Ebara: Bro, You're Really My Dad
"Alright then," Fugaku said. "Meet me tomorrow morning in the forest on the village's east side."
"Deal," Ebara replied, grinning.
With the plan set, Fugaku didn't linger, leaving quickly.
Under Ichiro Ginkai's resentful glare, Ebara pocketed Fugaku's 1,000 ryo.
Watching Ebara stuff the bulging, overstuffed wallet away, Ichiro wanted to strangle him.
My money! All my money!
Ebara also grabbed the bug-attracting liquid Shino had given Ichiro to smear on his wallet.
"Thanks for today," Ebara said, reluctantly parting from Ichiro. "Till we meet again."
In two lifetimes, he'd never met such a "generous" guy.
"Get lost!" Ichiro thought, throat tight, but he didn't dare say it.
He forced a smile. "Yeah, sure…"
"You're a good guy," Ebara said. "Shame you don't have a pretty wife, or I'd call you brother."
With deep regret, Ebara left.
Ichiro was left on the verge of tears.
…
"Son, congrats on striking it rich," Ebara's father said the next morning, giving him a knowing look as Ebara stumbled out of his room, half-asleep.
Ebara jolted awake. That line sounded eerily familiar.
"Don't talk nonsense," he said. "I'm so broke I'm jingling. Two-thirds of my salary goes to you. Where's the wealth?"
"Your pocket was bulging last night," his father said, pointing to his eyes. "You clutched it all the way home, scurrying to your room. Think these eyes are just for show?"
"That was a stomachache," Ebara said.
"Stomachache? Then why clutch your thigh?"
"The pain… it shot to my leg nerves, so I held my stomach."
"Oh? Then what's that bulge in your pocket?"
"Every guy knows," Ebara said, puffing his chest. "Your son's gifted, well-developed."
His father glanced down. "I've flicked that little bean sprout of yours when you were a kid."
Ebara's face flushed.
In both lives, no guy escaped the childhood embarrassment of a family member flicking their privates.
Worse, Ebara was mentally in his twenties then.
Getting flicked and laughed at? He'd wanted to die.
It was one of his rare weak spots.
"I tried living like a normal guy with you all, but all I got was distance," Ebara said grandly. "No more pretending. It's big, and I'm owning it!"
"Pfft!" His father sneered, clearly unconvinced.
"Cut the crap. Where'd you get that dirty money?" he pressed.
"I didn't get any," Ebara insisted.
"Guess your mom will have to settle this," his father said, heading for the kitchen.
Ebara panicked.
If his mom saw the money, he'd never spend it.
"Fine! After dinner, I caught a thief who begged me to take 2,000 ryo," Ebara said.
"Alright, give me 3,000, and I won't tell," his father said.
"???"
Ebara's face was a giant question mark. "You do nothing and I lose 1,000?"
"Your pocket was stuffed like a coconut. That's not 2,000!" his father said, looking at him like an idiot.
Ebara knew he was cornered.
"Fine, 3,000," he said. "But you better make sure Mom doesn't find out. And don't say it came from me."
"Of course," his father said, grinning. "You know your old man's integrity."
"Heh…" Ebara muttered.
He grabbed 3,000 ryo from his room, handing it over reluctantly. "Bro, you're really my dad."
He was completely played.
His father counted the money, beaming. "What's with the 'bro'? We're father and son."
Ebara gritted his teeth.
"Don't get mad, don't get mad. Anger brings no one to your aid," he muttered. "If I get sick from rage, he'll flirt with widows and have it made…"
…
"Shino, will we really see Teacher Ebara humiliated today?" Yamanaka Haiichi asked excitedly.
Shino pushed up his sunglasses, oozing confidence. "Of course."
Mikoto, buzzing with excitement, said, "He deserves it. Let him learn what 'social death' feels like."
"What's 'social death'?" Choza asked, confused.
"It's Teacher Ebara's term," Nara Shikaku explained. "Full name: social death. It means embarrassing yourself in public so badly you can't face anyone."
"Oh, got it," Choza nodded, then asked, "But will Teacher Ebara really feel it?"
Haiichi: "…"
Shino: "…"
Mikoto: "…"
You're such a buzzkill, you know that?
Shikaku shoved a handful of chips into Choza's mouth. "Eat your chips."
Cough cough!
Shino cleared his throat, grinning. "Just wait for the show."
Haiichi and Mikoto nodded eagerly.
"But what if Teacher Ebara figures it out and gets even later?" Shikaku asked, worried.
"Don't worry. My plan's foolproof. No way he'll trace it to us," Shino said, smirking confidently.
"I think we shouldn't mess with Teacher Ebara," a gentle voice said from behind.
It was Minato, handing out papers.
"His brain's way sharper than ours," Minato said. "Plus, I heard he was a huge troublemaker back in the day. He's not that easy to take down."
"No worries, I've got this," Shino said.
Curious, he asked, "What's that, Minato?"
"Parent notices. Teacher Ebara just gave them to me," Minato said, handing one to Shino.
The first thing Shino saw was the scrawled, ugly "Parent Notice" title.
"Teacher Ebara's handwriting is the Ninja Academy's biggest failure," Shino said. "The Inuzuka clan's ninja dogs write better."
"How's a guy like him our teacher?"
"You're insulting dogs?" an Inuzuka kid snapped, glaring. His ninja dog barked furiously.
"Woof woof!"
"Sorry, sorry," Shino said.
Time flew, and soon Ebara strode into the classroom.
A glint flashed across Shino's sunglasses. "Here we go!"