Lydia looked at him with the kind of concerned expression usually reserved for people who were having obvious mental breakdowns. "Leo, are you sure you're feeling alright? You're talking about laundry like it's a matter of life and death."
"It is a matter of life and death," Leo said, which was actually true if you considered that avoiding the main plot was essential to his continued survival as a background character. "Very serious life and death. The most serious kind of life and death."
"Magical laundry emergencies," Mark said slowly, as if he was trying to process the concept. "I'll have to research that. It sounds like a fascinating field of study."
"Please don't research it," Leo said desperately. "It's very dangerous to research. People who research magical laundry techniques often... disappear. Into... laundry-related dimensions. Very tragic. Extremely tragic."
Elena was now watching him with the kind of intense scrutiny that suggested she was beginning to suspect that his behavior was not entirely normal. "Leo, you're being very strange about this laundry situation."
"I'm always strange about laundry," Leo said, which was probably true even if it wasn't relevant to the current situation. "It's one of my many personality quirks. I have lots of quirks. Laundry-related quirks. Sock-summoning quirks. The kind of quirks that make people want to avoid spending time with me."
"Actually," Kaelen said with a smile that suggested he found Leo's increasingly desperate explanations more endearing than off-putting, "your quirks are part of what makes you interesting. I've never met anyone who was passionate about magical laundry techniques."
"I'm not passionate about them," Leo protested. "I'm just... obligated to perform them. By... laundry law. Very strict laundry law that can't be violated without serious consequences."
"Laundry law?" Lydia repeated, her expression suggesting that she was beginning to worry about Leo's mental state.
"It's a specialized legal framework," Leo explained, aware that he was now completely committed to the most ridiculous lie he had ever told. "Governing the proper treatment of magical textiles. Very complex. Extremely bureaucratic. The kind of law that requires immediate compliance or... legal action."
"What kind of legal action?" Mark asked with the kind of academic curiosity that suggested he was genuinely interested in learning about fictional legal systems.
"Sock-related prosecution," Leo said without thinking. "By the... Department of Magical Textile Enforcement. Very serious department. Extremely serious. They don't mess around when it comes to laundry violations."
Elena stared at him for a long moment, and Leo got the uncomfortable feeling that she was seeing right through his increasingly elaborate fabrication.
"Leo," she said carefully, "I don't think there is a Department of Magical Textile Enforcement."
"There is," Leo insisted, though he was beginning to suspect that his cover story had moved beyond implausible and into the realm of complete fantasy. "It's just... very secretive. Extremely secretive. So secretive that most people don't know it exists."
"A secret government department dedicated to laundry enforcement," Kaelen said thoughtfully. "That's... actually kind of brilliant. I can see how that would be necessary in a world where magical textiles could pose security risks."
Leo stared at him, amazed that the protagonist of his story was actually taking his ridiculous explanation seriously. "You... you believe me?"
"Why wouldn't I believe you?" Kaelen asked. "You've demonstrated remarkable knowledge about magical systems that most students never encounter. It makes sense that you would be involved with specialized government departments."
"It does?" Leo asked weakly.
"Of course," Lydia said with renewed enthusiasm. "You're obviously much more connected to the magical community than you let on. Secret government work would explain your mysterious knowledge and your reluctance to talk about your background."
Leo felt the walls of his carefully constructed anonymity crumbling around him. His attempt to avoid the study group had somehow resulted in his friends deciding that he was a secret government agent specializing in magical laundry enforcement.
"I'm really not a secret agent," he said desperately. "I'm just a student. A very normal, very boring student who happens to know things about... laundry."
"Modesty again," Mark said approvingly. "The mark of a true professional."
"I'm not a professional anything," Leo protested. "I'm barely competent at being a student."
"And yet," Elena observed, "you've managed to impress every professor you've encountered, demonstrate advanced magical techniques that most students can't achieve, and apparently maintain a secret career in government textile enforcement. That's quite an achievement for someone who claims to be barely competent."
Leo looked around at the group of students who were now watching him with the kind of respectful attention usually reserved for important government officials or particularly impressive magical prodigies.
---
[New Achievement Unlocked: Accidental Secret Agent]
• Description: You've convinced your friends that you're a government operative specializing in magical laundry enforcement. This is either impressive or deeply concerning.
• Reward: Increased respect from your peer group and a reputation for mysterious competence.
• Side Effect: People will now expect you to know things about government operations and magical security protocols.
---
"This is a disaster," Leo muttered.
"What was that?" Kaelen asked.
"I said... this is... a master... class in... laundry techniques," Leo said, his voice cracking slightly. "Very educational. Extremely educational."
"Well," Kaelen said with the kind of understanding smile that suggested he thought Leo was being modest about his government work, "we certainly don't want to interfere with your official duties. Perhaps we can reschedule our study group for another time?"
"That would be... great," Leo said, relief flooding through him as he realized he had somehow managed to avoid the impending plot development. "Very great. Extremely great."
"Excellent," Lydia said cheerfully. "We'll let you get back to your... textile enforcement duties."
As Leo watched his friends walk away toward the library, he felt a mixture of relief and growing dread. He had successfully avoided one plot development, but he had also somehow convinced the main characters that he was a secret government agent with specialized knowledge of magical security protocols.
"Well," said Sir Reginald from his pocket, "that was certainly creative. I particularly enjoyed the part about sock summoning. Very imaginative."
"This is getting out of hand," Leo said quietly. "I'm supposed to be a background character, not a mysterious government operative with a secret career in laundry enforcement."
"Perhaps," Sir Reginald suggested, "you should consider the possibility that being a background character simply isn't working out for you."
Leo looked back toward the library, where he knew his friends were probably discussing his mysterious government connections and speculating about the nature of his secret work.
---
[New Quest Issued: Maintain Your Cover Story]
• Description: You've accidentally convinced everyone that you're a secret agent. Try to maintain this fiction without actually having to do any secret agent work.
• Reward: Continued friendship with the main characters and the respect that comes with being mysteriously important.
• Failure Penalty: Having to explain why you lied about being a government laundry enforcement specialist.
---
"I think," Leo said to Sir Reginald, "I need to find a completely different approach to this whole situation."
"What kind of approach?" the pixie asked.
Leo considered this for a moment, then sighed. "I have absolutely no idea. But it has to be better than convincing people that I'm a secret agent who specializes in magical sock summoning."
"One would hope," Sir Reginald agreed. "Though I have to admit, your creativity in desperate situations is quite impressive. Not many people could have invented an entire government department on the spot."
Leo groaned. "That's not a skill I wanted to develop."
"Nevertheless," Sir Reginald said philosophically, "it's a skill you seem to possess. Perhaps you should consider how to use it more constructively."
As Leo made his way back to his dormitory, he couldn't help but reflect on how thoroughly his simple plan for anonymity had failed.
In less than a week, he had become the academy's most celebrated magical prodigy, saved a princess from assassination, and convinced his friends that he was a secret government operative.
His life as a background character was, he suspected, officially over.
The question now was what kind of character he was going to become instead.