-•✦--✦--✦•-
"You know you have to call her, right?" Nain reminded me.
As usual, I ignored her insistence and kept on waddling. I was spent from the hard work and long day. Though the real weight on my shoulders was from having to make this phone call. I'd completed a contract and extended once while performing on West End. Now, I had two movies in production with none complete. Here I was then, looking to book my next work even as I wasn't done with the current one.
More than a year of living away from Chester, a city I was born in, place where my family lived. I felt a terrible son to a loving mother, son who didn't deserve the support she gave me. Deep down, I knew that my mother wanted the best for me, wanted what I wanted. So perhaps, she wouldn't say no to me flying off to New York.
Oh, who was I kidding?
I'd told her that after Great Expectations, I'd come back for some extended stay in Chester. Yet the timeline was now being shifted, or at least had the opportunity to do so. I was a child, but I wasn't a fool. Flying a child actor from UK for an audition in a majority American cast and so close to the filming date. Cameron the director's excitement about my audition tape and song. As long as I didn't mess up terribly, I had that job in the bag. I was sure of it.
Then I wanted to book Billy Elliot, tough ask but it would block out my August all the way until December. What if I got more roles afterwards? I wanted to be in Unbreakable, Pay it Forward and more. Shooting schedules might conflict, but to book Harry Potter, I needed a lot of credits. Credits for good movies, films showcasing my range.
When I called my Mum would end up complaining but ultimately accept me flying off to New York. Then, there was Billy Elliot, I would have to do my best to appeal to her as she put on more fight. Perhaps, she'd accept that one too. But at some point, my mother would say no, she could recall me back to Chester. Put up a limit, limited amount of productions per year. Limited amount of time at auditions. Suddenly, I would no longer have a career.
Frankly, it would be hard to argue if she said that I can pursue acting or music once I'm finished with schooling. Legally, there was no way I could go against her. To keep my Mum onside, I had to be honest with her. Honest with my intentions, that way her love for me would require me to chase this career I wanted. Same thing could backfire too, loving mothers wished the best for their children and children often wanted something that was bad for them. Sweets, dangerous games, children eating dirt, playing with heavy rocks, sharp tools. Kids needed telling off, they needed discipline.
So then, there was only one solution where I got everything I wanted and she got everything she wanted, wasn't there?
I clicked the number two button and stared at it.
"You've got to click that button." Nain said smiling,
"What do you mean, fly off to New York?" Mum practically shouted when I explained what was going on.
I winced. I'd expected resistance, but not for her to shut it down quite so fast.
"Well… I wanted to see New York and—"
"—See New York? You're only there for a day, and you've got to be back in— where is it— Newark? Do you hear yourself, Wilfred?"
I swallowed. Mum never called me Wilfred — not since the last incident. That hadn't been a good day.
"Mum. Would you like to come with me? I've got an off-day on Sunday."
"An off-day is it?" Mum gave a near-hysterical laugh.
"Mum. Please. I need to do it."
"That's what you said about the last two films. Mum, I need to go off to Italy. Mum, sign the court papers. No, Wilfred, I want you back in Chester. You've gone swanning off round Europe, and now you want to hop across the ocean. What's next — New Zealand?"
New Zealand… ironically, I still had an audition tape pending for a little-known series called The Lord of the Rings. A brilliant revelation and an incredible trilogy, far more acclaimed than Harry Potter. But the role didn't interest me — a few seconds of screen time, however legendary the film, wasn't enough to tempt me.
"Mum. I love you," I prefaced.
"No. You're not buttering me up with that. It won't work. Not now." She promised,
I let out a laugh — a proper, full-bodied one that lightened the weight over my shoulder. The solution was so simple I couldn't believe I was dancing around it.
"Mum, let's live together again. Me, you, and Dad."
"Oh." She sounded stunned. "You want to come back to Chester? Have you been missing us, bach?"
"I have. I do," I said, smiling. Nain was smiling too, as was my Grandad. "But I'm not coming back to Chester. I want you and Dad to move to London."
My grandparents and my mother at the end of the line, they all froze as they watched me and let the idea settle. Mum was the first to break the silence and her rejection was strong. But I heard the crack in her voice. The wish to come join me, wish for a united family.
I smiled and got my points ready.
Nearly an hour later, I finally hung up. The call might've gone on even longer if my phone credit hadn't run out. After 7 p.m. calls were cheaper, but there was still far too much to say between me and Mum.
At first Mum rejected the idea of having to move to London but then started to come around to it. I could only do my job if I was in London, Mum and Dad could do their jobs anywhere. Not that she took to the idea easily and there was some ridiculousness to the idea my job was more important than my parents' jobs.
I was going to earn enough money from Tea with Mussolini for our family to start a new life in London. My offer of money landed like a lead balloon, but I had more time to get them to accept the money. No matter how much they insisted it was my money, they deserved a big part of it. Dad could use a jump start to starting his own construction crew in London and if he couldn't, it would still help us settle.
—✦—
Friday, April 28th, 1999 — Thoresby Hall, Newark, UK
Thoresby Hall was a country home that had been converted into a hotel. Or rather it was just being converted now. Renovations on the main building was mostly complete with room furnishings left. Courtyard was a proper mess with all sorts of equipment and torn down flooring and century old stones. House went from hands of a noble house to the control of a business with the idea of a hotel being opened in its place. Before they opened doors for real business, they'd somehow managed to start earning money by hiring out the location for film productions. It seemed a savvy enough business.
How weird was it to be on a house that had been demolished then rebuilt every hundred years since the late 17th century. The current building before me was the third and final version bought in auction by Warner Leisure. A company that had nothing to do with Warner Bros. Though it seemed to be a rule that I was seeing ton of things that reminded me of the dream I was chasing. Such was the human mind.
Crew had traveled through the night to set up the shoot and the cast arrived yesterday afternoon. Julian made us of the time by running through scenes and finalising blocking. Even as we rehearsed, I noticed the set design crew gluing things to place. Construction site slowly transformed into a derelict house that Dickens first envisioned as the fictional Satis House. I saw fake moss, carefully pruned and arranged branches being stuck on to every surface that the eye could see. These looked much more unreal than the decorations that made Gargery House possible but there was a difference between a purpose built house and one being transformed into a set. Julian used me and my fellow actors to stand in places as he looked down his viewfinder to make sure he only chose angles that portrayed the house from far enough without giving up the cinematic look.
During our rehearsals I'd tried to speak to Charlotte about our upcoming scenes but Dorothea rebuffed me everytime until I got the message. Something about wanting my genuine reaction when I saw Miss Havisham that she would portray. Her role was easily the most memorable character from the Great Expectations novel and often portrayed as a pale ghostly figure wearing a tattered wedding dress and lived in a rotting mansion. Charlotte herself looked nothing like that image, constant smiles and laugh lines, kindly face.
Even Dorothea didn't give me opportunities to rehearse lines, only going through the blocking of the scene. She cited the same reason that everyone kept telling me. They wanted a genuine reaction. I'd cursed them under my breath all through yesterday, I expected professionalism from my fellow actors yet been made to feel unwelcome to the set. Blocking with us in modern clothing and no makeup didn't even do to engage my imagination.
Because of being denied all throughout yesterday, I was looking forward to today's scenes.
"No peeking yet." Kayla, another second AD, warned me.
"Must we do this?" I said in frustration.
"Yes. We are filming outside scenes first then move onto the house. You'll have to be patient, lad."
I kicked at the ground, almost bored with the whole secrecy thing. They kept saying it was for getting genuine reactions out of me but to me it felt like they didn't want a kid wandering around the place. All the greens and greys were stuck in the right places to make the place feel a house abandoned in time. Nature had seemingly laid her claim on it. The fictional Satis House was supposed to give off give off haunted vibes though I felt the place looked even more beautiful with the natural dressing.
"That's the signal. Get ready." Kayla said.
"I've been ready." I muttered.
She led me off to where the horse trainer stood with Terence an actor who was playing Mr Pumblechook, a family connection for Pip. The man who arranges Pip an audience with the rich Miss Havisham.
"Ready for a ride?" Terence asked with a ready smile.
"Sure." I said, jumping to get on the carriage.
"Hold it." The trainer barred my way.
The man actually read me a safety warning and additional instructions even though he'd told me the same thing back in Thornham. The scene that this shot today was to be the continuity for. It seemed everyone wanted to test my patience ever since we'd arrived in Newark.
Julian walked over as he was finished telling me off.
"Let's get it done quickly. This will be a short one. Make sure to use up your imagination, Pip. You won't be staring at the hotel when we take the shot."
True to Julian's word, we finished that shot easily. My only job was to look curiously and in excitement at the fancy mansion. Task made ridiculously easy from when I'd made the same faces when I saw the Thoresby Hall.
"Action." Julian called out a new scene.
I ran up to the gate made to look proper creepy from all the dead branches that the set designed ziptied to the gate. It felt like a gate to a graveyard or the underworld. Since everyone had been denying me access to the place after it had been decorated, I couldn't help a genuine curiosity show on my face as I poked a head through a gap.
"Boy, let your behaviour here be a credit to them which brought you up by hand." Terence warned.
"Look into the gate again," Julian called out.
I conjured up an even more curious expression and curled my eyebrows as I focused to the footpath.
"Camera B."
Another camera came up directly in front of me to film close shots. My eyes looked anywhere but at it. This frame would be edited with Dorothea opposite to me next. So I made sure to look up, imagining her as a seven footer. Julian had went on and on about symbolisation in films. The way people were framed subconsciously told the audience who was more important or in a more powerful position in the relationship.
"Off your mark, Pip." Second AD instructed,
I stepped back to allow the camera to take my place.
"Estella's entrance!" First AD called out a cue.
My eyes immediately locked on to the girl walking towards us. The camera captured her entrance framed by the dead trees and dried leaves with the backdrop of an overcast sky. Dorothea wore a pristine white Victorian era dress with enough puff for a princess to wear. Yet the most prominent figure was not the stark white dress but the wig that the hair department had put on her. It was a shiny raven black thing with bangs perfectly framing her face. She had a fancy hat tied to her neck and hanging loose on her back. The whole get up made her look beautiful in sort of a porcelain doll fashion. The way she walked casual and sure of herself with a facial expression that made you feel belittled and inadequate. Estella had been designed to look a creature of contrasts.
When she closed in on the gate, she bent to grab a chain of keys from a dead branch in shape of a skeletal hand. Her head poked through the gate just as I'd been doing earlier.
"What name?" she asked in her usual posh accent.
She'd not even come up with an accent for the role. My opinion of her diminished a tiny bit.
"Pumblechook." Terence announced,
"Quite right," she replied with an annoyed sigh.
"Camera A again, back to marks."
I stepped back in place.
"From 'this is Pip', cue on the gate opening. Camera C on your mark."
Estella opened the gate and Terence put both hands on my shoulders to present me.
"This is Pip."
Dorothea looked me up and down in disdain, her gaze lingering on my shoes for a moment. Her nose wrinkled at something she saw.
"This is Pip, is it? Come in, Pip." She said with judgement but stepped aside to let me pass.
The whole attitude of hers was exactly the same as how she'd been carrying herself all this time on set. I tried to tell myself that it was acting but it was getting on my nerves. Keep it professional and soon it would be over. I climbed over the chain to stand next to her. Terence followed me behind.
Dorothea stepped in Terence's way, stopping him awkwardly with one leg over the chain. She gave a sweet smile but her eyes didn't seem to agree with the smile. I only saw pleasure in it, a cruel pleasure.
"Oh, did you wish to see Miss Havisham?" Dorothea asked, knowing the answer.
"Camera B." Crew moved to stick a camera extremely close to Terence. "Go!"
"Miss Havisham wished to see me." Terence tried to say with confidence but a stammer made his real feelings apparent.
"Ahh," Dorothea smiled and shook her head, even coming up close to shove Terence away with a hand. "But you see, she don't."
Her final push was forceful, causing Terence's top hat to get caught on the top chain of the gate. The man somehow got ahold of it even as he was stumbling over the bottom chain. The gate shut on his face and she poled her head through the gate again, delivering an evil smile. Wow.
"Walk off, walk off." Julian called.
I grabbed on to my jacket collar or lapel, whatever you wanted to call it. It was apparently a common gesture the men of the time did and roughly equivalent to the hands in a pocket of modern time. I stepped in behind Dorothea, who was already striding off quickly.
"Remember Pip." Terence called up behind me.
Turning, I listened to his words.
"Credit. Nothing but credit." He warned.
That was right, I was in this place to be in Miss Havisham's favour. I'd need to watch myself. My future depended on her liking me. She'd open up opportunities that an orphan like me would never get. Nodding meaningfully, I started to turn. Dorothea stopped and was glancing back at me. Nose wrinkling again, she barked out.
"Don't loiter, boy!"
I ran as the rehearsal had me do. The sudden acceleration almost made the wind knock over my hat but somehow I kept it on.
"Cut!" Julian called.
He fussed over the cluster of monitors for a minute before finally calling for a print. We'd managed the scene in one go — the first time that'd happened since we'd started shooting. At least, the first time on a scene I was in.
A flicker of excitement went through me. No lines, just physical acting. Who knew that'd be the thing I was best at.
Julian strode over with a wide grin. I smiled back — only to immediately frown when he walked straight past me.
"Estella! Amazing job with that. So much sass, the perfect air of superiority. Exactly what we needed." Julian said warmly.
"Thank you," Dorothea replied, giving a neat little curtsy, fingers pinching her skirt and head dipping just so.
"Brilliant. Brilliant work." Julian sighed contentedly. Then, turning, he noticed me. "Oh — you too, Wilfred. You too."
He'd literally walked past me to get to her, then remembered me at the last second like I was some furniture or perhaps a dead tree as befitting the environment.
Dorothea flashed me the same evil little grin she'd given Terence on the earlier shoot. I kept my face as still as stone. It was her first scene. Beginner's luck. Surely.
"Let's get to the next location," Julian said, buzzing with energy. "Courtyard's over there — some of the rooms are kitted out fully. One of them's a surprise, but we'll save that for tomorrow." He shot me a knowing smile.
He loved his set dressing. Fair enough — that kind of detail was what turned words on paper into something real. Combination of sound, visuals and movement, those were the reasons film beat every other medium. It simply combined everything. I was excited to see the transformed rooms, just slightly irritated by the endless red tape barring me away from it.
"Hall scene next, three shots. Off we go." Julian marched away, cheerful as ever.
Left alone, Dorothea gave me her signature smirk.
"Want to compete on how many retakes we need each? Most retakes loses. Winner gets to lord over the other for a day." She proposed crisply.
My mind raced — benefits, risks, difficulty. That last scene, I'd nailed in one take. Today was shaping up well. Two scenes down — one didn't quite count for how short it was — but still, both done in one take. I could beat her easily.
"You're on," I said, smiling.