Ethan's POV
Everything after the warehouse felt like a blur.
Sirens.
Voices.
Hands.
And her.
Ayana in my arms.
"Stay with me," I kept saying, my voice low but shaking despite me trying to keep it steady. "Ayana, stay with me."
Jake was ahead of me, already opening the car door.
"Move!" he snapped.
We got her in quickly.
I sat beside her.
My hand found hers instantly.
Cold.
Too cold.
"Hey… hey," I murmured, squeezing her fingers. "You're fine. You're okay."
But there was blood.
And I couldn't ignore it.
I pressed my other hand carefully, trying to stop it, my jaw clenched so tight it hurt.
Liam sat in front, unusually quiet.
Mark kept looking back, his expression tense.
Jake drove like his life depended on it.
No one joked.
No one argued.
Just silence… and fear
The hospital doors burst open as we rushed in.
Doctors took her from us immediately.
"Wait—" I started, but they were already gone.
Gone behind those doors.
And just like that…
I had nothing to hold on to.
We were all in the waiting area now.
Time felt slow.
Too slow.
Nena was crying.
Not quietly.
She was holding onto Jake tightly, like if she let go, she'd fall apart.
"She'll be okay… right?" she kept asking, her voice breaking.
Jake didn't answer.
He just held her.
Liam sat hunched forward, hands clasped, staring at the floor.
Mark leaned against the wall, arms crossed but his foot tapping nonstop.
I couldn't sit.
I couldn't breathe properly.
I just stood there…
Staring at the doors.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Then suddenly—
My legs gave out.
I dropped into a squat, my hands gripping my head tightly.
"This is my fault…" I muttered.
No one spoke.
"I let her go," I said, my voice cracking. "I told her to go on her own."
My chest tightened painfully.
"I should've just taken her home."
Silence.
Then—
A tear slipped.
I froze.
Another followed.
I shut my eyes tightly, but it didn't stop.
For the first time in a long time…
I was crying.
And I couldn't stop it.
Everyone noticed.
Mark straightened.
Liam looked up quickly.
Jake turned.
Even Nena paused mid-sob.
Because I don't cry.
Ever.
But right now—
I couldn't hold it in.
"This is on me," I said again, my voice breaking completely. "If anything happens to her—"
"Ethan."
A soft voice cut through everything.
Mrs. May.
I hadn't even noticed when they arrived.
Mr. Ronson stood beside her, tense, worried.
Luca just behind them, quiet.
Mrs. May walked toward me slowly.
Then she knelt down in front of me.
And gently pulled me into a hug.
"It's not your fault," she said softly.
But I shook my head.
"It is," I whispered. "I was supposed to protect her."
She held me tighter.
"You brought her back," she said. "You didn't leave her there."
But my mind wasn't listening.
It dragged me back.
Back to flashing lights.
Twisted metal.
A voice calling my name—
Then silence.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
"Not again…" I whispered.
My breathing became uneven.
"I can't— I can't do this again."
A tear slipped down before I could stop it.
I wiped it away quickly, frustrated.
"I don't cry," I said under my breath, almost like I was reminding myself. "I don't—"
But another tear followed.
And then another.
My chest tightened harder.
"This isn't happening," I whispered, shaking my head. "She's not… she's not going to—"
Then she turned to Mark quietly.
"Why is he reacting like this?"
Her voice was soft, but it carried.
Mark hesitated.
For a second, he didn't say anything.
Then he sighed and looked down.
"Because… this isn't the first time."
Mrs. May frowned slightly.
"What do you mean?"
Mark rubbed the back of his neck.
"There was an accident," he said. "A while ago."
The room grew quieter.
"A road accident," he continued. "Someone… didn't make it."
Mrs. May's expression softened.
"And he thinks it was his fault?"
Mark nodded slowly.
"He's always thought that," he said. "Even though it wasn't."
I clenched my hands tighter.
"It was," I muttered under my breath.
Mark glanced at me but kept going.
"He never believed anyone when they told him it wasn't his fault," Mark said. "He just… shut down after that."
Mrs. May listened quietly.
"He stopped driving," Mark added. "Completely. Won't even touch a steering wheel."
Jake looked over at me.
"And he got distant," Mark said. "Cold. Doesn't let people get close."
Silence.
Mrs. May looked back at me.
Understanding now.
And something like sadness.
I let out a shaky breath, my hands dragging down my face.
"I told her to go," I said, my voice low and broken. "I let her walk out alone."
No one interrupted.
"If something happens to her…" I paused, my throat tightening.
"I'm not going to survive that."
That wasn't dramatic.
It was the truth.
Because sitting here right now—
Waiting—
Not knowing—
Felt exactly like before.
And I already knew how that story ended.
I leaned forward again, my hands gripping my hair.
"I can't lose her," I whispered.
My voice broke completely this time.
"I can't…"
And for the first time in a long time—
I didn't even try to stop the tears.
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