The cold morning is slightly having a glimpse of sunlight in it, which lands on my face softly. I open my eyes slowly and sit on the bed while rubbing my eyes, but the moment I open my eyes fully, I see Wang Ruoxi sitting in front of me with folded arms. It looks exactly like she is going to take my interview.
"What?" I said to her.
"What didn't you know what happened yesterday?" she asked.
"No. Did anything happen that needs to be remembered?" I asked her innocently.
Then she handed me a bottle. I drank it immediately, thinking it was water, but the moment I sipped it, it tasted different.
"Wang Ruoxi, it's not water. Why are you giving me lemon water early in the morning? Do you want to catch a cold or cough? If you really want that, then just tell me—I won't wear warm clothes today and will go outside wearing my summer clothes. Then you'll be satisfied, right?" I said.
She exhaled sharply and said, "Zhao Shiza, you came here late last night with a boy who was carrying you on his back. You were so, so drunk that you were sleeping. He dropped you here yesterday, and you don't even remember it?"
"What?" I got a little shocked. "I never drink. You know that, Wang Ruoxi. Even on our birthdays, when you drink, I don't. Then how is it possible that last night I got so drunk that I don't remember anything?" I said while scratching my head.
"Are you having a headache?" she asked.
"No."
"Not even a little bit?"
"No, not even a little bit."
"Look at you. Just look at you, Zhao Shiza. You look like a professional drinker. Even they have headaches after waking up, but you—drinking for the first time and no headache. Quite surprising, isn't it?" she said.
"I don't know all this," I said.
"Then tell me, how did you get drunk?" After a pause, she continued, "Did he make you drunk and act innocent in front of me yesterday?"
"Who he? First, tell me that," I asked.
"You really don't know?"
"No."
"Your dearest Xu—"
Before she could even complete her sentence, I stopped her midway and said, "Stop it, Wang Ruoxi. Now it's too much. You are going beyond limits. If yesterday Xu Yuan dropped me here—which I don't even remember clearly—but you are blaming him with such ridiculous things. You know what? My Xu Yuan—I trust him blindly. He can never do such things. What you are trying to put on him—just stop here. Don't utter a single word against him. I know he was just helping last night."
"Why are you shouting at me, Zhao Shiza? Just because of that Xu Yuan, who already has a girlfriend? Stop calling him your Xu Yuan. He is not yours and will never be yours. The sooner you understand this, the easier your life will be."
Her words felt like someone stabbing my heart with a sharp knife, because deep inside, I know whatever she is saying is not completely wrong. It's right—totally right. He is not mine. Xu Yuan was never mine. I need to understand it.
But why… why does my Mr. Heart always overpower my whole system?
My eyes fill with tears, and they start rolling down.
Wang Ruoxi says while looking at the window, "You were drunk last night. You came here with him in that condition. So what else should I think?"
She turns around and sees me standing there, numb and crying without blinking. Tears are rolling down like rainwater droplets.
She immediately comes close, hugs me tightly, rubs my back, and says, "Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry, Zhao Shiza. I won't say it again. I promise. Your Xu Yuan is the best. I just said that because I got worried for you. Nothing against him. He is the best—best. Now relax. Calm down."
Look at her. He is the one who caused her pain, but he is also the only one who can heal her. Even after knowing that the pain is caused by him, still he is the one who calms her. Since all these years, only he has that power.
She takes her phone with one hand while the other still rubs my back and opens Weibo. She opens his account and shows me his picture. I start crying even more.
"He is not mine, Wang Ruoxi. You said it right. He is really, really not mine."
"Stop, Zhao Shiza. Stop. Just relax."
She makes me sit on the bed and hands me her phone showing his photo. I stare at it slowly, steadily. My crying stops. My body relaxes. I wipe my tears, go to the washroom, freshen up, and change.
Before I leave, Wang Ruoxi says, "Be careful, okay?"
I nod. "I'm going."
"Take care. Bye-bye."
"Bye-bye."
After following my daily routine—from dorm to bus stop, bus to set—I reach the shooting location.
Then he comes and slightly holds one of my ponytails and says in a deep voice near my ear, "Come with me. I have something to talk about."
He is so close to me. My Mr. Heart starts fluttering again.
But I say, holding all my emotions, "Xu Yuan, I need to change my costume for the scene. Otherwise, the shoot will get delayed."
"So you are not coming with me?" he asks, still holding my ponytail.
"I'm just saying—not now," I say while looking down.
He exhales sharply, looks at me, and says, "Okay, fine. Then I have my ways to make you come."
My Mr. Heart flutters even more than before.
What ways? I ask myself.
Then...