"Huh—?!"
Bai Ming stared, utterly bewildred. The diminutive genius before her was actually proposing she stay?
Wait a minute! This has to be a trap! There's no way it's that simple!
It seemed Herta had already predicted this reaction. She folded her arms over her decidedly non-existent chest and fixed Bai Ming with a piercing gaze.
"Brat," she stated flatly. "If my calculations are correct, your current processing thread is: 'This individual has ulterior motives.' Am I right?"
"Huh?!" Bai Ming's jaw nearly dropped. "How did you—?"
"Hmph." Herta gave a dismissive flick of her hair. "I've encountered countless units with your profile. Deficient in data, yet recklessly high in confidence." Her eyes remained locked on Bai Ming's torso. "The inevitable outcome is a logical failure and system humiliation."
"…"
Herta possessed a masterful talent for uttering the most irritating truths. The supreme aggravation was the sheer, unassailable accuracy of it all! Every statement was engineered to leave zero room for rebuttal!
Damn it! Is this the final boss form of a 'bratty girl' archetype?! Has her power level already achieved 'Mega Evolution'?!
"Whatever. My parameters are set to 'magnanimous' today; I won't log this insubordination." Herta planted her hands on her hips, her posture radiating a dominance that completely defied her physical scale. "I will articulate my proposition clearly. Regarding you—"
"Regarding me?"
"Affirmative." Herta nodded once. "I have designated you a high-priority research subject."
"A... research subject?" A wave of trepidation washed over Bai Ming. Her imagination conjured a flood of... highly unorthodox scenarios. To be specific, they leaned heavily towards certain roleplays.
Herta's subsequent declaration promptly confirmed Bai Ming's most lurid suspicions.
"My primary objective is to strip you completely, secure you to a sterile examination table in a supine position, limbs restrained." she announced, her tone as clinical as if she were reading a equipment manual. "I will then conduct a millimeter-by-millimeter analysis of your epidermal layer and every follicular unit. Until my curiosity is satisfied, all your encrypted data will be decrypted and displayed on my— Hey, brat, why is your biosignature spiking like that?"
"Because that sounds incredibly suggestive..." Bai Ming mumbled, her cheeks flushing a faint pink. "And also... weirdly thrilling...?" Her eyes suddenly lit up with a new, tangential query. "Wait! Since you have a whole inventory of puppet bodies, do you have one with green hair?! Could you activate that model for this?!"
"…" Herta turned a utterly deadpan look toward Himeko. "Confirm your earlier diagnostic. Are you certain the impact was localized to the facial region, and did not involve a full cognitive core reset? Her processing threads appear fundamentally corrupted."
"My, my." Himeko chuckled behind her hand, a warm, amused glint in her eyes. "But isn't that part of her unique charm?"
"…" Herta brought a hand to her forehead. "You've been compromised by the anomalous data stream. It seems this unit's contamination protocol is more effective than projected." She paused, her expression shifting to one of analytical curiosity. "This pattern is familiar. Is her behavioral matrix similar to your March 7th? In that case…"
The moment March 7th's name was uttered, Bai Ming—who had been mentally drafting a script for the examination table scenario—snapped back to full alertness with a boot-up speed that would put a quantum computer to shame.
"What about March?!" she demanded instantly, latching onto Himeko's arm. "What did you do to her?! Did you strap her to a table too?! Why wasn't I invited?!"
"Little Bai Ming, easy now." Himeko gently pried Bai Ming's fingers loose, her shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. "They were merely standard-issue physiological scans."
"Oh, that reminds me, I don't believe I've mentioned it before..." Himeko added soothingly. "When we first discovered little March, she was cryogenically preserved within a block of ice. Undergoing examinations at a facility like this is standard procedure for such unique circumstances, you see?"
"Ah, I see..." The new data regarding March 7th successfully overrode Bai Ming's agitation, allowing her systems to calm. "My apologies. I experienced a momentary system override."
"It's perfectly understandable." Himeko patted Bai Ming's shoulder reassuringly. "An elevated response to stimuli concerning a designated 'precious person' is a standard, healthy emotional reaction. I comprehend the underlying variables."
"Miss Himeko..." Bai Ming clasped Himeko's hand, her eyes shining with the luminosity of twin binary stars. "Please marry me! A woman of your exceptional quality must not be left on the open market!"
Ahem! Herta's loud, artificial cough was a clear signal of critical displeasure.
"You malfunctioning scrap-heap! With such negligible chest-mounted hardware, what corrupted data packets are clogging your central processor? If my interest in you weren't currently peaking, I'd have you ejected from the nearest airlock!" She narrowed her eyes, a dangerous glint within them. "Precisely. A specimen like you belongs on my examination slab. Do you not concur, Himeko?"
"I'm afraid that isn't my decision to make." Himeko gently extracted her hand from Bai Ming's grasp and began neatly tidying Bai Ming's sleep-tousled hair. "The choice ultimately resides with Bai Ming herself…"
"Well then." Herta's focus snapped back to Bai Ming. "Brat. State your terms."
Bai Ming's brow furrowed in calculation. After a moment's processing, she ventured, "What's the proposed compensation? Per cycle?"
"You're initiating a salary negotiation?" Herta's eyebrow arched in what might have been respect. "You possess a rudimentary grasp of economics, brat. Very well. State your desired figure."
"Hmm…" The Cautious Transmigrator, Bai Ming, performed a quick risk-reward analysis before slowly raising her hand, fingers forming the number '8'. "I require a minimum of this many units!"
"Oh? Eight billion Credits? I anticipated a more extravagant demand." Herta shrugged, as if discussing trivial pocket change. "Inform Asta. Tell her I authorized the expenditure. She will provision you."
"Huh—?!" Bai Ming's hands flew up in a panicked 'X'. "Not eight billion! My initial query was for eight hundred thousand!"
"Eight hundred thousand?!" Herta let out a short, sharp bark of laughter. "Your self-assessed value is equivalent to two premium beverages? How pathetically undervalued!"
"…" Yet another critical hit. Bai Ming opened her mouth to protest, then wisely decided that silence was the optimal path to avoiding further system damage. Upon deeper reflection… Herta's casual reference to Asta's financial tier suggested a profound disconnect from mundane economic scales.
"Don't tease her too relentlessly," Himeko chided gently.
Herta remained unswayed. "My interest is currently the dominant variable, therefore I will indulge her. She contains a Stellaron! The research potential is immense! You should be expressing gratitude! My personal attention is a resource the Interastral Peace Corporation could not acquire with their entire treasury!"
"That is an undeniable fact." Himeko nodded, smiling at Bai Ming. "This is an unprecedented event. I have never witnessed Herta so determined to secure someone's presence on her station."
"Query: Clarify your statement!" Herta raised a hand, halting Himeko. "The parameters are temporary—until my research concludes, or my interest depletes to sub-critical levels. At which point, the brat will be promptly decommissioned from the premises." She glanced back at Bai Ming, a flicker of something unreadable in her eyes. "Naturally, should she prove to be a perpetual source of fascinating data, I may recalibrate my long-term plans."
"Is that my only available path?" Bai Ming asked, a note of desperation creeping in.
"Of course not." Himeko's smile was a warm, welcoming beacon. "As I believe I've previously stated, I am the navigator of the Astral Express. It is currently docked here. Should you wish it, you may join our crew. We can depart once the platform repairs are complete."
"Hey, hey, hey!" Herta's glare could have melted hull plating. "Himeko. Are you attempting to poach my designated test subject?"
"This isn't a matter of 'poaching'." Himeko's smile remained serene yet firm. "We must respect little Bai Ming's autonomy, must we not?"
"What weight does a brat's preference carry?" Herta grumbled, but her gaze, along with Himeko's, remained fixed on Bai Ming, awaiting the verdict.
Bai Ming's response was instantaneous, requiring no processing time.
"Is there even a logical comparison? The optimal selection is clearly Miss Hi—"
The sentence was abruptly terminated as Herta, her audio sensors firing at maximum sensitivity, crossed the distance in three swift steps, stood on her toes, and firmly clamped a hand over Bai Ming's mouth.
"I am invoking priority access for a private debriefing," Herta announced to Himeko, already physically maneuvering Bai Ming away. "Your presence is no longer required!"
"My, my…" Himeko watched the spectacle of Bai Ming being forcibly escorted away, a soft, knowing smile gracing her lips. She settled back into the plush sofa, bringing her coffee cup to her lips. She appeared to be savoring the quiet moment. More precisely, she was replaying Bai Ming's earlier declaration.
A 'woman of exceptional quality'...
That is a novel and rather delightful evaluation.
---
After being unceremoniously dragged a significant distance down a sterile corridor, Bai Ming finally executed an emergency halt, digging her heels in.
"What is your malfunction?!" Bai Ming complained, rubbing her sore arm. "My structural integrity is being compromised by this manhandling!"
"The fault lies with your core programming!" Herta retorted, her volume and ferocity dialed even higher.
Bai Ming's system registered a 'File Not Found' error. "What... did I do?"
"You lack the processing power to self-diagnose?" Herta's hands returned to her hips. "Confirmation: you are a clearance-rack commodity valued at a mere 800k Credits."
"Well..." Bai Ming's face flushed with heat. "I lacked the contextual data for accurate valuation! What conclusive evidence does that provide?!"
"It provides conclusive evidence that you fail to comprehend fundamental economic axioms!" Herta immediately pinpointed the logical flaw. "Does that not sufficiently demonstrate your profound operational deficiencies?"
"…" System Shutdown. Herta had achieved a flawless victory in the art of psychological combat.
"So you dragged me here solely to reiterate my market price?"
"Negative!" Herta's reply was immediate and sharp. "A separate, more critical anomaly has been detected!"
"Define 'anomaly'."
"It pertains to..." Herta glanced back the way they came. The authority of the genuine Station Master ensured their privacy was absolute. They were in a secure, isolated node.
"You brat! You allocated zero processing cycles before selecting Himeko's proposal! Explain this instantaneous decision-making!"
"…"
The ambient noise floor dropped to absolute zero. The sound of a cosmic dust mote settling would have been deafening.
The silence was shattered moments later.
"PFFFT— AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Bai Ming doubled over, howling with laughter, one hand slapping the polished floor in rhythmic thumps.
"So that's the corrupted data causing your system errors?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Herta's composure cracked, her face flushing. "Cease your irrational audio emissions! Identify the humorous variable! Designate the specific parameters where Himeko's specifications exceed my own! If you cannot compile a list, terminate your laughter immediately!"
"…"
The command cut through Bai Ming's hysterics. She straightened up, wiped a tear from her eye, and assumed a posture of mock solemnity.
"You truly wish to execute this comparison?" Bai Ming asked, her gaze intense.
"Affirmative. Provide the dataset." Herta's response held no hesitation.
"Compiling list now!" Bai Ming held up both hands, all ten digits extended. "I have identified ten distinct categories of superiority!"
"Ten categories?!" Herta's eyes widened in genuine processing shock. "The probability of that is statistically negligible!"
"Prepare your auditory sensors." Bai Ming folded down her right thumb. "Point One: I have accumulated significantly more runtime with Miss Himeko than with you. This is Advantage One!"
Right index finger. "Point Two: Your primary function regarding me is ' experimentation'. Miss Himeko's function is 'companionship'. Advantage Two!"
Right middle finger. "Point Three: The Space Station is a static location. The Astral Express offers dynamic traversal of the star rails. Advantage Three!"
Right ring finger. "Point Four: Your presence here is conditional and subject to your whims. Miss Himeko's connection to the Express is integral and permanent. Advantage Four!"
Right pinky. "Point Five: March 7th's default location is the Express, not this station. Advantage Five!"
She switched to her left hand, folding the thumb. "Point Six: Miss Himeko's interaction protocols are calibrated to 'Gentle/Nurturing'. Yours are set to 'Abrasive/Illogical'. Advantage Six."
Left index finger. "Point Seven: Miss Himeko's financial reserves are self-contained. You appear to operate on a subsidiary account under Asta's authority. Advantage Seven."
Left middle finger. "Point Eight: Her chassis features a distinctive crimson aesthetic. Yours does not. Advantage Eight."
Left ring finger. "Point Nine: She utilizes the designated identifier 'Little Bai Ming'. You utilize the derogatory tags 'Brat' and 'flat chest'! Advantage Nine!"
Left pinky. "And Point Ten! The most critical advantage of all!" Bai Ming leaned forward, her voice dropping to a dramatic whisper. "Miss Himeko's chest unit is composed of soft, compliant material! Your current chassis is equipped with a flat, unyielding plate! This is the decisive, Advantage Ten!"
"…"
The list complete, Herta advanced. Before the seated Bai Ming could compute her next action, Herta reached out and pinched both her cheeks, stretching the skin.
"Brat!" Herta's voice was thick with exasperated static. "A preliminary analysis indicates that only the final data point in your extensive list reflects your genuine priority settings! Is this assessment correct?!"
"Ow, ow, ow—! How did your diagnostic penetrate my core programming?!"
"The conclusion was inevitable! No rational being prioritizes such a variable so highly in a strategic decision matrix!" Herta released the reddened cheeks. "By the Aeons! Are you not female? Why is your processing power disproportionately allocated to 'breast tissue'?!"
"Hey!" Bai Ming rubbed her stinging face. "I am experiencing righteous fury! Are you implying that female-identifying units cannot have an aesthetic appreciation for the soft, supple, and dynamically responsive qualities of other female-identifying units' chest modules?! They represent a pinnacle of biomechanical design! What higher form of beauty exists in this universe?!"
"You…" Herta began a counter-assault, but a new subroutine suddenly activated, halting her. "Clarify: Your statement implies that if I were to present you with a stimulus you deem superior to 'breast tissue', your strategic assessment would be recalibrated?"
"Such a stimulus exists?" Bai Ming looked at Herta, her curiosity piqued.
"Affirmative."
"Define this stimulus."
"It is an entity of supreme aesthetic appeal." A cryptic, almost predatory smile graced Herta's lips. "Something truly beautiful to behold."
-------
A/n: Hey over on my patreon there are currently two for the time being exclusive books which are
Life Simulator: Starting in Genshin Impact!
Zenless Zone Zero: Loving Daily Life Starting in New Eridu
patreon.com/deadlygoober