In short, Uchiha Yorin still managed to talk the clansmen around in the end.
Just like with the clan head, he offered them a three-tier plan: best, middle, and worst.
The top plan was to change their public image—move closer to him and Shisui, become bright, open, sunny types. That way they'd shed the tsundere persona.
Uchiha Tekka: "Yorin-nii, are you saying we should all turn into 'gentle perverts'?"
Uchiha Yorin patted Shisui's shoulder: "He called you a pervert, Shisui. You're not gonna deck him?"
Uchiha Shisui: "Uh… I don't think he meant me…"
After the top plan came the bottom plan.
Yorin's "bottom" plan was simple: endure.
"You're ninja, right? If you can't even do the most basic ninja thing—endurance—what use are you to the Uchiha?
Quit. Resign. Hole up at home and wait for life to pass you by.
No one at home will criticize you—well, aside from your parents' disappointed stares and the neighbors' gossip, you loser."
As soon as Yorin finished, Shisui noticed the look in everyone's eyes turn… dangerous.
What's that saying again?
"When someone wants to stab you, you can't hide it in their eyes."
Sensing it, he hurried to smooth things over.
Uchiha Shisui: "No need, no need—Yorin-nii didn't mean it like that. He just meant… uh… we're ninja, after all. Uchiha ninja aren't afraid of death—how could we be afraid of a little misunderstanding?"
Even so, if they could avoid both dying and being misunderstood, they'd prefer it. So they decided to hear the "middle plan."
"Diversion," Yorin said. "Relax—over the next while, I'll run a few big headlines to redirect everyone's attention. Then this blows over.
People in Konoha are busy hustling—working jobs, running businesses. Who's got the 'American time' to sit around memeing every day?"
When he finished, they looked around at each other until Tekka spoke first: "Yorin-nii… you serious?"
"Of course." Yorin fished a newspaper from his pouch and handed it to Tekka. "Hot off the press—the latest New Konoha Times. You're getting it cheap."
"Then I'll have a look…"
Tekka unfolded it—and was hit in the face by a wall of bolded, sensational shock-headlines:
"Shock! Screams keep echoing from the girls' dorm at midnight—what's behind it?!"
"This old man was so brazen—peeping at the women's toilet in broad daylight!"
Ninja are simple folk.
Or rather, people in this era are simple. They're still in the "if it's in the paper, it must be true" stage.
Very simple, very clear-eyed, very naïve.
So in a heartbeat he was hooked and started reading in earnest:
Meanwhile, the other Uchiha each grabbed a copy, flipped on their Sharingan, switched to speed-read mode—and, embarrassingly, started getting nosebleeds. Someone couldn't help asking:
"Wait—are we really allowed to print this kind of stuff in a newspaper?"
Yorin answered righteously: "We wear our heads on our belts and might not see tomorrow—can't even read a spicy story? Isn't that a bit inhumane?"
Everyone felt he had a point.
They also felt the middle plan had real value.
The top plan was too much work; the bottom plan too bleak. So the middle plan it was.
With Yorin's skill and sheer shamelessness, the spotlight would swing to newer, bigger headlines and the Uchiha would be out of the crosshairs in no time.
And just like that, the matter wrapped up nicely. The clansmen drifted off one by one—without the slightest intention of returning Yorin's papers.
"Let's go see the clan head," Yorin said, riding high.
"Still… are you sure this is okay?" Shisui asked. For Yorin, the page had turned, but Shisui clearly thought further. "Wouldn't this trash your reputation?"
"Technically, our reputation." Yorin clapped his shoulder. "You're the second-largest shareholder of the New Konoha Times—15% equity. A free gift; no need to thank me."
Shisui: "…Can I not have it?"
Yorin: "Absolutely not."
Seeing Yorin's serious face, Shisui's last bit of hope died.
With that complicated look on his face, Shisui went off to mess around with Itachi, while Yorin, still smiling, went to "farm coins" from the clan head. He didn't exactly like Itachi, but Itachi was Kage-level and had plenty of flashy abilities. If Shisui could bring him over to "serve the nation," Yorin could live with it.
Fugaku's house sat on the best lot in the compound—the most luxurious home.
Fugaku claimed it was thanks to his business acumen.
He's the clan head; if he says so, Yorin plays along.
They exchanged brief greetings; Mikoto served tea with a smile, then quietly withdrew.
"Sister-in-law is really the model of a good wife," Yorin said, and the smile on Fugaku's face flickered.
"Indeed… So—about your mission with Shisui…"
"Here's what happened."
Yorin ran it back, emphasizing Obito's power and… mutation.
"Wood Release—so he implanted the First's cells, and the Sharingan evolved into something else?"
At that, Fugaku's eyes glittered.
Just as Yorin suspected—no Uchiha can resist the words "stronger eyes."
"Yes. So…"
"A shame. The First's cells…" After a heartbeat of temptation, Fugaku sighed.
Without Hashirama cells, talk is moot.
Yorin wasn't about to let him shrug and move on:
"I heard Orochimaru-sama and Danzō-sama have been privately researching that stuff—trying to recreate the First's invincible Wood Release."
"—Who told you that?!"
Fugaku's face lit up with a whole cascade of expressions. Clearly he'd heard the "rumor," just never paid it mind.
"I have my channels."
"…Mm."
He didn't press; he just nodded, then looked a little resigned. "This complicates things, Yorin."
"It does."
If it were just clandestine Wood Release research—well, even desecrating the First's remains could be hand-waved with "it's for the village."
The real issue is the combination of Hashirama cells and Sharingan—the new power it yields:
Rinnegan.
An illusion power far beyond the Sharingan.
If Orochimaru and Shimura Danzō learned this, would they be tempted?
Fugaku needed only a few seconds to conclude:
Of course.
And once tempted, would they act?
Of course.
Fugaku let out a long breath. "This is getting messy."
Who wouldn't be uneasy being targeted by both Orochimaru and Danzō—even the Uchiha.
~~~
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