As they took a walk in the orphanage's garden, Zerath's gaze fell on Eurus and Razaas at a distance - Razaas, who was pushing Eurus to introduce himself to the kids while Eurus struggled to escape his hold and his terrifying mission. A sheet of ice froze Razaas's body, making the children gasp.
"Ice magic!"
"He can use ice magic!"
"He froze the mighty Razaas!"
The intimidating kids looked less intimidating now, but it didn't ease Eurus's tension much. Zerath smiled at him and then glanced at the other person wishing to escape the awkward conversation.
Before he could ask, Vivia spoke first. "I crossed my line. Please forgive me."
A look of surprise passed in his eyes. "Why ask for forgiveness?"
Her complicated gaze was glued to the grassy ground. "I shouldn't have slapped the Matron. I should've kept my cool."
No matter my past, I'm still a human and to be slapping a demon was way out of line, her gaze dimmed.
Zerath stared at her for a long moment and then moved his gaze ahead, watching the sunlight-kissed trees.
"I never lived in an orphanage, but the farthest memory I can remember was living with my distant uncle and aunt. I remember their eyes were similar to the Matron's. Not much warmth in there. Their finances were already tight, and then they had to raise a relative's child on top of that. It was a hard time living there."
Vivia's lips parted for a second and then she closed them.
"Did they hit you?"
"Lack of money can bring violence in some hearts," he calmly said.
The silence felt heavy.
"I ran away one day. I didn't see a point living in that house. Streets became my home, and then it dawned upon me. I understood the concept of money because I didn't have any, but it was a necessity to eat, drink and sleep. I understood why my uncle and aunt got desperate. One more mouth to feed was one too many to afford."
She pressed her lips. "Did they ever try to find you?"
He smiled. "They were glad I was gone. Why bring that extra mouth back home?"
Her shoulders dropped.
"Don't be sad. It all worked out for the good. I'm not saying street life was very pleasant exactly..but I had my freedom. I did get into fights with thugs, but that was still a whole lot different than being hit by your family. It hurts more when the people you trust become your enemies. And then the most important part was that I got to meet my master."
He stopped in his steps and turned to face her.
"Which is why I'm not upset or angry at you. I'm furious at the Matron myself. She broke the childrens' trust. She was placed in the position to nurture them, not abuse them. I've experienced that kind of a life myself, so I'll never allow for something like that to happen under my watch."
Vivia's interlocked fingers trembled, and she pursed her lips hard to not stop her tears from flowing out. They continued walking under the shade of the tree.
"I was locked up once upon a time like that girl today, so I…kind of lost it," she said in a quiet voice just like Zerath had.
"The Matron at the orphanage I lived at was also corrupt, loaning out the money. The conditions we lived in were horrible. On top of that, she had a temper and everyone lived in fear. And because everyone lived in fear, the children there had developed a streak of nastiness over time. Being oppressed themselves, some had chosen to take that out on the younger kids."
Including you…
Zerath's breath caught in his throat. Living an oppressed life messed up minds at times. They couldn't retaliate against the one oppressing them, so some chose to take out that helplessness and bottled up anger by becoming oppressors themselves, which became their own defense mechanism.
"Is that why you don't like being here? In an orphanage."
Vivia gazed in the distance, the dark times of the past clouding her mind despite it being sunny outside. The cold despair had struck her nerves when she saw the little demoness locked up and bruised, as if she was reliving the tormenting days of her own all over again. She formed her response slowly and thoughtfully.
"The Matron was one thing. She was a menace. I understand that. She was an adult and so felt arrogant that she stood before some pesky children as the undefeatable God. That's why I had thought that at the very least, the children, all of us, would unite and stay together. We might or might not be able to fight her, but we'd be there for each other. Be in pain together, cry together, hope for a better tomorrow together."
The light in her eyes was fading away into a grey mistiness.
"But that didn't happen. The children became a smaller version of the Matron themselves. I thought we'd wait for the angel together, but they had grown up to become monsters. They started hitting the younger and weaker ones. It was miserable because whether it was her or the children, the rest of us were completely surrounded by hatred and abuse. It was a betrayal of trust I just couldn't wrap my head around. No matter where I turned, it only looked dark and hopeless…"
Vivia softly kicked a pebble lying on the ground that hopped over the grass to the other side.
"I don't like orphanages. After I was thrown out, I never went back, nor did I ever visit any other orphanages. I know it's strange to say this, probably very mean and biased too, but I…don't like the children here, or from any orphan homes. I don't meet with them. I can't smile at them. I can't feel warm when I see them. I'm aware I shouldn't be generalizing like this-"
"It's okay. You don't have to explain or give a reason. You've the right to feel what you feel after what you went through," he said, his soft voice filled with a gentle reassurance.
It was when Zerath understood why she had been so hostile toward the kid before who had tried to cut the line. He was taken aback to see that cold side of hers when she had showered Eurus with nothing but sincere love and warmth. Watching that kid oppressing the younger one had evoked the bitter memories within her - her own oppression by the hands of older kids.
He took a moment for that realization and pain to stay still in his mind. His fingers tightened the grasp on his knuckles. Street life wasn't any different. If you didn't learn to stand up and fight for yourself, it would be only time until you were eaten alive. He knew that that experience most definitely shaped her into the tough woman she was today.
Yet…he still wished that she wouldn't have gone through such a bleak childhood. He liked it more when she was cheerful and smiling - not the despondent Vivia filled with despair. He hated seeing the sadness in his eyes, and it made him wish that he could fill those same eyes with such sheer happiness she would have never felt before.