The taxi ride was a thick kind of silence. Rafael was beside me, way too serious, his jaw clenched like he was holding something inside that was far too big for his chest.
I was dizzy, and it wasn't just the alcohol.My head was still stuck in the scene in front of the bar, in his touch, in the way my body reacted before I even thought of doing anything.
When the car stopped in front of the gate, I got out first, feeling the cool air hit my face. Rafael paid, closed the door calmly, and only then did I look at him, still holding his jacket in my hands.
— Rafael… what was that? — my voice came out softer than I meant. — I didn't understand anything. You…
He raised his hand, cutting my sentence in half.
— Helena, you drank too much tonight — he said, trying to sound calm, but the tension in his voice burned at the edges. — This isn't the time to talk.
— I'm fine — I shot back, firm. — And I'm not going up until you explain.
He closed his eyes for a second, like he was searching for patience somewhere very far away. When he opened them, he took two steps toward me.
His arm wrapped around my waist again, firm, and before I could process it, I'd already gone through the gate and was being guided toward the stairs.
— Rafael… — I protested, but my body gave in before my voice did.
— Go up — he murmured, his breath brushing my temple. — I'm going with you. I'm only leaving when I'm sure you're lying down, safe, in your bed.
— I'm not a child — I argued, even as he was practically holding me up.
He climbed the first step with me, supporting my weight with his own, like I might trip at any second.
— Helena… — he grumbled, almost in a sigh — you're already clumsy sober… like this, you're basically an accident looking for a place to happen.
He was right. Which was infuriating.
Despite the teasing, his tone wasn't irritated. It was a rough kind of care, badly disguised, but still… care.
So we went like that, one step at a time. His arm around my waist.When we stopped in front of the studio door, my hands were shaking, taking a second too long to find the keys in my bag. I tried to fit it in the lock. Missed. Tried again. Missed again.
— For God's sake… — Rafael snatched the key from my hand with a muffled frustration. — You have no sense of when to stop drinking.
He opened the door in one smooth motion. We went in.
— I… need the bathroom — I muttered, moving his hand away from my waist. He let me go, but stayed there, still, like a guard.
When I came out, still drying my hands, he was sitting on my couch. As soon as he saw me, he shot up like someone had hit a switch.
— Let's call it a night — he said, flat. — Lie down, you need to sleep.
— I'm not sleeping in a dress — I said, letting out a small, accidental laugh… because I noticed the couch behind him looked like it was spinning.
Rafael didn't answer.He just opened the drawer on the dresser, grabbed my blue pajamas, the one with little clouds, and turned to me.
I frowned.
— I don't want that one… I want the pink one with the teddy bears.
He closed his eyes for half a second, stuck somewhere between despair and sarcasm.
— Of course you do — he huffed, stuffing the blue one back in the drawer and grabbing the pink pajamas. When he handed it to me, I smiled like an idiot.
— Are you gonna stay there… watching me take my dress off?
His face went red instantly. Not pink… red.
— Helena. — he turned his back to me, almost outraged. — Stop it… you sound like a kid playing with something serious.
He went to the fridge, poured a glass of water, like he was trying to keep busy with anything that wasn't me.
When he came back, I was already in my pajamas, sprawled on the bed any old way, half on top of the blanket, half off, the dress crumpled on the floor.
He picked up the dress and hung it one-handed on the wall hook, then came back to me. He took hold of my ankles gently… firm, but soft… and lifted them just enough to pull the blanket out from under my body. Then he covered me, adjusting the fabric over my shoulders.
I felt everything. His hand, the care… even with my vision blurry and the world tilting a bit…
I felt everything.
My eyes grew heavy, each blink longer than the last. The dizziness made everything soft, slow… but even so, I reached my hand out toward him. It wasn't a planned gesture. It was pure instinct… or desperation.
— Stay… — I murmured. — Stay here near me, just for a bit.
Rafael froze in the middle of the room.
— Helena… — he began, tone serious, like he was already getting a "no" ready.
I shook my head slowly, the pillow making a muffled sound under my cheek.
— I just… — I took a deep breath — want to see you… to make sure you're really here. That I didn't… make it all up… that I'm not dreaming or something.
He closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, his shoulders dropped, defeated, and the breath he let out came warm, frustrated and resigned at the same time.
Slowly, like someone approaching something that might break, he sat on the edge of the bed. Not very close… but close enough.
I stretched my arm a bit more, my fingers searching for him. He hesitated for an instant… and then took my hand.
His palm was big, warm.And in that touch there was everything: care, anger, fear, desire, protection…
— I'm not going anywhere — he said at last, his voice no longer wearing the armor from before. — You can sleep. I'll stay here until you're completely out.
— Promise? — I whispered, the words coming out almost like a sigh.
His fingers tightened around mine, so gently it made me want to cry.
— I promise.
The last thing I felt before the darkness pulled me under was his thumb brushing lightly over the back of my hand.