"You didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I was wrong. I'm sorry."
Caelan held the small Lorgar in his arms. The child's delicate, porcelain-like face tilted upward.
"Why?"
Caelan replied softly, "Because of arrogance and prejudice, I think. I was too proud… proud enough to label you and your brothers with cold, unfeeling tags in my heart, to see you through the lens of bias and assumption. But you made me realize I was wrong. Can you forgive me?"
"Why are you telling me this?" Lorgar asked.
"Because," Caelan smiled faintly, "I believe sincerity is always the ultimate weapon."
Lorgar blinked, his amethyst eyes glimmering like polished gems. His long lashes cast tiny, flickering shadows in the sunlight.
He reached out his small, pale hand and gently touched Caelan's cheek, so carefully, as if he were touching a fragile drop of morning dew.
"Then I can't forgive you," he said.
Now it was Caelan's turn to ask, "Why not?"
"Because I never blamed you." Lorgar's voice was soft and childish, yet carried a sincerity far beyond his years.
If he never blamed him, then what was there to forgive?
"You're only making me feel more guilty," Caelan sighed, troubled. He admitted Lorgar was thoughtful and adorable, and because he bore the same face as Neoth, his charm struck deeper than any of his brothers'.
And that only made things harder for Caelan. He didn't know how to teach Lorgar without leading him astray.
But he had to bear the burden of educating the Primarch. Because if he didn't, the Four Chaos Gods would.
They were everywhere, creeping into every gap, never missing a single chance to corrupt the Primarchs.
Caelan gazed into Lorgar's violet eyes, brushing a strand of the child's soft hair with his fingertips. His voice became almost a whisper.
"We'll walk a very long road together, Lorgar. Like a traveler cherishing every drop of dew in the desert, I hope we'll treasure these moments forever, meeting each other with sincerity, heart to heart, without suspicion or deceit."
"This is my promise to you… and my promise to myself."
Lorgar nodded solemnly. His porcelain-like little face tensed up, though the roundness of his cheeks made his seriousness look adorably childish.
Lorgar trusted Caelan completely. He would always be sincere with him. They would be each other's one and only.
With the innocent voice of a child, Lorgar asked, "How long is 'a very long time'?"
"That depends on how long it takes you to unite Colchis."
"Why should I unite Colchis?"
Caelan looked down at him. If it were the Emperor, he would have told Lorgar this was his destiny, but Caelan couldn't bring himself to say it.
"That's your freedom," Caelan said at last. "You don't have to unite it. Whatever choice you make, I'll support you. But someday, the Emperor will descend upon this world and call you and your Legion to join the Great Crusade. If you can unite Colchis, you'll hold a higher place in his eyes."
"Do you want me to unite Colchis?"
"Not just Colchis," Caelan said. "I hope you'll save all of humanity, not by relying on any god, but by humanity's own strength."
Lorgar nodded seriously. "Then I will unite Colchis."
Caelan chuckled softly. "That's touching to hear, but I don't want you to choose that path just because of me. Don't rush your decision. We still have plenty of time. When you truly understand this world, then you can decide."
"It's because of you," Lorgar said earnestly. "And because of me."
He was still very young, seventeen days old, equivalent to four months by Terra's reckoning.
He looked like a Colchis child of about a year and a half, around six or seven years old by Terra's measure.
Yet his mind was already vast. From birth, he knew his purpose. He and his brothers carried humanity's hope for salvation.
Lorgar didn't want to fail his mission, or Caelan's expectations.
But then he lowered his head, nibbling his finger, torn by a sudden thought.
Caelan had said their "long time" depended on when he united Colchis. So… if he did unite it, wouldn't that mean Caelan would leave?
That thought made Lorgar's chest tighten until he could hardly breathe.
He even thought, for a moment, about giving up his mission, just to make their time together last longer.
But he couldn't. His mind told him he must bear this duty, no one else could.
And his heart told him that if he gave it up, Caelan would be disappointed in him.
He couldn't let that happen.
He had to unite Colchis.
Lorgar believed Colchis was just the beginning. More worlds awaited his conquest, more lives awaited his salvation.
From the moment of his birth, he understood his mission: to save mankind. He just hadn't yet found his path, didn't know how to do it.
If Caelan had never come, Colchis would have taught Lorgar to place his hope in the gods.
But Caelan had come. And he told Lorgar that to save humanity, he must drive the gods away.
So Lorgar would.
Caelan loathed gods, Lorgar could see that clearly.
And since Caelan was always right, Lorgar believed it too: the gods were guilty.
He would unite Colchis, save humanity, and destroy the world's false faiths.
The world belonged to mankind, not to gods. He would drive them all out, every last one, banish them completely from the human realm!
'I'm still just a child,' the thought fluttered faintly through his mind like a feather.
He curled up in Caelan's arms, pressing his face to Caelan's chest like a small creature finding its home. Listening to that steady, powerful heartbeat, he drifted into sleep within a father's warmth.
He had to make the most of every moment, because soon, he would grow up.
He knew they would part someday, that was why he wanted to make as many memories as he could now.
"He's still just a child, after all."
Caelan pinched Lorgar's cheek gently. He had meant to keep teaching while the moment was warm, but the boy had already fallen quietly asleep.
Caelan gave Akshida and the others a look, then carried the sleeping Lorgar into the tent.
Akshida immediately followed, but Nairo caught him by the arm.
"What are you doing?" Nairo asked helplessly.
"He told us to follow him, didn't he?" Akshida blinked, confused.
"Our lord meant we shouldn't disturb him," Nairo said. "We have our own mission, to spread his will among the others."
Akshida lowered his voice. "But he just claimed the Prophet isn't really a prophet! That's blasphemy against the gods!"
"I know," Nairo replied calmly. "But the Prophet himself admitted it. Are you going to disobey his word?"
Akshida fell silent.
Nairo patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Akshida. Be patient. Time will give us the answer."
.....
If you enjoy the story, my p@treon is 30 chapters ahead.
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