Having been reborn as a human, I was far less carefree than when I was a soul.
I had regained the seven emotions and six desires. After a period of emptiness, when all the emotions surged up together, it was like galloping horses sweeping across the prairie, or floodwaters pouring out all at once during the rainy season.
Such intense emotions suddenly rushed towards me, leaving me unable to control them.
The sound of the wind in my ears faded, and I couldn't even hear what Su Ning'an, who had just gotten out of the car, seemed to be saying.
That tall sculpture was like a lighthouse in the dark night, and I was merely a small boat floating on the vast ocean.
Drawn by it, I walked over step by step.
When I reached the sculpture, its body was covered in unmelted snow.
My tears fell profusely, dropping into the snow at my feet, the scalding temperature creating small melted pits.
Perhaps in everyone's eyes, I seemed possessed at this moment.
I couldn't hear their calls. Trembling, I reached out my hand, brushing the snowflakes off the sculpture bit by bit.
It was strange.
This was clearly my own corpse, yet I treated it like a long-lost old friend. The emotions in my heart were too complex, so complex that I myself didn't know which one it was.
An unfathomable, thick sorrow enveloped my entire being.
"Auntie, what are you doing?" Su Ning'an, seeing I wasn't listening, reached out and pulled me.
But my mind felt controlled by something.
Only one thought remained.
She must be so cold.
I am Su Wan, yet not only Su Wan.
Ignoring my red, frozen hands, I kept brushing the snow off her.
Until Lu Yanchen's voice rang out: "Don't forget, you're injured! Do you want to die again?"
Although Jiang Wanwan's cut wasn't fatal or too deep, vigorous movement could easily reopen it.
A second injury might be worse than the first.
His icy voice was like a bucket of cold water, drenching me to the bone.
Die? I don't want to die.
Death is too terrible.
Wandering alone between heaven and earth, with no one able to hear my voice—that's too painful!
My mind was trance, tears still streaking my face, eyes red. To others, I must have looked pitiful.
Lu Shiyan spoke: "Auntie, you don't seem quite right. Go upstairs and rest for a while."
My mind was unsettled, my heart in turmoil. I let Su Ning'an support me.
"Auntie, what's wrong? Do you need to go to the hospital?"
I didn't answer her question, glancing back instead.
In the vast falling snow, Lu Yanchen sat alone in his wheelchair.
He was looking up at the sculpture's face, just watching quietly.
It was an expression I had never seen before, his eyes filled with sorrow...
The heavy snow fell on him, yet he seemed unaware. The man and the sculpture stood in the wind and snow, isolated from the world.
But I felt as if all my strength had been drained. My vision went black, and my body went limp.
Before losing consciousness, I seemed to see Lu Shiyan reaching out for me.
"Wanwan."
Years of emotion had conditioned him. He caught my body and carried me upstairs.
Su Ning'an followed closely. When Lu Shiyan placed me on the guest room bed, Su Ning'an lowered her voice: "What are you doing? She's Jiang Wanwan, not Su Wan!"
Lu Shiyan looked at my face, a flash of pain crossing his eyes.
"She looks too much like Wanwan, especially her profile. When I can't see the cinnabar mole between her eyebrows, I instinctively think she's Wanwan..."
Lu Shiyan explained helplessly. Regarding the mysteries Su Ning'an created, he might believe them in the heat of the moment, but afterwards, the emptiness in his heart would be filled with longing.
We had known each other for nearly twenty years. That was such a long time.
It couldn't be erased by Su Ning'an's few words.
Lu Shiyan's spirit teetered on the edge of collapse and reshape. Perhaps in extreme moments, he hated me, but in the long stretch of miss, his reason would be gradually eroded.
Seeing this, Su Ning'an's voice turned cold as she warned, "Have you forgotten what Su Wan did to you? She betrayed you. Even if she died, she got what she deserved!"
Lu Shiyan's face changed dramatically. He looked coldly at Su Ning'an. "What nonsense are you talking? I just asked Huang Yu today; there's no progress. Since we haven't found Wanwan's body, there's still a glimmer of hope."
"Lu Shiyan, have you gone mad? Even if Su Wan isn't dead, she hates you. To get revenge, she slept with someone else. Doesn't that bother you?"
Lu Shiyan clenched his fists. "I'm not mad. She betrayed me, but didn't I betray her too? When I saw Jiang Wanwan, all I could think of was how vibrant Su Wan used to be."
"In the past, I complained to you about her being boring. But wasn't it me who made her suppress her nature to accompany me to the top, who made her become boring?"
"She was ready to be Mrs. Lu. Internally, she managed everything for me; externally, she handled things with ease. By my side, she was the stabilizing force, and I..."
Lu Shiyan covered his face. "I smugly enjoyed the convenience she brought, arrogantly found her not lively or interesting enough. But I forgot that I was the one who made her that way! And I did such things behind her back."
Tears seeped from between his fingers, his voice choked. "I don't blame her anymore. Even if Su Wan betrayed me, as long as she comes back, I won't resent anything. I just want her by my side, like before."
Smack!
Su Ning'an slapped him hard across the face.
This was the first time I saw Su Ning'an lose her temper. Her eyes were red. "Lu Shiyan, then what am I? What does Su Ning'an mean to you?!"
She finally stopped pretending and showed her true colors.
I couldn't witness this good show because, after fainting, I heard a strange voice.
To be precise, the voice I heard before I jumped off the building. It was her, Jiang Wanwan.
"Do you like my body?"
We seemed to be conversing in our consciousness. I saw a girl wearing a black long dress adorned with many black velvet roses on the skirt.
The red dot between her eyebrows seemed even more dazzlingly beautiful.
But her face was deathly pale, her eyes冷ly fixed on me.
She and I had completely opposite personalities.
I explained helplessly: "I'm sorry. I wanted to live, you wanted to die, so by chance, I entered your body."
She stared at my face. "Why do we look so much alike? Who are you?"
"My name is Su Wan."
I hurriedly said to her, "If you're willing, can I tell you a story?"
In the shortest time possible, I recounted my past. After a long silence, she said, "I didn't want to live anymore long ago. The only one I worry about is my mother. If you can take good care of my mother for me, I have no objections, but..."
"But what?"
"Just now, a force brought me here. My body is forcibly pulling me back."
I had the same feeling. Ever since I saw my sculpture, I couldn't control my emotions.
Was it because of my own body?
I was greatly alarmed. My revenge hadn't even begun!
No, it can't be like this.
I opened my eyes. Su Ning'an and Lu Shiyan, who were still arguing nearby, looked at me.
But I paid no attention, rushing outside instead.
Sprinting all the way, I saw the man still in the heavy snow.
He was reaching out, as if wanting to touch the sculpture.
The moment his fingertips were about to touch it, seeing me running wildly, a look of awkwardness flashed across his face.
Tears streaming, I threw myself into his arms, telling him in an urgent voice, "Lu Yanchen, I saw..."
He frowned, not quite understanding me. "What?"
I pointed at the nearby sculpture. "I just saw a woman. She looks a lot like me. She told me she's trapped inside this..."
As soon as I finished speaking, Lu Yanchen's face changed dramatically.