Leo turned to see Kaelen approaching, his silver hair still damp from his impromptu fountain bath and his dignity somewhat restored, though his uniform was still dripping wet.
The protagonist of Leo's novel looked exactly as he had been described: tall, handsome, and possessed of the kind of natural charisma that made people want to follow him into battle or at least buy him drinks.
He also looked deeply suspicious.
"Kaelen Brightblade," he said, extending his hand with the kind of firm grip that suggested he was used to making good first impressions. "I wanted to thank you for your... assistance with the golem situation."
Leo shook his hand, trying not to wince at the grip strength. "Leo Vance. And really, no thanks necessary. You had everything under control."
Kaelen's perfect eyebrows rose slightly. "Under control? I was face-down in a fountain while you were defeating the golem with cleaning supplies. I'm not sure 'under control' is the phrase I would use."
"You were... strategically repositioning," Leo offered. "Creating a distraction. Very heroic."
"A distraction," Kaelen repeated, his tone carefully neutral. "By falling into a fountain."
"It worked, didn't it?" Leo said desperately. "The golem was completely distracted by your... tactical fountain maneuver. That's what gave me the opening I needed to throw the bucket."
Kaelen stared at him for a moment, and Leo got the uncomfortable feeling that the protagonist was trying to figure out whether he was being mocked or genuinely complimented. "That's... an interesting interpretation of events."
"I'm very good at interpreting events," Leo said, adding it to his growing list of fictional talents. "It's another one of my many skills."
"Along with guessing the weaknesses of magical constructs and being in the right place at the right time with cleaning supplies," Captain Steele added helpfully.
"Exactly," Leo said, then realized that listing all his supposed talents was probably making him sound even more suspicious. "I mean, not exactly. I mean... I should probably go. Somewhere. Away from here. To do... things."
"What kind of things?" Kaelen asked, his blue eyes sharp with interest.
"Normal things," Leo said, backing away slowly. "Boring things. The kind of things that definitely don't involve any more golem-fighting or bucket-throwing or accidentally being heroic."
"Accidentally heroic," Kaelen mused. "That's an interesting phrase."
Leo was saved from having to explain his accidental heroism by the arrival of Professor Aldric, who bustled over with the kind of frantic energy that suggested he was still trying to process what had just happened to his carefully planned demonstration.
"Mr. Vance!" the professor called out, his beard quivering with excitement. "Extraordinary work! Simply extraordinary! I must ask, what gave you the insight to target the control matrix? Have you studied construct theory? Golem engineering? The principles of runic disruption?"
"I read a lot," Leo said weakly, which was technically true, even if most of what he read was his own terrible writing.
"Fascinating! You must tell me more about your research methods. The way you identified the vulnerability so quickly suggests a deep understanding of magical construct theory that goes far beyond what we teach in the standard curriculum."
Leo felt the walls closing in around him. Every question led to more questions, and every answer he gave seemed to make him sound more impressive rather than less. At this rate, he would be teaching advanced golem studies by the end of the week.
"I really should go," he said, his voice reaching new heights of desperation. "I have... studying to do. Very boring studying. About very boring subjects that definitely don't involve magical constructs or their weaknesses."
"Of course, of course," Professor Aldric said, though his eyes gleamed with the kind of academic fervor that suggested this conversation was far from over. "But we must discuss this further. Perhaps over tea? I have so many questions about your methodology."
"Tea sounds... terrifying," Leo said honestly. "I mean, lovely. Tea sounds lovely. But I really must..."
He was interrupted by a commotion near the fountain, where a group of students had gathered around something that was making them point and whisper excitedly.
"What's that about?" Captain Steele asked, her professional instincts clearly kicking in.
Leo followed her gaze and felt his heart sink. The students were clustered around the base of the fountain, where the water from his bucket had mixed with the fountain's contents to create a small puddle. And in that puddle, clearly visible to anyone who cared to look, were tiny footprints.
Very tiny footprints. The kind that might be made by a two-inch-tall knight in full armor.
"Oh no," Leo whispered.
"What was that?" Kaelen asked, moving closer.
"Nothing," Leo said quickly, edging toward the crowd of students. "Just... admiring the fountain. Beautiful craftsmanship. Very... wet."
But it was too late. One of the students, the purple-haired girl who had been so enthusiastic about his bucket-throwing skills, was pointing at the tiny footprints with the kind of excitement usually reserved for major archaeological discoveries.
"Look at these!" she exclaimed. "They're so small! And they look like little boot prints! Do you think they're fairy tracks?"
"Pixie," corrected the mustached boy with the air of someone who took his magical creature identification very seriously. "Definitely pixie. You can tell by the heel-to-toe ratio."
Leo felt Sir Reginald shift indignantly in his pocket. The tiny knight was probably preparing to emerge and correct their classification of his footwear, which would create exactly the kind of scene that Leo was desperately trying to avoid.
"Fascinating," said Professor Aldric, kneeling down to examine the prints more closely. "I haven't seen pixie tracks in the academy grounds for years. They usually avoid areas with heavy magical activity."
"Unless," said Captain Steele thoughtfully, "they were brought here by someone."
All eyes turned to Leo, who felt his carefully constructed anonymity crumbling around him like a house of cards in a hurricane.
"I wouldn't know anything about that," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "I'm not really a pixie person. More of a... large creature person. Human-sized creatures. Normal-sized creatures."
"Hmm," said Kaelen, his perfect features arranged in an expression of thoughtful consideration. "You know, Leo, you're turning out to be quite an interesting person."
Leo's eye twitched again. "I'm really not," he said desperately. "I'm the least interesting person you'll ever meet. I'm so boring that watching paint dry is more exciting than talking to me."
"And yet," Kaelen continued, "you defeat golems with cleaning supplies, you seem to know things about magical constructs that most professors don't, and now there are pixie tracks appearing wherever you go. That's quite a coincidence."
"I love coincidences," Leo said weakly. "They're my favorite kind of... dences."
The crowd was growing larger, drawn by the excitement of the golem incident and the mystery of the tiny footprints. Leo could see his carefully planned life of obscurity disappearing before his eyes, replaced by the kind of attention that would make it impossible to hide in the background of anyone's story.
----
[New Achievement Unlocked: Reluctant Celebrity]
• Description: You've become famous against your will. This is the opposite of what you wanted, but the universe has a sense of humor.
• Reward: Increased social interaction requirements and a significant reduction in personal privacy.
• Side Effect: Your attempts to be boring will now be interpreted as mysterious and intriguing.
---
"I think," Leo said quietly to himself, "I need a much better plan."
From his pocket, Sir Reginald's muffled voice provided the kind of helpful commentary that Leo was beginning to expect from his tiny companion. "Perhaps your next plan should involve accepting that you're terrible at being inconspicuous. It's clearly not one of your many talents."
Leo sighed. It was definitely going to be a very long day.