I believe a kid who hasn't been exposed to the outside world is capable of achieving anything, literally anything. Don't worry I'll say enough to support my belief.
There is a topic which I thing isn't discussed enough in our society. A topic that always catches my eyes. A topic everyone can relate too.
Inferiority complex…..
I am 19 as I write this, and this topic of inferiority complex is very personal to me. And I have realised that back in time, I used to be that bold, smart, confident kid. But I don't know how this bold smart confident kid slowly crawled into a shell. How I travelled this unwanted path from that smart confident kid to this insecure underconfident adult.
Today, I have answer to this question.
Back then, I thought I was perfect and that illusion gave me confidence. But the day I stepped out of my small zone, the world pointed out my imperfections. People who didn't even know me looked closely and told me, directly or indirectly, how flawed I was. Sometimes through words, sometimes through jokes, sometimes just through silence.
Today we live in a society where it's normal to use someone's insecurities for humour. People disguise cruelty as comedy and call it wit.
And the sad part is, sometimes even I've been one of them.
I'll tell you why this issue of inferiority complex is not talked enough. It's because neither its victims suffer openly, nor do its culprits realise their guilt.
We mock someone's colour, height, weight, or status and the person at the centre of it laughs along. Not because it's funny, but because they know nobody really cares. And if they ever dare to speak up, to say that it hurts when we press on their wounds, the world calls them "too sensitive," someone who "can't take a joke."
Every time you make a comment on someone's complex, it does nothing to them on the outside. They'll just laugh it out. But deep within it adds a layer to their wounds. And don't worry, yours surely won't be the first layer.
You know the saying goes by, "One incident hasn't made me what I am,
It's the result of everyday damage".
Every comment, every weird look, every whisper that we do, adds burden to the mirror. Why the mirror?
Because it's the mirror who will have to see the wounds of it's master.
The victim smiles in the day only to weep at night.
If a smile could show, it would reflect all the scars of it's bearer.
Inferiority complex is one of the most damaging things a person can carry — yet no one seems to care enough. Only the ones who suffer know how it feels to hate their own reflection. How you start disliking your own voice, your photos, your body, your presence. How you start hating being you.
It eats your soul every second until you finally become hollow.
The cruel truth of human life is that our imperfections do affect our lives. They decide where we stand in a group, who gets chosen to speak, and who fades quietly into the background. You're asked to step away from the mic because your voice doesn't fit. Your idea is presented by someone else because they "look better." You're judged more harshly for the same mistake.
I am a very average, below average looking guy. I don't complain for this. But I know people who say looks don't matter are clowns.
Because looks do matter. No matter how negative it may sound, but yes, looks do matter a lot.
If looks didn't matter then the not so good looking guy would have been allowed to present the idea to the client. The dark skinned woman would have walked the road without people looking at her.
And there are so different complexes that people have. I can't even name half. Complex of color, height, weight, body type, voice, accent, intellect, financial status and what not.
And what's heartbreaking is how these complexes start controlling our lives. You want to post a photo, but you don't, because you don't "look good." You want to speak up, but you don't, because your voice sounds "funny." You want to wear that outfit, but you don't, because it doesn't suit your "skinny" body.
After a point, life stops being about what you want to do. It becomes about what hides your complex the best.
And the saddest impact of this inferiority complex is when it comes to love. You like someone so much that you genuinely want to be with them, but you just can't take that brave step because all through your life you have been told by the world that you are not lovable because of your height, color, weight, and other imperfections. So you just give up and never make an attempt because you know you are not likeable. You fear, what if the person whom you like so much, points out your flaws too.
It's easier to love than to be loved.
I hate when someone compliments me. I am like please don't. Because it never feels real. It always feels like either the person is lying or being sarcastic, or just saying it for the sake of making me feel good. Even when the compliment is real, I get uncomfortable receiving it. Overall, I just hate being complimented.
A lot of fault according to me is of the parenting too. Like how the parents tell their child that he is so perfect and is so lovable upto an age and then when he steps outside and meets the judgemental eyes of the society, he realises that he isn't that perfect. That many people don't like seeing him. It shatters the confidence and boldness that was build by his family from a small age.
And not only this, it gets worse, he'll slowly start to realise that his imperfections will also cost him opportunities in this cruel world, that he'll have the last bite of the cake.
Why can't parents prepare their kids for that reality? Why can't they teach them that the world will be cruel, that people will comment and that it's okay? Why can't they teach their children on how to take a joke on their imperfections, how to respond to it and how to fight it. That their worth isn't defined by those comments, and that success will one day silence every insult.
Now you know why I said at the start, a kid who hasn't been exposed to the world can achieve anything. Because until then, he still believes in himself, until the world teaches him that he shouldn't.
The scariest view is of a person standing in front of his mirror, rubbing his wounds of complexes, trying to limit his greedy heart. Reminding himself of the harsh truth of life every day.
Some scars never fade away, they only dry up and become permanent. Inferiority complex is one such scar.
I think I've said enough, and I can manage more, but I won't. If anybody reading this feels that I am trying to demotivate the audience and make them conscious of their complexes, then trust me, it's not what I want. But I am not a motivational speaker either. All I care to do is present a chapter of my life.
And anyways, reality has always been harsh.
I'm 19, and I've dealt with this long enough. Enough scars have dried. And though I don't have a magical solution, I have a realisation.
I am not perfect. I am not good-looking. I am not great at many things.
But I am enough.
Not for the world…..for myself.
I know the few things I'm good at, the places where I can stand tall, the spaces where I quietly shine.
I have a purpose in life and that is not to be ordinary. I know the path, I know the obstacles, and I know I don't have another choice but to keep walking.
Now, when I look into the mirror, I still see the scars but I no longer flinch.
Because they no longer define me. They refine me.
The same reflection that once broke me now reminds me how far I've come.
And for the first time, I don't look away.