The chest moved.
I swear it did.
Kael was still patting my shoulder, trying to calm me down from my whole Hydra-induced breakdown, when the diamond chest twitched.
Like, full-on wiggled.
I froze. "Kael…"
He blinked down at it. "...Yes?"
"Did you...did you see that?"
"What?"
"The chest. It just..." wobble "...IT DID IT AGAIN!"
Before I could finish panicking, the lid snapped open with a clack! so loud my soul left my body. I screamed. Loud enough to scare any remaining wildlife in the next ten kilometers.
Kael just sighed. "Relax, Eunji. It's just a treasure chest."
"'Just a treasure chest,' he says!" I hissed, clutching his sleeve. "That thing just jumped like a possessed toaster!"
But then the shimmer inside caught my eye. My brain stopped short.
"Oh."
It was… gorgeous. Jet-black assassin's armor, sleek and shadowy, with this faint pulse of energy that practically screamed Kael.
Of course. Even the loot box had good taste.
Kael crouched down, his hair falling slightly over his eyes as he picked it up. The armor practically shifted to match his size.
He grinned. "Well, looks like it chose me."
I crossed my arms. "Oh sure. The edgy mysterious armor for the edgy mysterious man. How unexpected."
He laughed. It wasn't fair how good that sounded.
Then something glowed beneath the armor. A tiny glass vial, swirling with golden light.
I leaned forward cautiously. "What's that?"
Kael shrugged, reaching for it. "Some kind of potion, maybe..."
The moment he lifted it, a ding echoed right in my head. My stomach dropped.
My vision flashed, my screen came back online even though I'd turned it off permanently.
[Mythic Item Acquired: Gender Change Pill]
Description: A pill that aligns the body with the soul's true nature.
Activation Requirements:
– Kill 10 Rank A Bosses
– Kill 5 Rank S Bosses
– Kill 2 Rank SS Bosses
– Kill 1 Rank SSS Boss
Progress: 0%
I just stared. Then I screeched.
"WHAT...WHAT IN THE ACTUAL..."
Kael jumped, nearly dropping the armor. "Eunji?!"
"It's...It's a..." I was waving my hands around like I was trying to conduct an orchestra of pure chaos. "A gender change pill!"
He blinked. "…What?"
"Yes!" I jabbed at the air. "It...it can make me a girl again! My real self!"
His eyebrows shot up. "That's...wait, seriously? That exists?"
"It exists but it hates me!" I yelled, spinning my screen toward him even though he couldn't see it. "Look! Look at the requirements! Ten Rank A bosses! FIVE Rank S bosses! TWO Rank SS! AND ONE SSS!"
Kael tilted his head, squinting at the empty air. "...I don't see anything."
I froze. "Oh. Right. You don't get system screens."
He looked mildly amused. "So you're just… screaming at invisible text again?"
"YES!" I snapped. "Because the invisible text just told me I need to fight literal nightmares for a pill that fixes my gender dysphoria!"
Kael just… grinned. Like that stupid calm confident grin that made me want to punch him and kiss him at the same time.
"Then we'll do it."
"WHAT?!"
"You want to be yourself again, don't you?" He adjusted the armor on his arm, voice steady, eyes serious now. "Then we'll take those quests. I'll help you."
I threw my hands up. "Kael, you can't help with that list! You don't understand! Rank SS and SSS bosses don't even EXIST right now! They're... they're like...legendary! Urban myth levels! Nobody's ever fought one!"
His brows furrowed. "...Wait. Rank SS? SSS? I've never heard of those before."
"Exactly!" I said, pacing like I was explaining nuclear science. "They've been locked ever since the world....uh....reset, I think? Nobody's seen those ranks in forever! That's the puzzle! The system's mocking me!"
"So," he said slowly, "this pill wants you to clear things that don't even exist yet."
"Yes! Which means I'll die of old age before I even get to the girl part!"
Kael chuckled, eyes glinting with something dangerous. "Or maybe we just have to be the ones to find them."
My mouth dropped. "You can't be serious."
"I'm very serious," he said. "Rank S bosses exist. We'll start there. Join parties, hunt together. You get the final blow, since the quest requires your kills."
My head spun. "You want us to… party up? Like...go boss raiding?"
He nodded. "Exactly. Big quests, real rewards. You'll build a name for yourself again, and I'll make sure you stay alive long enough to finish this… gender quest of yours."
I blinked up at him. The earnestness in his voice almost disarmed me completely. "You'd really… help me do all that?"
Kael smiled faintly. "You really think I'd miss the chance to see you in your true form?"
Oh. Oh no. My brain short-circuited.
"W-well I...I mean... you'd still have to wait until I kill about twenty demigods, but..." I stammered, trying not to combust.
He laughed. The kind of laugh that made everything feel a little too real.
"Then it's settled," he said. "We'll start by taking another Rank S. There's bound to be one posted soon."
I groaned. "You say that like we didn't almost die thirty minutes ago."
"You survived," Kael said simply. "And you fought like Leonhart."
"I screamed like a toaster on fire!"
"You won, Eunji."
That shut me up.
I sighed, running a hand through Leonhart's ridiculous hair. "...Fine. But if I die, I'm haunting you."
"Wouldn't be the first time," he murmured, smirking.
"Excuse me?!"
He only chuckled again, turning to head back toward the World Quest board. His new assassin's armor shimmered, the shadows hugging him like they'd always belonged there.
I stood there, clutching the little glowing vial in my palm, heart hammering.
A pill that could give me myself back.
A man who saw me, not Leonhart, not the avatar, but me.
And a world that suddenly didn't feel like a game anymore.
Kael called over his shoulder. "Come on, Eunji. We've got gods to kill."
I stared at the pill, sighed dramatically, and followed him.
"…This is either going to end in glory," I muttered under my breath, "or with my funeral being live-streamed by a talking chest."
Kael just laughed.
And somehow, despite everything, I laughed too.