Yukinoshita stood with a mountain of Mr. Panda plushies piled high in her arms, her expression deeply troubled. She wanted every single one, but there was simply no way she could carry them all. Reluctantly, she would have to leave some behind.
It was then that her eyes fell upon Masao, and a thoughtful gleam flickered in her eyes.
Ten minutes later…
Masao trailed behind the bustling group of girls, his arms laden with a forest of shopping bags.
As everyone knows, only two things can halt a woman on a shopping spree: an empty wallet, or a lack of hands to hold her purchases.
Most of these young ladies came from comfortably well-off families, and now, with Masao as their designated pack mule…
Logically, the items he carried weren't particularly heavy, yet for some reason, Masao felt utterly drained, his legs as heavy as lead.
"Everyone, can we take a break?" he pleaded, his voice strained. "I'm at my limit."
The moment the words left his mouth, another shopping bag was draped over his wrist.
"I really can't take any more."
Another bag swung from his forearm.
"I've hit my limit."
Yet another bag found a precarious perch.
"I—"
This time, before he could even form a proper protest, his mouth was stuffed with a large, soft, and steaming bun.
Chika giggled. "Here, a reward for our hard-working Masao-kun."
The bun effectively silenced him.
'I'll complain after I finish this… but wow, this is delicious. Can I have another?'
Chika seemed to be the only one with buns, but perhaps feeling a twinge of guilt for their reliance on him, Yukinoshita also produced a cream puff she had bought and stuffed it into his mouth.
'A mere cream puff...it's actually pretty good'
It was as if a strange switch had been flipped. To show their appreciation, the girls began taking turns feeding him.
A sandwich cookie... a matcha daifuku... the crust from a red bean bun...
'...Wait, bread crust?!''
Masao suddenly snapped back to reality, chewing on the slightly tough piece of bread. It was tasty enough, but who was being so half-hearted with his reward?
He looked. Of course. It was that little devil, Jahy.
He decided not to make a fuss. After all, Jahy had only bought snacks and hadn't burdened him with any merchandise, so the fact that she was sharing her crust with him at all was a sign of Jahy-sama's great magnanimity.
Another ten minutes passed.
"I c-can't… no more," Masao gasped, feeling his stomach was on the verge of bursting. He couldn't eat another bite.
Hearing this, Chika pouted.
"Masao-kouhai, you're so fragile! You're saying you 'can't go on' again? That's the second time you've said you're 'not up to it' in such a short while!"
"That's right, Masao-kun," Yukinoshita chimed in. "As a boy, you should be more resilient. You shouldn't be so quick to announce your… inadequacy."
Masao rolled his eyes. "Hah. And you have the nerve to say that. You're having all the fun, while I'm doing all the work."
Chika and Yukinoshita showed not a shred of guilt.
"Masao-kouhai, you don't understand," Chika explained sagely. "Selecting souvenirs is also very hard work."
"Shopping is a complex process," Yukinoshita continued seamlessly. "All Masao-kun has to do is follow along and carry things. Meanwhile, we have to consider much more: which item we prefer, which one represents a better value…"
Armed with this flawed logic, they dragged a beleaguered Masao for another round of shopping. They didn't stop until they had visited every single shop in the area.
—
Masao collapsed onto a bench at the zoo, plopping down with a thud. He stared blankly at the sky, his eyes devoid of light.
'Is there anything more terrifying than accompanying a woman on a shopping trip?
Yes. Accompanying a group of women.'
'Is there something even more terrifying than that?'
'Yes. Accompanying a group of women with money.'
Their collective purchasing power was a force to be reckoned with.
In contrast to the near-corpse that was Masao, the others were still brimming with energy.
Jahy, for instance, her stomach bulging contentedly, was resting with her head pillowed in Yukinoshita's lap.
Chika was happily showing off her purchases to anyone who would look.
Kaguya was secretly looking at the real Mr.Panda, while Hayasaka Ai watched over her from a short distance away…
For a moment, Masao felt a sense of peaceful contentment. He could almost wish for this quiet, happy moment to last forever…
'…Yeah, right.'
They were all comfortable and satisfied, while he, who had contributed so much blood, sweat, and calories, was completely forgotten.
Masao coughed deliberately, drawing the others' attention.
"Does everyone know where pandas originally come from?"
Chika, for once feeling intellectually superior, answered proudly. "Really, Masao-kouhai, you don't know? They're from China."
Masao nodded. "That's right, they're from China. But did you know that the pandas in China look different from the ones we see here?"
This piqued everyone's curiosity.
Yukinoshita looked puzzled. "All pandas in the world originate from China. Logically, they should all look the same."
Chika, however, seemed to have a sudden idea.
"Do you mean… the pandas in China know kung fu?!" she exclaimed, striking a wobbly martial arts pose.
Masao shook his head. "No, no. I'm talking about their appearance."
This stumped Chika. She'd never heard anything about that.
"Want to see? I have a picture on my phone."
"Yes, yes! Show me!" Chika's eyes sparkled as she leaned in eagerly.
Masao stopped her. "But before you look, there's a little ritual you have to do."
"What ritual?"
"You need to take a mouthful of water and hold it in your mouth."
Chika tilted her head, thoroughly confused. "What a strange ritual."
Without suspecting a thing, she took a sip of her fruit tea, puffing her cheeks out like a chipmunk. She blinked her large, innocent eyes, urging him to hurry up.
Seeing that she was ready, Masao smiled and pulled up the panda picture he had prepared.
It was the "Angry African Panda" meme.
The moment the image appeared, Chika's eyes widened in shock.
A split second later, she spat the entire mouthful of water out in a spray.
Fortunately, Masao had been prepared; he snatched his phone back just in time, avoiding a direct hit.
Chika coughed, catching her breath, and shot him a resentful look.
"W-What kind of panda is that?! It's so weird!" She wasn't stupid; she could tell it wasn't a real panda but an absurd meme.
"I think it's pretty funny," Masao said with a grin. "And besides, you can't say it's not a panda, can you?"
"Hmph!"
Seeing Chika's reaction, the others grew curious about what Masao had shown her.
Masao declared that anyone who wanted to see must first take the "ritual" mouthful of water.
Fujiwara Moeha thought about it. Her sister probably just wasn't prepared. If she was mentally braced for it, she would be fine.
Then… Fujiwara Moeha also spat out her water.
When the others asked the sisters what they had seen, both chose to remain mysteriously silent, telling them to see for themselves.
Shirogane Kei, her curiosity piqued, accepted the challenge.
Shirogane Kei failed the challenge.
The next to step forward was Jahy.
Jahy failed the challenge.
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