I'm looking at my wounds. They are bleeding, bright red. As if depicting my collapse.
Is this what it feels like to be worse off than being tortured?
I have no idea when the date will be that I emerge from this depression, if it will even happen, how it will result, or how it will end.
I just want to fully focus, work non-stop, and do what I need to do.
The other day, I bought 2 packs of Band-Aids from the market. I bought them thinking it was the last time. I don't want to buy them again anymore.
Now, I'm going to start an intensive meditation program. I really need to listen to my soul and myself.
I need myself so much. My mom and the people who love me need me. I've decided not to sleep tonight. I will reminisce about the old days and try to feel that girl again. My primary goal is to pull that girl back inside me.
That girl isn't someone different or a stranger to me. She was a girl who had dreams and goals, even before her ambitions.
I need to remember and call her back.
I lost that girl on the day that ceremony wasn't held.*
She was stressed, yes, but that girl was cheerful and, at the same time, so calm and self-assured, knowing what she was doing.
HELLO G, WELCOME 😊