"Ah… Didn't expect to end up back here again…"
Shirō sighed as he looked up at the gates of the 8th Division.
Suddenly, creak!, the door cracked open, and a small head poked out.
It was Lisa Yadōmaru, adjusting her glasses as she peeked at him.
"You wanna come in?" she asked.
"Got any booze?" Shirō asked bluntly.
Lisa didn't miss a beat. She pushed up her glasses and said with a straight face,
"Sure do. I know exactly where Captain Kyōraku hides his secret stash!"
"…Deal," Shirō said.
With nowhere else to go, he followed Lisa inside.
"Here, drink!" Lisa poured a glass for him.
"Cheers!" Shirō didn't hesitate and downed it in one gulp.
"Another!"
"Good! Let's drink!"
"Impressive, keep going!"
"Of course!"
"… …"
"… …"
"You know… I've never met anyone as annoying as her!" Shirō slurred drunkenly. "I've done everything for her! Let her yell, let her hit me, I just take it! I treat her way better than any future husband ever would! Actually, who the hell would even marry her?! She's a walking disaster!"
"Yeah, yeah. Drink up and keep talking," Lisa coaxed, pouring another round.
Gulp gulp!
"Seriously, she's the most unreasonable person ever. I back off, she pushes forward. I back off again, she pushes further! She just takes and takes! That's why I've decided, I'm done backing off!"
Lisa raised a brow. "Oh? You sure about that?" She poured another shot.
"Gulp… Sure? Who the hell knows? If it works, great. If it doesn't, whatever. I've had it! Either we burn together, or we never speak again!" Shirō declared, voice loud and determined.
Lisa pushed her glasses again and suddenly said,
"But you know… all the books say: 'The deeper the love, the stronger the hate.' Sounds like you actually like her?"
"Like her? Ha!" Shirō laughed bitterly. "Me? Like her?! …Okay, maybe a little. But just a tiny bit!"
He raised his index finger and pinched the nail with his thumb. "Just this much!"
Then he shook his head. "No, that's too much. Even less."
Now he raised his pinky, squinting as he tried to measure the gap with one eye. "Nope, still too much. Can't be that much!"
"I like her… at most this much, see? Just this little, no! Even less than this!"
He now held his thumb and index finger together, leaving the thinnest possible gap between them. But he was too drunk to hold steady. His hands kept wobbling, and he kept trying to adjust the space with comical precision, obsessively fine-tuning it.
"Alright, alright, I get it! You only like her that tiny bit!" Lisa said quickly, trying to calm him down.
"No! You don't get it!" Shirō insisted. "Not that kind of small. It's smaller than that!"
"Here, I'll show you again. About this… this much… maybe just…"
THUD!
Shirō suddenly faceplanted onto the table, completely knocked out.
"…Shirō?" Lisa nudged him.
"Shirō Emiya?" She shoved him a bit harder.
"…Finally passed out, huh?" Lisa's glasses glinted ominously. She walked over, grabbed him by the collar, and tossed him onto a nearby futon she'd already laid out.
BAM!
He slammed into the wall before flopping onto the ground.
Lisa pushed her glasses again. "Yup, he's out cold."
If Shirō ever found out how he was treated after getting drunk… well, honestly, compared to Yoruichi's punishment, he might actually prefer staying with Lisa…
Lisa walked over and, without the slightest hesitation, stripped off his top, opened her book, flipped to the bookmarked page, and muttered:
"Right, this is where I left off last time. Let's see what comes next…"
...
"Kyōraku really knows his sake…" Shirō mumbled, rubbing his neck the next morning. "But why does my whole body feel sore? Is this a hangover side effect…?"
Still groggy, he stumbled home, swaying side to side.
Back at the 8th Division, Lisa pushed her glasses again.
"Huh. Not a single reaction like the book said. Is it 'cause he's too young? Or maybe too drunk to feel anything? Or am I just doing it wrong? Oh well, next time, I'll try something new. Judging by how things are going, I'll have plenty more chances."
That day passed without incident. The next morning, Shirō still didn't go to the Shihōin estate for lessons.
Of course, his parents were none the wiser, they assumed he had just taken a "sick day."
If they had known the real reason was a fight with Yoruichi, they probably would've dragged him to the estate themselves and forced him to kneel in apology.
But even though Shirō didn't show up…
That day, Yoruichi actually came to see him.
Unlike yesterday though, she wasn't alone.
This time, she brought Kukaku Shiba… and Kisuke Urahara!
The moment Shirō saw Urahara, he recognized him instantly.
After all, any Bleach fan would.
At this point in time, Urahara had already grown into his teenage form, just like Yoruichi. Unlike little Byakuya, who was still a tiny brat, that's why Shirō hadn't recognized him at first.
But Urahara? Instantly recognizable.
So this is how their first meeting happens… huh.
Behind Yoruichi stood little Soifon, still acting like a maid.
Next to her stood Kisuke Urahara, looking like a complete dork, standing stiffly with wide eyes.
Shirō gave them all a brief glance… then promptly looked away. No intention to speak.
Yoruichi, however, smiled brightly and called out:
"Hey Shirō~! Let me introduce you, this is Kisuke Urahara, my new friend!"
She said it with a smug, mischievous tone, like a girl flaunting her "handsome rich boyfriend" in front of her salty ex.
Except visually, Shirō still looked way more like the rich, handsome noble.
Urahara… kinda looked like a broke nerd.
But it wasn't about looks today, it was about vibes.
Yoruichi was like a kid pulling her shiny new toy over just to mess with her old friend.
"I'm Kisuke Urahara. Nice to meet you," said the future shopkeeper cheerfully, reaching out for a handshake.
Shirō didn't move a muscle.
Didn't even look at him.
Just sat there in complete silence.
Urahara awkwardly scratched the back of his head and gave a nervous laugh:
Heh… looks like I've gotten myself caught up in something complicated…
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150 P.S = 1 Extra Chapter