Orochimaru didn't know Ebara's filthy thoughts.
He only cared about how much his research contributed to Kurokawa's death.
This was his first human experiment.
Human testing was his lifelong dream.
That year, seeing his science teacher slumped in despair, sobbing, left a mark.
He vowed to go further in science.
Now, a human test subject was within reach.
Was this his one shot at scientific glory?
He had to seize it.
"No way," Ebara said firmly. "If you take the body, how do I report to the Third?"
Jiraiya chimed in, "Yeah, this guy ruined my rep. We need him to clear my name, or I'm screwed forever."
Orochimaru's eyes glinted coldly, his voice raspy. "I'm taking this body."
It was the first time he'd been so insistent.
His stubbornness left Jiraiya speechless.
Ebara dropped his playful demeanor.
"You can't take it, no matter what."
Orochimaru's dark path—sparked by his parents' early deaths and too many corpses—hinged on human experimentation.
It was a pit you couldn't climb out of.
In the original story, Orochimaru killed Konoha allies for his tests.
Ebara didn't want that to happen again—for Orochimaru and his future victims.
"You serious?" Orochimaru asked, staring.
"Dead serious," Ebara said, nodding with rare conviction.
Jiraiya sensed the tension, unsure what to say.
The standoff hung heavy.
Swish swish swish!
Figures appeared beside Jiraiya—Anbu.
Their fight's noise (Chapter 38) had alerted them, and the Third had sent trackers after they left Anbu HQ (Chapter 35).
"Is this the lab attacker?" an Anbu asked.
"Yup. Take him to the Third," Jiraiya said quickly.
The Anbu nodded. Two lifted Kurokawa's body to leave.
"Wait, we'll report together," Ebara called.
"Fine."
They freed Ebara, left two Anbu to clean up, and headed to the Hokage's office.
"You really killed him?" the Third asked Ebara, incredulous.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
He saw Ebara daily, yet felt the same.
Not long ago, Ebara was a nobody, barely graduating. Days later, he beat a chunin (Chapter 30), then two elite Anbu chunin (Chapter 32).
Now, he'd killed a jonin.
The world was nuts.
Ebara was a genius now?
"Tell me how you did it," the Third said.
Ebara grinned smugly. "He was touched to death by my humanitarian spirit!"
The Third: "???"
Ebara sighed, gazing skyward at a 45-degree angle, channeling Wong Kar-wai with a slow, wistful tone.
"2.37 seconds after I fell into the toad puppet… he started talking."
"He said he had a beautiful wife back home. They were happy."
"Before this mission, he promised her it'd be his last."
"He'd retire, live like immortals in the woods."
"She'd farm, weave, water the garden."
"He'd sell cakes or something."
"But he didn't expect Konoha's talents—especially me."
"He said the moment he saw me, he knew he'd lost."
"'You're a good guy,' he said. 'Can you look after my wife?'"
"I said, though we just met, fate brought us together. I'd help."
"I even offered to give him a kid."
"He was so touched, he said the kid could take his name."
"And then… he died of touched!"
Tears welled in Ebara's eyes.
No one bought his nonsense.
The Anbu snickered behind their masks.
Jiraiya and Orochimaru looked like they didn't know him.
The Third's forehead vein pulsed.
"We've got no beef. Why treat me like an idiot?" he snapped.
"It's true!" Ebara said earnestly.
"Ninja Art: Earth Flame Dragon—"
Ebara jumped. This old man was too quick to anger, fresh off beating Jiraiya (Chapter 34).
Now him?
"Alright, I made it up. Truth time," Ebara said quickly.
The Third kept his seals ready, spitting one word: "Speak!"
His tone dripped with distrust.
"Actually… I farted him to death," Ebara said slowly.
As he spoke, a vivid dragon's head rose from the floor, energy gathering in its mouth.
"It's the truth!" Ebara blurted. "But there's more. Clear the Anbu."
Seeing Ebara's panic, the Third half-believed him, canceling the jutsu. "Leave," he told the Anbu.
"Yes, sir!"
They scurried out.
"You know I had no talent in ninjutsu or taijutsu," Ebara said. "So I asked Orochimaru for some… protection."
He flashed the snakeskin suit.
"Poison?" the Third asked.
He'd suspected it, seeing Kurokawa's purple face and bleeding orifices.
Now confirmed.
"Why not just say so?" the Third grumbled.
"It's my trump card. You don't flash your underwear to everyone, do you?" Ebara shot back.
"What'd you say?"
The Third started sealing again.
Three days without a beating, and Ebara was climbing the walls.
"I mean, you don't show your trump card!" Ebara corrected. "Anyway, I'm beat. Can I go?"
"You all rest. I'll handle the rest," the Third said.
The trio bowed to leave. At the door, Ebara turned with a cheeky grin.
"Sensei, you seem cranky. Trouble in… that department? Orochimaru can whip up some meds. No shame. At your age, it's normal to… struggle."
The Third snapped.
"Fire Style: Majestic Flame!"
"Fire Style: Phoenix Fire!"
"Lightning Style: Thunder Crash!"
"Ninja Art: Earth Flame Flow!"
"Ninja Art…"