Ebara hadn't expected that his loaned books would spark Jiraiya's Make-Out Paradise.
He gave Jiraiya a thumbs-up. "Your book's gonna be a hit, just like Golden House Lover."
"You think so? Then it's guaranteed!" Jiraiya beamed.
When he first wrote Golden House Lover, Ebara had predicted its success. Jiraiya, with his novice writing, had doubted it, but it exploded in popularity.
If Ebara said it again, it had to be true.
"I've got an idea to take your book to the next level," Ebara said, grinning.
"What's that?" Jiraiya asked eagerly.
"Don't just stick to text. Add illustrations—or make it a full-on manga!" Ebara said boldly.
An illustrated or manga version of Make-Out Paradise would sell like crazy!
Jiraiya's eyes lit up. "Brilliant!"
"Come on, let's find a spot to rest and hash out the details."
"Where to?"
"The hot spring inn, of course. Perfect for… research," Jiraiya said.
Ebara and Jiraiya left, arms around each other's shoulders.
…
"Heh heh, I hear someone next door," Jiraiya said, smirking in the men's bath.
"Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
Two clones identical to him appeared, stacking up to hoist Jiraiya to the top.
"Who's it? Not another old auntie, is it?" Ebara whispered.
Jiraiya's scream answered him.
"Ahh! My eyes!"
The three Jiraiyas collapsed, the clones vanishing, leaving him writhing on the ground, rubbing his eyes.
"An old auntie after all?" Ebara cackled.
"Worse! It's Koharu Utatane!" Jiraiya wailed.
His eyes were done for the month.
Ebara shivered. "Good thing I didn't look."
"Saved my eyes."
…
"Teacher Ebara, where were you loafing this morning?" Sarutobi-sensei teased as Ebara entered the office that afternoon.
"Loafing? No time for that," Ebara said, shaking his head. "My buddy saw something he shouldn't have. Took him to get his eyes checked."
"What'd he see that bad?" Sarutobi asked, curious.
"You wanna know?"
"Of course."
"Koharu Utatane in a swimsuit."
"Pfft—your buddy's a real man!" Sarutobi said, giving a thumbs-up.
Then, suspicious, he asked, "Wait, this buddy…"
"His name's Jiraiya!" Ebara said quickly.
Peep on Koharu? He'd rather die.
"Oh," Sarutobi said, buying it.
"Alright, take a break. I covered your afternoon class," Ebara said, patting Sarutobi's shoulder.
"Was waiting for that," Sarutobi grinned.
Class time arrived, and Ebara strode into the classroom.
"Crap, my perfect day's ruined now that Teacher Ebara's here."
"Why hasn't the Sage of the Six Paths taken him away?"
"If I'm guilty, let the gods punish me, not make me Ebara's student!"
"My Ninja Academy days are done for."
Hearing the kids' whining, Ebara's forehead vein pulsed.
He slammed the desk. "What, being my students is a hardship?"
"All you do is slack off instead of studying."
"Who're you studying for? Me? It's for you!"
"If you don't study now, what'll you do later?"
"Tell me, what can you do?"
The classroom fell silent under his aura.
Just as Ebara smugly thought his scolding worked, Uchiha Mikoto drawled, "We could become Ninja Academy teachers."
Silence.
Dead silence.
Then, an explosion of laughter.
"Haha, Mikoto's savage!"
"She's the queen of burns!"
"I'm gonna die laughing."
"Look, Teacher Ebara's barely holding it together."
"He's here because he slacked off, failed as a ninja, and ended up teaching us."
"Stop, I wanna cry."
"Me too."
Ebara stood at the podium, torn between laughing and crying.
"This girl, always cutting me off."
"Enough!" he said, halting the laughter.
"No point teaching in here today. Let's go outside."
The kids cheered unanimously.
They'd rather train outdoors than endure Ebara's sleepy Will of Fire lectures.
"Today's a combat class. Pair up for sparring," Ebara announced on the training field.
The Second Ninja War was looming.
Though Konoha wasn't the main battlefield, it'd be affected.
Enemy ninjas could infiltrate anytime.
Building the kids' crisis awareness now would save them pain later.
"Minato and Shikaku, Haiichi and Dingza, Mikoto and…"
"First up, Minato and Shikaku."
Minato and Shikaku stepped forward.
Shikaku slapped his forehead. "Why'd I get you?"
Minato smiled gently. "I'll go easy."
A minute later, no surprise—Shikaku lost.
His raw strength couldn't match Minato's, and even the Nara clan's vaunted brains were only slightly ahead.
Shikaku's defeat was expected.
"Good. Next pair…"
The afternoon passed quickly.
After all the spars, Ebara shared combat tips.
Before, he lacked the experience to teach this.
But after gaining jonin-level taijutsu, it was a breeze.
At sunset, Ebara walked home.
Whoosh!
Two black-robed, masked figures appeared before him.
"Anbu?" Ebara frowned.
They didn't answer, showing a token instead. "By Lord Danzo's orders, come with us."
Ebara's frown deepened.
What was Danzo up to now?