Zhu Fan sat on the seat in the pavillion.
On the table, the chessboard sat open.
The position was the game he had played with Old Bai.
The sun had already set, and the moon had taken its place. The world bathed in the pale moonlight, and everything was completely quiet.
From the cliff, one could see the lights flickering in the cities below.
At night, the world was asleep, mortals, immortals, spirits, and even demons.
Zhu Fan looked down at the world below. Even at night, there was just something about it that seemed so... busy.
He stared at the board for a long while, then recounted every move that they had played.
Zhu Fan was no mortal, having reached the peak, and having refined his body and mind countless times. He had memory far beyond that of ordinary people.
Every move he recounted, his eyebrows creased a bit more.
The teacup sat next to the board, the tea inside had long gone cold.
Even though Yi Lan had refilled the cup after the game, Zhu Fan was so busy going over the last game that he didn't even notice the tea.
For every move he had played, Old Bai had countered with an equally great move. Until the very end, no one had the advantage.
That is, until Zhu Fan looked a bit closer.
While Old Bai had made great moves, there were so many better moves he could have played.
He could have easily beaten Zhu Fan.
As Zhu Fan finished going over there game, he sighed. Looking at the clouds again, he muttered to himself.
"You were the better player, but you were just good at hiding it."
Zhu Fan had a very weird habit.
Whenever something troubled his mind, or made him think a lot, he would instinctively look at the clouds.
Even when he was a mortal, just starting out on his cultivation journey, he would occasionally look at the clouds floating by.
Sometimes, looking at the clouds and thinking about his path, he had even had epiphanies and broken through bottlenecks.
While Zhu Fan himself never noticed this habit, those around him could see it very clearly.
Zhu Fan was the type of person to prefer the peace and quiet of being alone, than the chaos of making a lot of friends.
Watching Zhu Fan look at the clouds, Yi Lan walked up to the pavilion, wanting to ask his advice on a technique.
But as she reached him, he suddenly asked her a question.
"Isn't it strange? How quiet the world becomes when someone leaves?"
Yi Lan looked at him, she hadn't expected such a question at this time.
"... But isn't that peace, Master?"
Zhu Fan smiled and took a sip of his tea.
"Peace and Silence aren't the same thing, child."
Although Yi Lan had become a cultivator, and already reached the Golden Core stage, in the end, she was still a mortal.
To someone like her, silence was peace. Being away from everyone else was a kind of peace.
To mortals, death is a natural part of life. People they love and care for will die, and they too will die someday.
But for Zhu Fan, all he could do was watch as everyone around him grew old and die.
Zhu Fan had accepted his fate, because power has a price.
To him, being the strongest meant that he would outlive everything, as such, he had no need to commit evil or to rule over the world.
"Everything in this world will die someday, but I will live forever. That is my punishment."
People said the Great Sage could control the heavenly Dao, and change the world as he wanted.
But he himself was subject to the laws of the world, just in a different way than most.
Yi Lan looked at his face, her master had this tendency to randomly start thinking about the world and existence itself.
He called it,
"An old man's way of passing the time."
She called it,
"Comprehending the Dao."
Seeing him slip into the trance-like state, she asked him a question.
It was a naïve question by an innocent mind.
"Master, do people fear death?"
And that innocent question made Zhu Fan stop. He didn't face her, and he didn't say anything.
For a moment, he looked towards the clouds again.
Then, he turned to her and said,
"People do fear death, disciple. But not for the reason that they think."
Yi Lan also looked towards the clouds, but the confusion was clear on her face.
"Not for the reason they think? Then...why?"
It was such a simple question, just 'why?'
But the answer was anything but simple.
Zhu Fan looked at her confusion, and smiled. Instead of answering her question directly, he asked his own question.
"People cry when a loved one dies, why is that?"
Yi Lan thought for a moment, then replied.
"Because... When a loved one dies, people that care about them are sad. And they cry because they are sad."
"And why are they sad?"
To that question, Yi Lan looked at him with a hint of surprise.
Seeing her expression, Zhu Fan laughed to himself, then said.
"People cry when they are sad, yes. But they don't cry just because they are sad. They cry because they fear that they will forget the person who died."
Yi Lan just stared at him for a moment.
Then, Zhu Fan continued.
But this time, the words he spoke felt different, as if they came from experience rather than understanding.
"People die twice. Once when their soul walks the path of reincarnation, and once when they are forgotten."
Yi Lan tilted her head a bit, and looked at the clouds.
"But..."
But Zhu Fan smiled at her, and spoke again.
"People think that they fear death. They think they fear the pain, they think they fear the loss, they think they fear being seperated from their loved ones."
"But... Isn't that really what they fear? The pain of dying, the loss of a loved one, being seperated forever?"
Zhu Fan chuckled.
"No... It's not."
He picked up his tea cup and took a sip.
Seeing the almost empty cup, Yi Lan heated up some tea and poured in some more.
Zhu Fan sighed faintly, the scent of the tea calmed him down.
He took a breath, and continued.
"People don't fear dying, they fear not knowing what comes after they die."
Yi Lan just stared at him, she couldn't really make sense of his words, but she had a feeling that the words he spoke held a deeper meaning than just things he had observed.
They felt more like words that he'd lived through, understood in the deepest sense.
A gentle wind flowed through the garden peach garden, the branches rustled slightly.
Zhu Fan didn't smile or laugh, his face glowed with just a hint of melancholy.
"Some things aren't meant to be understood, they're meant to be experienced. That's why the heavens veil the truth."
She wanted to say something, but she couldn't bring herself to utter anything. His words didn't make sense.
"People don't fear death...but not knowing what's after it?"
She muttered, but she still couldn't make any sense of it.
Seeing her child-like innocence, Zhu Fan smiled once more.
Recalling a conversation with an old friend, he spoke.
"Bai once told me he'd rather be a fool and fear the unknown, than be a sage and fear what he already knows..."
As he spoke, his eyes landed on the chessboard, and on the seat directly opposite to him.
The pieces were arranged just like when their game had ended, but during his conversation with Yi Lan, the wind had knocked down the two kings.
Zhu Fan didn't correct the pieces, but just looked at them for a moment.
It was Bai who died, but in the end, he died happy. Then why, why was Zhu Fan feeling this suffocation in his heart?
Was it pain? No. It was something else, something he had lost long after becoming immortal.
It was the ability to cry.
After becoming immortal, he had come to terms with his existence. Outliving everything, watching all his loved ones die around him. It had long since made him forget how to feel pain, how to cry.
But now, realising that his best friend was gone. That there was no longer anyone who would bother him for a rematch in chess every time he won. It made him remember those feelings.
A quiet tear streamed down his face.
Yi Lan looked at him, and she stayed quiet.
She had seen her Master do a lot of things, gardening, taking care of pets, and calling even teapots and teacups his friends.
But she had never once seen her master cry.
A person like him, full of wisdom and knowledge. An ancient cultivator who had lived for millennia.
Someone like him was actually crying?
Then, Zhu Fan turned to her with a smile on his face. While he was sad about his friend's death, he already this would happen someday.
As he turned towards her, his words became a bit shaky, perhaps from crying, perhaps from pain.
"We cultivate to defy death, but what truly lies beyond that gate? Some say it is reincarnation, that it is judgement for our actions. But is that truly it? Is existence truly just an endless cycle of life and death?"
Yi Lan spoke, her own words quieter than before.
"Everyone knows it's reincarnation. That's why past lives can affect who we are in this life, right?"
Zhu Fan smiled again, and with a hint of uncertainty, he asked her.
"Reincarnation isn't what lies after death. It's what happens after it. What lies between death and reincarnation is a mystery."
He took another sip of tea, and looked again at the chessboard. With one hand, he lifted both kings and set them aside.
"What truly lies between death and reincarnation? Is it an endless void, an indescribable pleasure. Or something else? No one knows. And that's the biggest mercy."
Yi Lan immediately turned towards him.
"It's a mercy? How? Not knowing what lies between death and reincarnation isn't a mercy, right?"
Zhu Fan smiled, he knew what he was about to say was something that a child like her couldn't understand. But he hoped that these words would help her someday.
"Death isn't a question, disciple. It's an eventuality. It comes for all..."
He looked at the clouds, and then looked at the pond in the garden. The moonlight reflected on the surface, shivering under the blowing wind.
"Not knowing what comes after it is a mercy, because it gives us something to fear. Death is an eventuality, and fearing our ignorance stops us from despairing over its nature."
Yi Lan just blinked.
"So, if death comes for all, shouldn't we live well before it comes for us?"
Zhu Fan smiled at her words, and looked at the clouds one last time.
"Such wise words..."
As he was about to continue. A sound came from Ao Bai, who was lying in the pond.
"Yi Lan, come here. Let's have a flight around the world."
Zhu Fan looked at the fat dragon, and Yi Lan excitedly ran towards it.
Because of the bond between master and pet, the two could converse freely with their thoughts.
As Zhu Fan asked him why he took Yi Lan away, Ao Bai replied in his mind.
"She's still too young to talk about death and immortality with you. Let her enjoy her life as she is, and don't burden her with those experiences of yours."
Zhu Fan smiled at the fat dragon. While it was fat, it was also wise.
Then, he looked at Yi Lan, who has already gotten on the fat dragon's back, and reminded her.
"Remember, disciple. While the death of a loved one is sad, it shouldn't stop you from enjoying your own life."
Yi Lan looked back at him, and smiled.
"I'll keep it in mind, master!"
Ao Bai looked at Zhu Fan, and said.
"We'll be back before dinner!"