Hikigaya was frozen in his seat, his expression stiff as stone.
Just minutes ago, in the middle of class, a shameful thought had flickered across his mind. He had always been bothered by Kasumigaoka-senpai's constant leg-shaking during lessons—it was distracting, annoying, and for some reason, oddly mesmerizing. Somewhere deep in the pit of his rotten imagination, he'd even entertained the outrageous thought of firmly placing his hand on those legs clad in elegant black stockings.
The "logical" part of his brain had rationalized it like this: first, it would stop her from shaking her leg; second, well… Kasumigaoka-senpai's slender, smooth jade legs looked dangerously tempting.
To his eternal disgrace, another part of him—the part of Hikigaya Hachiman he wished didn't exist—thought: I kind of… want to lick them.
Of course, that was nothing more than the ugliest fantasy of a hopeless loner. In reality, Hikigaya was the kind of guy who had the intention but never the guts. Even if the world was ending tomorrow, he absolutely wouldn't dare to lay a finger on a girl's leg. Not voluntarily. Not ever.
Or so he told himself.
And yet—
"I, Hikigaya Hachiman, actually... actually touched Kasumigaoka-senpai's black silk-stocking-ed foot during class?!"
His mind reeled as he sat stiffly at his desk, replaying the moment.
This had to be the work of some dark curse, an evil force lurking inside him! There was no way he would have lost his self-control otherwise! Yes, that was it—it wasn't him. It was some sinister power possessing him in that instant.
Still... excuse or not, his hand had moved. He had crossed a line.
Fortunately, the teacher hadn't noticed. Even more miraculously, Kasumigaoka hadn't screamed or called him out on the spot. If either had happened, he would've ascended straight into social hell.
Ugh! Kasumigaoka-senpai, forgive me! If kneeling before you could erase the shame, I would drop to the floor right now!
Well, maybe not during math class. That would've only made it worse. And after class... he hadn't even been given the chance to kneel.
Because the moment the bell rang, Kasumigaoka Utaha, the queenly upperclassman with flowing black hair and sharp tongue, unleashed her full arsenal. Sarcasm. Ridicule. Mockery. Taunts. She picked through her dictionary of humiliation and tested each entry on him, one after another.
Remembering that verbal barrage now made Hikigaya shiver like a scolded child, shrinking under the invisible weight of her words.
To make things worse, Kato Megumi had glanced over at him several times during the ordeal. Her face looked indifferent, as always, but Hikigaya noticed her faintly surprised eyes. Almost as if even she couldn't believe that he—a socially invisible background character—would boldly reach out to touch Kasumigaoka's leg.
He couldn't read her thoughts, but he knew this was bad. Terrible, even. If Kato wanted, she could hold this over his head forever. The demon lord of stillness, silently blackmailing him into doing evil errands in the future… yeah, he could see it now.
By the time morning classes ended, Hikigaya felt like he had aged a decade. Tormented on one side by Kasumigaoka's biting words, haunted on the other by Kato's silent stare.
He trudged out of the classroom with heavy steps.
"Sigh... another unlucky day."
His sigh echoed with the weight of a thousand loner complaints. He dragged himself toward the cafeteria like a prisoner marching to his execution.
But just as he entered the bustling space, his instincts sharpened. His dead fish eyes caught sight of a familiar figure near the bakery counter.
Oh no.
Why is she here?
Standing there, framed by the light pouring in from the windows, was Yukinoshita Yukino. Her dignified presence made her stand out even amidst the crowd. Hikigaya's heart skipped a beat, and his first instinct was to retreat. Run. Escape before she noticed.
But then—
"Hikigaya-kun, good afternoon."
A soft, bell-like voice reached his ears, freezing him in place.
It's over. No escape.
"G-good afternoon," Hikigaya stammered, forcing his lips into something resembling a polite response. He sighed inwardly, resigning himself to his fate. "Are you... here to buy bread?"
"Yes," Yukinoshita replied with a graceful smile, dimples faintly showing. "I woke up a little late today, so I didn't have time to prepare breakfast."
He quickly averted his gaze.
On one hand, it was because Yukinoshita's smile was dangerously radiant, almost too beautiful to face head-on. Hikigaya was worried that if he stared too long, his cheeks might betray him with a blush. On the other hand, the guilt gnawed at him like a curse. He had—against all odds and his usual cowardice—taken the initiative to touch another girl's foot. Not just anyone's, but Kasumigaoka-senpai's.
That fact alone made standing in front of Yukinoshita right now feel like standing before a divine judge.
"Then I'll trouble you, Hikigaya-kun, to buy me a pineapple bun," Yukinoshita said lightly, as though it were the most natural request in the world.
Since her boyfriend was right there, she saw no need for formalities. She simply sent Hikigaya into battle—the crowded counter of the cafeteria.
"...A pineapple bun?" Hikigaya's tone cracked ever so slightly, his expression stiff.
Yukinoshita tilted her head. "Is there a problem?"
"N-no…"
Feeling the weight of Yukinoshita's sharp yet curious eyes, Hikigaya quickly shook his head. With the air of a condemned man, he threw himself into the swarm of hungry students, elbows and shoulders colliding as he fought through the chaos.
Several minutes later, Hikigaya emerged, hair slightly ruffled, uniform tugged at in the skirmish, but still in one piece. In his hands were three loaves of bread.
"H-here, take it." He handed over the pineapple bun.
Yukinoshita accepted it with her usual grace. "How much? I'll pay you back."
"What's our relationship? No need."
"…That's true."
Though she answered calmly, Yukinoshita's lips curved ever so slightly. There was warmth there, a quiet joy that slipped past her usual composure. But her sharp eyes quickly honed in on the detail Hikigaya had been praying she wouldn't notice—he was holding not one but two pieces of bread. And one of them… was also a pineapple bun.
"Hikigaya-kun," she said smoothly, "with your appetite, I doubt you'd be able to finish two. Would you care to explain?"
"...Eh?"
Her voice carried no malice, but those eyes—those piercing, all-seeing eyes—made his blood run cold. Hikigaya instantly looked away, guilt leaking from every pore.
"I-I bought it for… a classmate."
"A classmate?" Yukinoshita's lips quirked upward, the faintest trace of amusement dancing across her face. "Hmm, that's strange. I don't recall Hikigaya-kun having many friends in his new class. Could it be… you've already made new friends at the start of the school year? My, what a miracle."
Oi, oi, oi!
How far had she dug into his life already? Even his lack of acquaintances in his new class? Yukinoshita, don't tell me you're actually monitoring me like some undercover agent!
And that last sarcastic jab was unnecessary!
"I-I mean… she—no, uh, h-he—!" Hikigaya stammered, words tripping over themselves as the pressure mounted.
"No need to panic, Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita's voice softened, her smile gentler now. She looked at him not with suspicion but with quiet confidence, as though testing him wasn't the point at all. "I won't scold you. On the contrary, I encourage you. I want you to make friends. Yes, I hope Hikigaya-kun will interact more with classmates in his new class."
"…Eh?" Hikigaya blinked, stunned. He hadn't expected this outcome at all.
"Make new friends?"
"Yes," Yukinoshita replied firmly, her tone shifting to that of a strict instructor. "Because Hikigaya-kun is rather… pitiful. All alone in his class, without anyone to talk to. How can you continue like that?"
"…Tch."
So that's what this is—pity! She's looking at me like a stray dog that no one wants to adopt! Stop it, Yukinoshita. Don't you dare pity me!
"Friends or whatever don't matter," Hikigaya muttered weakly. "This is senior year… studies are what's important."
"How can you say that!" Yukinoshita suddenly snapped, her words sharp like a whip. Her eyes flared with seriousness. "Hikigaya-kun, if you keep hiding like this, you'll only end up reclusive again, just like before your second year! I won't allow that. I'm giving you a task: within one week, you must make at least three friends of the opposite gender! No excuses!"
"Haaah?!" Hikigaya's jaw practically hit the cafeteria floor. "Three… friends… in a week? And they all have to be girls?!"
This was no simple request—this was a nightmare straight out of hell! Yukinoshita, what kind of devil are you to hand down such a merciless decree?!
"Yes." Yukinoshita's voice was final, leaving no room for argument. "It's decided."
"But why the opposite gender?! Wouldn't normal friends be enough?!"
Strangely, Yukinoshita's tone remained calm, almost playful. "Because it adds challenge, of course. Hikigaya-kun grows best when pushed outside his comfort zone."
Her expression was serene, but the sparkle of mischief in her eyes betrayed her satisfaction.
Hikigaya's face twisted in agony. "The opposite gender is just… too…"
"I know what you mean." Yukinoshita cut him off, her smile sweet yet unmistakably sly. "But I trust Hikigaya-kun's character. You wouldn't do anything behind my back to betray me… right?"
Her smile… was a weapon sharper than any blade.
Oi, oi, oi! That fake smile is way too obvious! Did she take lessons from Haruno?!
"Of course not… I wouldn't dare." Hikigaya exhaled in defeat, shoulders slumping. His words were meek, but resistance was futile.
Yukinoshita, now holding her pineapple bread like a prized victory, prepared to leave. But before turning, she gave him one last order. "Remember, Hikigaya-kun. Three friends. Opposite gender. Within a week. I'll be checking."
"I-I get it…"
Why the opposite gender, though?!
As Yukinoshita's figure drifted away, Hikigaya stood frozen, sighing in despair. This was a death flag if there ever was one. Within a week… where in the world was he supposed to find three female friends?!
Dragging his feet like a condemned man, Hikigaya eventually bid farewell to Yukinoshita and made his way toward the rooftop. He had an appointment there with Kasumigaoka-senpai, and judging by his luck today, things were only going to get worse.