Orochimaru moved even faster than Uchiha Yorin expected. In less than half a month he produced a finished product and said he could keep upgrading and refining it.
Yorin was pleased with Orochimaru's pace and promised him one-third equity in his soon-to-open venture, Uchiha Grand Pharmacy, for Ryūchi Cave Yin-Nourishing Yang-Boosting Powder.
Even so, Orochimaru wasn't thrilled—he felt that since he was contributing the tech, it should at least be a 50–50 split.
"But that other two-thirds isn't all mine," Yorin told him. "If I go door to door pitching with nothing but sweet talk, is that appropriate?"
Orochimaru: "It isn't."
Yorin: "And if the brothers who shoulder the risk with me, put their faces on the line, and pave the trade network don't get any equity—is that appropriate?"
Orochimaru: "That sounds even less appropriate."
Yorin: "Exactly. This equity isn't just a gift—it's a rope.
We need to use that rope to twist together people who weren't on our side, to tie down those who weren't interested in our business.
Only then can our Ryūchi Cave exclusive remedy—'Yin-Nourishing, Yang-Boosting, Bone-Fortifying Powder—so good even Orochimaru swears by it'—sell for a premium."
"I basically understand."
Orochimaru nodded, indicating he got what Yorin meant.
"But I have one more request."
"We're brothers—name it."
"It's just…" Orochimaru hesitated. "Could we… not put my name on the product?"
Yorin refused without a second thought:
"No way. You're one of the Legendary Sannin, the sole heir of Ryūchi Cave. Not only do we have to use your name, we need your photo on the label."
Orochimaru: "…"
Yorin: "…"
They stared at each other, neither budging. In the end, Orochimaru sighed and yielded first.
"Fine—one step back. Can we change the 'even I said it worked' bit?"
Yorin: "That we can. Who do you want to change it to?"
Orochimaru: "Among us three Sannin, who's… most relevant to this?"
Yorin: "…"
Orochimaru: "…"
"Ke-ke-ke…" ×2
…
A few days later—
Travel-worn Jiraiya returned to Konoha and stared at the New Konoha Times front page, lost in thought.
Printed there was a photo of Orochimaru—
completely unlike the Orochimaru he remembered.
In the photo Orochimaru was grinning like a goof, one hand giving a thumbs-up, the other holding a bottle. You could almost believe Might Guy had Henged into him.
Okay, fine: it was Might Guy in Transformation.
The bottle in "Orochimaru's" hand also bore Orochimaru's photo—also grinning like a goof, thumbs-up in one hand, bottle in the other—creating a bizarre infinite loop.
Beside the photo was the front-page headline.
As before, super-bold, extra-long black type:
"SHOCK! EXPLOSIVE NEWS! OROCHIMARU COMPLETELY CRACKS THE CASE! RYŪCHI CAVE'S 8,000-YEAR OLD BRAND—THE UNBEATABLE SECRET REMEDY FINALLY HITS THE MARKET!!"
Below that, in slightly smaller type:
"New Product—Developed by Orochimaru—Ryūchi Cave Yin-Nourishing Yang-Boosting Health Powder is here! Nourish Yin, boost Yang, regain youthful vigor—even Jiraiya says it works!!"
The details that followed—long story short—claimed the long-absent Jiraiya, missing for years of "field research," had finally paid the price.
But as a dashing hero, he still had to "gather material" for his books; the more he did, the worse it got—body and soul both battered.
As his good brother, Orochimaru saw it and fretted, and after years of research finally developed Ryūchi Cave Yin-Nourishing Kidney-Boosting Powder, tailored specifically to Jiraiya's "condition."
After Orochimaru succeeded, Jiraiya supposedly forgot himself in excitement, dropped to his knees, hugged Orochimaru's thigh, and shouted, "My illness is finally saved!"
…
Jiraiya: "What… the hell???"
After reading it all, Jiraiya's expression turned very complicated—part angry, part wanting to roast them, part wanting to laugh.
In the end he did neither anger nor laugh—so all that remained was the roast.
…
The reason the long-wandering Jiraiya had returned was at his good student Minato's request, to discuss Nagato.
Not long ago, Uchiha Yorin had told Minato about Nagato and Akatsuki, and Minato was so worried his hair was falling out by the fistful—taking a solid step from Yellow Flash to yellow dome.
When your kid's in trouble and you can't handle it, you call the parents.
Minato, like many orphan protagonists, had no parents. But that was fine—he had a good teacher.
Jiraiya might not be the most reliable, but when his student needs him, he shows up.
Partly because Minato wrote asking for help; more importantly, because of Nagato—his student whom he valued immensely.
He'd spent half his life chasing the Toad Sage's prophecy. In his judgment, the Rinnegan-bearing Nagato was very likely the Child of Prophecy.
And Akatsuki's style matched Jiraiya's taste.
As for the Great Toad's line—"whether he will bring about a great revolution or the world's destruction"—Jiraiya hadn't been afraid.
Come on—doesn't he know his own student? The kid's a born bodhisattva—won't even step on an ant while walking. How could he destroy the ninja world?
But after reading Minato's letter, he was floored. A single "holy crap" summed up his feeling.
Danzō, that bastard—what the hell. How did a perfectly fine peace-and-relief organization get turned into a standard-issue league of lunatics?
…
Thanks to years of war, slaughter, and strife, the ninja world isn't short on one thing: numb, crazy people.
The difference between them and Nagato is that they only dream of destroying the ninja world but lack the power—Nagato has both the power and the dream.
"Damn it."
As soon as he knew, Jiraiya made for Konoha at top speed to consult Minato.
And then he saw Yorin's front-page splash.
Fine—slander Orochimaru; he has no shame. But slandering him—especially in that way—was not okay!
He, Jiraiya, was the undefeated champion of the Land of Flower, a man who walked through ten thousand blossoms and came away without a leaf sticking.
You could say his status in the lewd arts surpasses his status in the ninja world! And Yorin dared imply he was "ill." Unacceptable! Absolutely not!
So thinking, Jiraiya's anger flared and his courage surged. He resolved that once he found that "born-evil little Uchiha," he'd snap into Sage Mode on the spot, and Sage Art: Super Big Ball Rasengan him into paste—dattebayo!
~~~
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