Liam spent all night writing his project report, which was due in just a few hours. It wasn't that difficult, not at all, but the scope of his research meant there was so much data to review, and knowing that the blond-haired boy was sleeping under his roof again wasn't enough to calm his nerves.
Around 3 AM, he left his room to make a strong cup of coffee, which he would need to finish the project and any other homework he still had left to do, such as analyzing Nikki's progress with her current treatment. He needed to find an alternative to continue taking care of the girl's health while ensuring a better quality of life outside the hospital in the long term. He would email the information to his professor to discuss it, and then he would meet with Dante to talk about his sister's health.
He really needed caffeine to stay awake for the rest of the night in front of his computer and not fall asleep.
He passed by the chair in front of the TV and saw Evan sleeping peacefully, covered by the dark blue blanket he had given him a few hours before. That blanket wasn't one of his items; it was Evan's blanket, because blue was always his favorite color, and months ago, he'd started bringing other things to add color to the place. Blue for Evan and green for Liam. "These are our colors," was what the actor told him, having that slight obsession with filling everything with those two colors, since they were the colors of Liam's and Evan's eyes.
He went to the kitchen and grabbed the first mug he found while he heard the water from the coffee maker pour into the carafe. It was green; it was the mug Evan had given him while he sipped his overly sweet latte from a blue mug. He let out a sigh; he'd always thought love and relationships were illogical, and now he didn't know how to get over everything he felt for Evan when they hadn't even had a proper breakup, and that blond, blue-eyed boy insisted on not leaving his life, just like he was doing that night, sleeping a few feet away from him.
He'd barely finished writing the written portion of his project when he fell asleep next to his computer and his third cup of coffee of the night, just before sunrise. His alarm soon woke him up. Damn. He felt terrible. He had gotten no rest and looked like a living corpse. The sound he made as he tripped over something on the way to the shower to bathe woke Evan up.
Evan rubbed his eyelids as complaints and insults sounded from the bathroom, and Liam emerged, dressed casually, with his hair dripping wet.
"Are you late, Liam?" Evan asked, going into the bathroom to brush his teeth while Liam put his laptop and other things in his backpack.
The younger boy seemed to ignore him, or maybe he didn't even hear him, so stressed out about running late and thinking about how late he'd be in his first class of that day.
"If you want, I can take you in my car. It should be faster than taking the public bus," Evan suggested from the bathroom door, causing Liam to turn around in disbelief.
How did I forget Evan has his own car?
"I forgot your car!"
Wait, what about the accident?
"But you had a car crash a week ago…" Evan interrupted, showing him the keys to his new car.
"I already have a new one thanks to the insurance," he smiled proudly, without adding that he had to pay a certain amount of money to expedite the process and get a vehicle similar to the one he had.
And so, Evan gave him a ride to his university.
The entire ride, he couldn't help but feel strange, as it was the first time he'd asked him for such a favor to get to class on time.
"Have I been to your school before? Because it doesn't look familiar at all." Evan asked.
"No, you've never been here before. And I don't recommend getting out of your car if you don't want to end up surrounded by fans."
"Oh, wow. Do I have a lot of fans around here?"
"Yes, some. Mostly women."
He preferred not to repeat the comments they made about how attractive Evan was with his beautiful blond hair and blue eyes as deep as the sea or the blue sky.
"Wow, what a surprise." Evan continued driving while smiling.
Would it be strange to ask Evan if he would be busy for a while, or to tell him he could wait for him at his apartment until he got back from college, and give him his keys? Just over a week ago, it would have been the most normal thing for them, and Evan would have wished him good luck in his classes, telling him he'd be waiting to spend time together within those four walls that kept them away from the outside world, where the blond was a rising actor and the younger was a mere college student. Within those four walls, they could forget about paparazzi or appearances and just be two boys in love. However, Liam refused to give up on that now that it was Evan himself who came looking for him again. He wanted to spend most of his time with him, even if he had to resist caressing his soft hair or kissing his sweet lips. He could have enough self-control not to make him uncomfortable and, at least, have him by his side as a friend.
"Let me know when your classes are over and you're free," Evan said, to the younger boy's surprise, making his heart race again, like it always did when they were going on a date.
"Sure. I'll send you a message."
"Okay. Good luck in your classes."
"Thanks. Be careful driving; don't crash again."
"For your information, I got hit, not the one who caused the crash!"
They arrived at the university, and Liam got out of the car, waving his hand in the air as he hurried to his classroom. Thanks to Evan, he had managed to get there on time.
For his part, Evan looked back nostalgically at a university campus, missing his short student days. He wondered what it would have been like to have Liam as a classmate.
.
.
.
When Evan entered UMass, it was like a dream come true for him. He got an academic scholarship that allowed him to study, but he still had to work part-time to rent a room in a dorm where he could live and, with what little money he had left, look for food deals. He got a job near the dorm where he now lived, working part-time as a waiter in a cafe.
As the product of a failed marriage, a mere accident of a passionate night, Evan Lloyd was never loved by his parents. The rejection he received as a child transformed into passive-aggressive behavior as he grew older, culminating in a painful indifference to everything related to his existence. Whether Evan was still alive or one day simply died no longer mattered to those who were supposed to be his parents. At least, indifference was preferable to insults, beatings, and humiliation. Therefore, when he came of age, he left home with the idea that he was alone in the world, completely alone without a family or anyone who cared about him.
He thought he would always be alone. Perhaps that's why he was afraid of being around other people, of letting them see beyond him and feeling vulnerable. If not even his own parents had loved him, how could anyone else ever love someone like him, a child who should never have been born?
But he didn't want others to feel the way he did. He didn't want other children to go through the pain and loneliness he himself experienced. That was his intrinsic motivation for studying psychology and understanding the human mind.
He loved psychology. As a child, he began reading books at the library, hoping to find a way to help lessen his parents' arguments. Sadly, what he discovered was that there was no love in their marriage and that they should never have gotten married. Evan was the accident that shackled them, and it was the only reason they got married. He was the reason his parents got married; he was the fruit of that failed relationship that should never have been consummated. And as the one responsible for uniting his parents, he was the one who received the most anger from both of them.
A father and mother should love their child, care for and cherish them, teach and guide them in this new world. A mother should hold her little one at night when they have nightmares about the sounds of thunder on stormy nights, and a father should take care of them and teach them what they don't teach you in school.
But no, that wasn't the case with him. No one celebrated when he took his first steps or was excited by his first word. At kindergarten, he was always the last to be picked up.
Again, it seems my mind only wants to drown in bad memories. I should start reviewing the script for work instead of continuing to sink into this pit of childhood traumas.
There was no point in crying over old wounds. No matter how hard he tried, those scars weren't going to go away. So he decided to look for the script for White Angel and start studying his new character. He had work to do, even if it was his days of disability. I had to know the role I was going to play, understand it, and be able to immerse myself completely in it, becoming one with the character, to bring it to life.
How should I play an angel? They say I'm the perfect person for the role, but I don't understand what an angel should be like.