The next morning. "Haah~" Lin Fan yawned as he got out of bed, stepping from the bedroom toward the bathroom. As he passed through the living room, he was startled by Longyue, who was sitting silently on the sofa.
"Whoa, Empress, you should make a sound when you wake up. You're sitting there like a ghost."
"This Empress is finished... finished..." With an expression as if life held no meaning, Longyue ignored Lin Fan, muttering to herself with her head bowed.
Lin Fan walked up beside her anxiously.
"What's wrong? What happened?" She had seemed to be in quite a good mood after finishing the whole cake upon returning last night. How could she wake up with a face as if she were on the brink of death?
"Wuwuwu... This Empress is finished, finished...!" Longyue suddenly covered her face and cried, sobbing heartbrokenly.
Lin Fan was surprised. This was the first time he had seen the cold and strong-willed Empress in this state. "Hey hey hey, what exactly is wrong? Don't just cry, tell me what happened."
"Wuwuwu... This Empress, this Empress... This Empress is unclean!" Longyue gripped Lin Fan's collar with utter devastation and shouted.
"Huh... (⊙_⊙)? How are you unclean? I didn't do anything to you." Lin Fan looked surprised.
Longyue lifted her head with red eyes and glared at him angrily. "That's not what this Empress meant!"
"Then what do you mean by unclean?" Lin Fan was even more confused.
"You...! Just be honest! Do you really have to make this Empress say it directly!" "Fine! This Empress will tell you, this Empress pooped! Are you happy now! Wuwuwu..." As she spoke, Longyue became agitated and started crying again.
Lin Fan stood frozen in place, his face blank. "Pooped? Then what...?"
"What do you mean, 'then what'! This is a very serious matter! This is something that is absolutely intolerable!"
"This Empress is the Empress of the Great Heavenly Palace, revered by many! How, how can I excrete filthy and rotten substances like an ordinary mortal!"
"I can't accept it! This Empress can't accept it! This must be unreal!" Longyue held her head with both hands, her expression filled with despair and sorrow she couldn't accept.
Generally, once a cultivator reached a certain level and achieved inedia, they only needed to absorb spiritual energy from the heavens and earth to sustain themselves and no longer needed to eat, and naturally, they also had no need for excretory functions. Even if they consumed some food due to the cravings of the mouth and stomach, they could rely on their own power to completely refine and absorb the food. Things that truly couldn't be refined and absorbed would be transformed into turbid qi spheres or condensed into pellet excrement to be expelled from the mouth or the surface of the body. Excreting from her lower body like an ordinary mortal was something she had never done before! Not even once! This was something she absolutely could not accept. It was no exaggeration to call it a stain and a disgrace in her life! If others found out, her esteemed name as the Empress of the Immortal Realm would be lost! Right now, she even had the urge to end her own life, so that one ending could resolve a hundred problems. Let the Great Empress just be considered dead since she fell into the void...
"And I thought it was something serious. Isn't it just going to the toilet?" "Going to the toilet is a form of detoxification. This is a good thing. One can't just hold it in until they die, right?" Knowing that it was just going to the toilet, Lin Fan felt relieved and tried to comfort her casually. She had almost finished the whole cream cake by herself last night; it must be hard not to go to the toilet. Now, when the spiritual energy in her body was almost completely gone, her body needed to eat to replenish its functions, so naturally, it also needed to detoxify like an ordinary mortal. In his eyes, this was all perfectly normal.
Longyue couldn't accept this fact and snarled at Lin Fan, nearly in despair: "It's absolutely not a good thing!" "This Empress is the Empress of the Great Heavenly Palace, the Great Sovereign of the Immortal Realm!"
"Fairies don't poop!!"
Lin Fan: "..." Lin Fan was silent. After a moment of silence, he could only cough softly and try to comfort her from a different perspective: "Empress, expelling waste and toxins from the body is an instinctive mechanism of the body. Now that both of us have lost our cultivation, our bodies cannot purify that waste on their own, so we must excrete it externally like ordinary mortals." "It's not just you. Even this sovereign is the same. Pooping is a common human experience; there's nothing to be ashamed of."
Hearing this, Longyue felt a little better and stopped crying. "Really? Then Demon Sovereign, you also poop?"
"...Er, of course! I had a big poop last night, so Your Majesty, you don't need to worry." Lin Fan admitted after a slight hesitation.
Longyue wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes, her heart suddenly feeling much more balanced. "But Demon Sovereign, you're from the Demon Clan, and your original body was an ordinary mortal. Isn't it normal for your body to excrete such filthy substances? This Empress is different from you."
Lin Fan: "..." "Empress, there's no fun when you talk like that..." He was kindly trying to comfort someone, only to be stabbed back.
Lin Fan was truly helpless. To comfort her, he had even told a well-intentioned lie, but she genuinely thought it was a natural thing for the Demon Clan to poop... If they still had their cultivation and spiritual energy, the Demon Clan wouldn't need to poop either, okay!
"I'm sorry, this Empress was rude." Longyue also felt that it didn't seem appropriate for her to talk like that and immediately apologized.
After the guidance from Lin Fan, she didn't feel so bad anymore. After all, this was the body's self-preservation mechanism. In order to be able to return to the Immortal Demon Continent later, she could only accept it all.
"It's alright." Seeing that Longyue's mood had improved considerably, Lin Fan got up and walked toward the bathroom, preparing to wash his face in the morning. When he opened the bathroom door, he couldn't help but freeze in place. At the same time, Longyue's bone-chilling words came from behind him, and a cold wave of killing intent swept across his spine. "If you dare to say it smells, this Empress will kill you!"
Lin Fan swallowed silently and hurriedly braced himself as he stepped into the bathroom. He felt that if he hesitated for a moment longer, or dared to say one more word, the person behind him might just kill him to silence him...
When Lin Fan came out after washing his face, he saw Longyue, whose mood had just recovered a bit, lying back on the sofa with a face as if life held no meaning. With a sheen of tears in her eyes, she stared at the ceiling, muttering to herself: "Home... This Empress wants to go home..." She knew very little about this new and unknown world, and she didn't even know where to begin to understand it deeper. She didn't know what to do next; her path in life was completely lost.
"Empress, you have too much idle time, that's why you always let your mind wander." Lin Fan sat beside Longyue and pointed a finger toward the television in the middle of the living room. "This sovereign has set up the television. Would you like to watch?"
"Television? This black mirror?" Longyue turned her head to look at the television, her expression confused. The dark television screen reflected her appearance and the living room, looking like a black mirror.
"It's not a mirror, it's a television, a special electrical device for playing videos. This is one way for people to relax and entertain themselves nowadays." Lin Fan gave a brief introduction, then took the television remote control and turned it on. The television screen lit up, and the display was immediately filled with color and sound. On the screen, some talking sheep appeared.
Seeing this sight, Longyue's eyes instantly widened. She leaped from the sofa in surprise and pointed at the screen: "Sheep! Those sheep are talking!"
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