"What's wrong with being nuts? I'm proud of it!" Ebara said smugly.
Ignoring Jiraiya, he strode toward Yoen Village.
Jiraiya sighed, shaking his head, but followed. He didn't know Ebara's plan, but he knew Ebara never made a losing deal.
They hadn't gone far when Yoen ninjas spotted them.
A chunin on guard duty tensed. "Who are you?"
"Iwa special jonin Daibi Toji and Shobi Saiji, requesting to see the Flame Shadow," Ebara said, introducing himself and Jiraiya.
"Daibi Toji? Shobi Saiji?" The chunin eyed them suspiciously.
Ebara smiled; Jiraiya stayed stone-faced.
"What's your business with the Flame Shadow? We need details to report," the chunin said, respectful but cautious.
Yoen had fewer than ten jonin total. He couldn't afford to offend Iwa's special jonin.
"On the Tsuchikage's orders, we're here to strengthen ties between our villages," Ebara said smoothly.
"Please wait," the chunin said, sending someone to notify the Flame Shadow.
Within minutes, the messenger returned. "The Flame Shadow will see you!"
Led by the chunin, Ebara and Jiraiya entered Yoen Village.
Both looked relaxed.
Ebara, naturally, never knew tension. He strolled, hands behind his back, like a boss inspecting his turf.
"Not bad, your village is well-built," he said, nodding. "Nice. But there's room for improvement. Hope you take my critique humbly, yeah?"
Jiraiya nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly."
Pointing at a building, he added, "That's a hot spring inn, right? It's way too secure. How's anyone supposed to peek into the women's bath?"
"Don't get me wrong—I'm not targeting Yoen. I mean all women's baths have this flaw."
Their antics left the chunin dumbfounded. Special jonin or street thugs?
Noticing the chunin's odd look at Jiraiya, Ebara grinned. "Don't misunderstand. Shobi Saiji's no thug. He's a ninja and an architectural genius, especially for hot springs."
The chunin nodded vaguely. "I see."
Jiraiya chimed in. "Yup. I can spot flawed bathhouse designs—ones easy to peek into—at a glance. Not that I peek, mind you. Others do. That's why I'm on every inn's 'special' guest list."
The chunin nodded, pretending to understand.
They reached the Flame Shadow's office.
"Gentlemen, I'm Ueto Miya. The Flame Shadow awaits," a slim man with gold-rimmed glasses said, smiling.
"Pfft!" Ebara nearly choked. Ueto Miya? His fake names—Daibi Toji and Shobi Saiji—were tame by comparison.
"What? Heard of me?" Ueto adjusted his glasses, curious.
"Nah, just… your name's unique," Ebara said, stifling a laugh.
"My father chose it. He liked it, and so do I," Ueto said, smiling.
Ebara chuckled. "Your dad must've really loved your mom."
He didn't say aloud: Your dad's not human to pick a name like that.
To his surprise, Ueto shook his head. "No mom. My dad raised me alone. I'm an orphan."
Ebara smirked. "Then you're a swordsman, right?"
"How'd you know?" Ueto asked, shocked.
"Lots of orphans are swordsmen," Ebara said, hinting at tropes.
Ueto, oblivious, said, "My ninja way is: The long road, my sword as my companion."
"Funny, mine's: Posing's like the wind, always by my side," Ebara quipped.
"Posing means… being awesome, right?"
"Yup, it's a compliment."
"Then you're super awesome!" Ueto said.
"Thanks."
Jiraiya was cracking up. Knowing "posing" meant "showing off," he loved the irony.
Noticing Jiraiya, Ueto smiled. "You too, Shobi Saiji. Very awesome."
Jiraiya's face fell. Did you just insult me?
They reached the Flame Shadow's office. Ueto knocked.
"Come in!"
Inside, the Flame Shadow appeared.
About fifty, rotund, with sparse hair clinging to the sides of his head, defiantly combed over.
Tomo Hikari, the Flame Shadow.
He reminded Ebara of his high school principal.
"Lord Flame Shadow, the special jonin from the Land of Earth are here," Ueto said respectfully.
Tomo smiled. "What brings you to Yoen?"
"Nothing major, just fostering village ties," Ebara said.
Tomo chuckled. "The Tsuchikage doesn't see Yoen as a backwater? We're honored to connect."
Ebara hinted, "You're too modest. The Tsuchikage himself said, with a storm coming, no force is too small—especially one between Fire and Earth."
Tomo caught the subtext instantly. "We're grateful for the Tsuchikage's regard. Yoen won't forget it."
"Perfect," Ebara said, grinning.
After some small talk, Ebara said they needed to report back.
Tomo insisted they stay, and Ebara "reluctantly" agreed.
"Ueto Miya, show our guests to their quarters. You're their host for the next few days," Tomo ordered.
"Yes, sir!" Ueto said.
Ebara and Jiraiya bid Tomo farewell and followed Ueto out.
"I'm your guide now. Anywhere you want to visit?" Ueto asked.
Ebara leaned in, eyes gleaming sleazily. "Any… ladies of the night in this town?"