The giant holographic timer floated above the guild hall like some smug cosmic stopwatch.
00:10:00 blinked in the air, casting its glow across our oak table like it was mocking me.
Ten minutes. Ten minutes until I was officially shoved into the bloodiest, sweatiest, most traumatizing guild event in MMO history… except now it was real.
I slumped in my chair, chewing my thumbnail. "Okay. Okay. No need to panic. Just a friendly little PvP event. Like before. We do it all the time."
Then my brain replayed the announcer's voice from earlier: No respawns.
I froze mid-bite of nail. "…Wait. What did he mean by that, exactly?"
I whipped around to Luna, who sat cross-legged on the bench, serene as a saint with her staff across her lap.
"Luna. Clarify. Please. Right now. Because my mental stability depends on it."
She blinked at me with wide innocent eyes. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?!" I nearly shrieked. "The announcer just said no respawns! Does that mean no respawns like haha you lose points, or no respawns like haha we get to experience people's internal organs on the floor in 4K?!"
Keiji, our guild's brains and professional buzzkill, pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose like he was adjusting his IQ. "It means exactly what it sounds like. Once you die, you're out of the event."
I leaned toward him, frantic. "Out of the event, as in vanish? Or out of the event, as in… people will remember the way I screamed while my torso got split like a piñata?"
Luna hesitated. Then, in the softest tone imaginable, she said: "Well… technically, when someone dies in the event, their body… um… falls over dramatically, bleeds a lot, maybe screams a little, and then they vanish back to their guild hall."
I slapped both hands over my face. "Oh no. It's anime gore rules."
"Leonhart." Keiji's voice was firm, calm, irritatingly unbothered. "Relax. It's just a game."
I ripped my hands off my face and pointed at him like an outraged lawyer. "It was a game when I was sitting in pajamas with Cheeto dust on my chest! This? This is not a game! This is about to be rated R for Really Traumatizing."
00:08:45.
My legs bounced so hard the bench rattled. "Oh god. This is going to be bloody. Painful. Why am I here? I didn't sign up for this."
Luna patted my shoulder sweetly. "You'll be fine, Leonhart. You're the strongest."
"Yeah," I snapped, "because if I wasn't, the continent would be in ashes already! Remember the slime genocide? I blinked at a slime and it turned into radioactive confetti. How am I supposed to 'tone it down' in a war where people actually bleed?!"
Keiji gave me a look so dry it could dehydrate grapes. "You're on flag duty. You just stand there. Intimidating."
"Intimidating?" I repeated, scandalized. "Me? Standing still? I have the resting face of someone who just stubbed their toe on a table leg! You expect me to..."
00:07:00.
I flailed my arms. "Oh god, it's ticking down. It's actually ticking down. I can see my impending death in holographic form."
"Calm yourself," Keiji said. "First priority: survival. Second: capture flags one at a time. We're not rushing. If we stay smart, we'll last."
"Third priority," I cut in desperately, "keep me from fainting when I see blood. Please. I am not emotionally equipped for this."
Luna tilted her head. "You'll get used to it."
I stared at her, betrayed. "Get used to it?! Like it's lactose intolerance?! Luna, there's no pill for trauma!"
00:05:30.
Guild members shifted around us, sharpening blades, flexing knuckles, cracking necks.
Everyone looked like they were in a heroic war montage.
And me? I looked like a guy about to faint in the middle of a Costco.
My palms were sweating so hard I worried the sword would slip out like a greased hotdog. I clutched it anyway.
"Okay. Okay, Leonhart. Just… do the thing. Act cool. Don't cry in front of everyone."
00:03:00.
"Formation is simple," Keiji explained, because apparently my mental breakdown didn't warrant a pause in his TED Talk. "Leonhart and Luna protect the flag. The rest will advance carefully, targeting smaller guilds first. One flag at a time."
I nodded like I understood. Inside, my brain was screaming: Smaller guilds my ass, one of them is going to shiv me with a dagger while making eye contact, and I'm going to see my own blood fountain out like bad CGI.
Luna smiled at me encouragingly. "You'll be great."
I smiled back weakly. "Yeah. Great. Totally great. If by 'great' you mean 'emotional support nuke having a panic attack.'"
00:01:00.
The hall went silent. Everyone gripped their weapons.
I gripped mine like it was a teddy bear.
"Final countdown," Keiji said calmly.
00:00:10.
"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry," I whispered to myself.
00:00:05.
I inhaled sharply. "Okay, fine. If I die, I die. But I'm haunting everyone."
00:00:00.
The world blinked.
Suddenly, we were standing on rolling green fields, with stone walls rising behind us, our base for Sword God Guild.
The guild's flag, tall and glowing like the ultimate middle finger, flapped in the breeze.
"Positions!" Keiji barked.
Everyone scrambled. Luna moved to my side, serene as always.
I forced myself to stand tall, puff out my chest, and slap on Leonhart's trademark fearless glare.
On the outside, I looked like a man ready for war. On the inside?
This is it. Day one of the bloodiest filler arc in history. Somebody hold me.
And with that… Guild War began.