Two weeks later things had settled back in some semblance of normalcy. Well, as close as a group like the Avenger's was going to get. Pepper was back to full strength, much to Tony's great relief and she was working to put together her security detail. He'd managed to talk Bruce, Thor and Steve into basing themselves at what they now called the Avenger's Tower and things were settling into a routine of sorts. Pepper's security was still of paramount to concern to him, but Tony had put something into place which made him feel a little more relaxed about her moving around without him. Right now though, Tony had decided on a new project and that new project was staring back at him warily in the purpose built training room.
"This isn't a good idea," Bruce warned him as they faced off, Tony already in his Iron Man suit.
"No, it isn't," Tony agreed readily, his helmet was slid back, faced exposed, as he tried to talk the other man into coming to the party, "because this is a great idea, Bruce."
Thor and Steve watched from the viewing station above. "I'm going to enjoy this," said Steve in satisfaction as he looked down at the two men below.
Thor gave him a sideways look. "That is not very noble-minded of you, Steve Rogers."
"I've had my fill of Frosty the Snowman and Grandpa jokes," said Steve dourly. "I'm ready to see Stark get that smart mouth of his handed to him. Come on, Thor, don't tell me you don't feel the same way. He's always got something smart to say about you too."
"Why should a bear worry about the mosquito buzzing around its ear?" Thor replied.
"Because it feels really good to splatter it with your giant paw after it's been so annoying?" Steve countered.
Thor made a face, conceding the point.
Steve looked back down at the two men below, leaning on the guard rail. "Twenty bucks says Iron Man doesn't move as fast as Tony's mouth and the Hulk crinkles him into a metal ball in five minutes."
Thor considered the bet. "I will accept your wager, Steve Rogers, and place mine on him lasting no longer than six minutes."
Steve arched an eyebrow. "Six?"
Thor indicated the confined space of the training room. "Tis a limited space, Iron Man will temporarily have the upper hand with increased mobility against the beast."
"You're on," said Steve and the two men shook hands.
Tony ignored the peanut gallery above them, instead focusing on the reluctant man in front of him. "Now, I know you've been all about controlling Bruce Banner in the past," said Tony, "but I think you're going about it the wrong way. It's the other guy that has to get some practice in at self-control, not you. Just think if the Hulk could be trained to be a little more, umm, shall we say, directed in a fight, and less indiscriminately smashy, how great that would be?"
Bruce scowled, clearly not convinced.
Steve shook his head. "Oh, the sweet irony of Tony Stark giving lessons on self-control," he noted wryly.
"Mayhap he read of such things in a book," Thor pondered.
"If he picked up that book, it was only because there were naked women on the cover," said Steve dourly.
"Come on, Bruce," Tony cajoled him, "you're already wearing the giant pants."
Bruce was indeed standing there clutching a large pair of stretch pants to his body to prevent them falling down around his ankles.
A boyish glee lit up Tony's face. "I say, time to fill 'em." He gave Bruce a curious look. "Quick question in relation to the pants issue, B. When you change into that rather sizeable other guy, does that mean everything on your body-"
"No," said Bruce shortly.
Tony pulled a pained expression. "Ouch, that's got to hurt if you lose your pants in the heat of battle, what with that whole proportion thing being out of whack. It's probably a real good thing you don't remember your time as the other guy, if that's the case."
Bruce didn't look amused. "I mean no, I'm not talking about the Hulk's genitalia with you."
This only made Tony more intrigued. "Is that because you don't know what happens to it, or is it because you've got a Ken doll situation going on?"
"I want to change my bet," said Steve quickly. "Fifty bucks says Bruce just clobbers him and has done with it."
Thor chuckled. "I would give you thy wager to see that, Steve Rogers."
Bruce was glaring at Tony. "You're making the other guy angry."
"I know, I know, I won't like you when you're angry," Tony sighed. "We've all heard your catch cry."
"Less talk, more pulverising," Steve called out from above them. "This is exciting as watching paint dry."
Tony waved them away. "If you're not here to help-"
"We're not," Steve shot back.
Tony kept talking. "Then keep your opinions to yourself."
Steve had news for him. "You're going to die."
"What did I just say?" asked Tony in exasperation.
"That's not an opinion, that's a fact," Steve said with a smirk.
Bruce pulled a face. "Steve is right. I've got no control over the Hulk. He could destroy this place and kill everyone here."
Thor crossed his large arms across his even larger chest. "I do not believe your beomuth could kill me, Bruce Banner."
Tony grimaced, annoyed at the continual interruptions. "That's great, David Lee Roth, we're all very happy to hear that. Now, can I get back to training?" He didn't wait for an answer, simply fixed Bruce with a determined look. "Bruce, the Hulk is amazing, I just want to make sure said amazement is directed at the bad guys and away from us."
"And you really think you can train the Hulk?" asked Bruce sceptically.
"Absolutely."
"And if you're wrong?"
"That happens so rarely, it's hardly worth worrying about," said Tony blithely.
"Alright," said Bruce reluctantly, "but if this goes badly-"
"It won't," said Tony confidently. He activated his Iron Man helmet so his face was fully enclosed, his voice becoming vaguely metallic sounding. "Come on, Bruce, let that bad boy out to play."