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Chapter 13 - Chapter 13: Re-attachment and Affirmations

Ed opened his eyes and groaned. Damn but he hurt. Not just his shoulder but all over. Tired was his next thought followed by hunger until his stomach turned and he decided that hunger could wait. He knew from experience that his new port would be very painful for the next few weeks before it began to subside into the dull ache that could last anywhere from three to twelve months.

Ignoring the pain he rolled his shoulder and felt the familiar weight of an automail port. Turning his head carefully he tried to see the port but the angles were a bit hard for his head to manage so he gave it up for the moment. Another few days, maybe a week and then he would get the new arm to match the port and he could begin to feel more like himself again. Then…then he would face up to the whole female issue. If he was going to be honest with himself, he felt very unsettled by the whole gender change thing.

Deep down he thought of himself as male. It was hard to keep convincing yourself that when you saw breasts in the mirror and he had no doubt that the other major anatomical change was going to cause even more problems as well. He sighed.

He honestly did not blame Al. He knew Al was still carrying some guilt despite what Ed had told him the other day. That was something to put on his to do list. Sort out Al.

The sunlight was tinted orange through the window so it must be close to sunset he thought. He slowly turned on the bed and propped himself up on his elbow. He gritted his teeth as a wave of sweat broke out across his forehead. He panted gently for a few moments before trying to ease himself up higher. He hadn't forgotten how hurtful automail surgery was exactly, but time had certainly dulled his perception of the pain. He wondered how he had ever survived having two limbs replaced.

"Now you'll be able to compare it to childbirth, Ed."

Pinako's dry voice in the doorway had his head whipping around so fast he felt his whole back twist.

"Ow!" He hissed as his shoulder sent a jab of pain straight through his head and made his eyes water. "Dammit Granny! What are you trying to do? Kill me?"

"As if any comment of mine could lay you so low. You're much stronger than that, Ed." Pinako walked into the room and pushed the pillows behind him so he could relax back and remain upright. "I could ask what you were trying to do by moving around so soon after the surgery."

"You know I don't like staying in bed, Granny. And I need to go to the bathroom." Ed replied his voice trailing off as he realised he was going to have deal with his change again.

"Don't look so down, Ed." Pinako smiled at him. "You'll get used to all these changes and you'll find that they aren't as bad as you think they are."

"You were born like this, I wasn't." Ed groused. Pinako looked at him appraisingly and then nodded to herself. Offering Ed a bedpan would get it thrown back in her face. When he was younger, he had been confined to the bed for two full weeks after the surgery and the bedpan ritual had been his most hated time; this time he had two good legs and he was going to use them. Edward would always start exactly as he meant to go on.

"Wait here for a bit longer and let me make some arrangements." She grinned and disappeared.

True to her word, no more than fifteen minutes later she returned.

"Now. To the bathroom we go." Pinako helped him swing his legs around and place them on the floor without jarring his shoulder too much. He leant against her as he levered himself upwards, her wiry strength keeping him stable.

Sweat trickled down and he could feel his hair stuck to his neck and face. His shoulder throbbed and he pushed the pain away. Slowly, step by unsteady step they made their way from the bedroom to the bathroom. The free standing tub was nearly filled and steam rose from the heated, bubble covered water. Ed looked at it and almost drooled.

"First things first, Ed." Pinako manouevered him to the toilet and left him there after he refused her further help feeling more than a little humiliated. He still had on Winry's tank and his own boxers. They must have removed his trousers at some point after the operation. "Fine but you call me as soon as you're in the water," she commanded as she left the room.

Ed nodded after her. He was never going to get used to sitting down every time he needed to go no matter what the hag said. He finished and began to remove the tank top when he got stuck. The new port caught on the material and he ended up half tangled in the loose stretchy fabric. With only one arm he couldn't pull the material higher without tugging it and when he tried, he could feel the port pulling with it. He gritted his teeth at the stabbing pains that caused. With a reluctant sigh he called and the door opened with such alacrity it was obvious she had been waiting right outside.

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