… just like Sensei. No wonder he was Saitama's neighbor—clearly another insanely powerful man. It all made sense now.
"Alright, finish your tea and head home. I don't take disciples," Saitama said, setting a cup in front of Genos.
"Yeah, yeah! Genos, I'm telling you, becoming this baldy's apprentice is not a smart move." Ethan nodded repeatedly. He knew all too well what Saitama's so-called "training regimen" was—and that kind of thing would never, ever work for anyone else.
"Sensei, what kind of parts are you using?"
"I don't use any parts!"
"Then that skin-colored armor—?"
"That's just my skin, dammit! I don't wear armor!"
"So that means… Sensei, you went bald at such a young age? No wonder Mr. Ethan keeps calling you baldy!"
…
Saitama's face twitched in irritation. Ethan burst out laughing, smacking Saitama's shiny head.
"See? He's right, Genos! Saitama here is just a plain ol' baldy. A baldy through and through! Hahaha!"
"Sensei, would you care to hear my story?"
"No. Not at all."
But Genos ignored him and launched straight into his life story anyway.
To be fair, Ethan was actually kind of into it—it was like listening to a good novel, full of drama and revenge.
Saitama, on the other hand, looked like he was physically suffering. His face was red, veins popping, eyes twitching like he was fighting constipation.
"Hey! Are you even listening to me?!" Saitama slammed his hand on the table, veins bulging. "Whatever you're saying—keep it under twenty words!"
"Ahahahaha!" Ethan couldn't stop laughing. "That's our Saitama! Sure, he trained so hard he became stupidly strong—but the side effects were real. First he lost his hair, and then his brain power! If you talk to him for too long, keep it short or he'll get a headache! Hahaha!"
"I see!" Genos clenched his fist in realization. "So in order to gain such strength, he even sacrificed part of his intelligence. Impressive… Still, even if I lose some brain cells, I'll never end up that dumb!"
"Genos, you little punk! What do you mean 'not as dumb as me'?!" Saitama roared.
"..."
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