Chapter 7:
Evil Merchant
"ECHIGOYA, you're quite wicked yourself!"
A lot of people probably knew this line. In my past life, the
stereotypical "evil merchant" in media was usually named Echigoya. Wonder
how the real Echigoya feels about that.
Before I get up to any mischief as an evil lord, I'll need to introduce
you to my Echigoya—or rather, my personal purveyor of goods. He was a
plump man with a mustache, the spitting image of an evil merchant, named
Thomas Henfrey.
After I had shaped my crumbling domain into a more developed planet,
Thomas came here to do business with me. By "business," I meant
interplanetary trade. I wasn't sure I needed my own personal merchant in a
society where there was spaceflight, but Thomas was one of those
businessmen who were able to travel between planets.
He and his fellows did business not just within the Empire, but with
worlds in other intergalactic networks. Basically, they could bring rare
resources or goods from planets that were incredibly distant. Thus, these
merchants were hugely different from the ones who operated solely within
my domain. It was important for the continued development of my territory
that I deal with their kind.
As I sat across from Thomas in my reception room, a low table
between us, I asked, "Did you bring those yellow sweets with you?"
Thomas wiped sweat from his brow and handed me a case filled with
bars of gold—the "yellow sweets." In other words, a bribe. This was
indispensable for an exchange between an evil lord and an evil merchant. I'd
seen it countless times in historical dramas in the past, so I was sure of it.
Thomas wore a troubled look on his face, so I was sure it had taken some
effort to scrape up this much.
"Of course. Please enjoy, my lord."
I accepted the case, and its weight in my hands caused me to grin. I felt
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my lips curling into a smile from the heavy weight of it. Mimicking the
dialogue I'd seen between nefarious stock characters countless times over, I
declared, "Echigoya, you're quite wicked yourself!"
"As I keep telling you, my lord, we are the Henfrey Company."
Thomas replied in the same way he always did, so I decided to stop
messing around.
"Just joking."
"R-right. Naturally."
Our scripted exchange came to an end.
"So," I said, "I assume you didn't just come to say hi." Since he'd
brought me a bribe, I was certain he needed a major favor.
"Well, I have to pass through a bit of an unsafe sector for a deal, so I
was hoping I could borrow one of your fleets for protection. One hundred
ships would do it, I think."
So he wants my military to protect him. I'm sure that's just an excuse,
though, and he actually wants to use my muscle for some evil scheme. Well,
as long as I'll profit, I don't mind lending my services.
"Are you going somewhere that dangerous?"
"It's not the place I'm going to that's dangerous. To get there, I have to
pass through an area with numerous pirate bases. There are merchants who
have been attacked two or three times in a single day in that region."
Space pirates were a troublesome bunch, and the type of trouble they
caused varied wildly. There were small-time people who'd whip out weapons
from generations past, and then there were the real dangerous types, like
deserters from the military. Guys like that also worked as mercenaries and
had real combat experience. Pirate fleets that had plenty of personnel and a
good amount of decent equipment that posed an extreme threat.
I shot a glance at Amagi, who was waiting behind me, and she picked
up on what I wanted to ask. "I will ready one hundred ships at once."
Looking back at Thomas, I nodded. "Very well. I'll help you out, but
you know what I want in return, hm?"
Thomas gave a relieved sigh, but he still seemed nervous. "O-of course
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I do, but...er, I'll bring some more yellow sweets the next time I visit."
"Those are important, yes, but what's most important is that I profit.
You'll make sure I do, won't you?" If I'm not going to make anything from
this, there's no point in lending him my military strength.
"O-of course, my lord!"
"Okay, then! Amagi, make the arrangements."
"Certainly."
As my personal purveyor, you'll make sure I profit, won't you,
Echigoya—I mean, Henfrey Company? I'm sure you'll be using me, so I'll
just use you as well.
***
After his meeting with Liam, Thomas headed for the planet's orbital
spaceport, where his large transport vessel was docked. House Banfield's
spaceport was doughnut-shaped, with intricate webs of passageways leading
to spaceship docks. As House Banfield increased in scale, its spaceport was
also under constant renovation.
Thomas took a shuttle into space from the planet's surface and soon
arrived at the spaceport. He had a bag in hand and an entourage of
subordinates and guards. The spaceport was all moving walkways, so you
could get to your destination just by standing still. Annoyingly, some vessels
had to dock farther away from the spaceport's main body, but with Thomas's
connections to House Banfield, he was allowed a convenient spot.
The ceilings of the passages to the docked ships were dome-shaped and
allowed one to see the view beyond. Everyone peered up at Liam's planet,
which loomed directly above them.
Evidently bored by the journey, one of Thomas's subordinates piped
up, "House Banfield's domain sure has advanced, huh? I'm impressed that
this count could restore so much of it at his young age."
Thomas had visited House Banfield's territory for business a number of
times in the past. The planet had indeed seen rapid growth over the last few
decades, enough that he hardly recognized it as the same place. Surmising
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that the reason for the planet's quick growth was its new lord, Liam, Thomas
had decided to pursue a position as House Banfield's personal merchant.
Before Liam, House Banfield had lacked financial credit. In fact, it was in the
red, and no merchants would deal with it. It might've seemed high-risk for
Thomas to attach himself to Liam, but by now he felt he was achieving some
hefty returns.
"He's different from other nobles. There's something strange about
him, but...he's a wise ruler."
No one around him objected to that judgment. Considering Liam
demanded bribes at every meeting, how could he have been deemed wise?
The Empire's values might have had something to do with it.
Still, the subordinate looked puzzled. "Why does he always demand
gold, though? It's not a resource his territory is particularly lacking, is it?
Sure, it's a precious metal, but doesn't he require anything else?"
Thomas didn't actually know the answer to that himself, so he wasn't
sure how to respond. "I've often wondered that too—why gold? I even feel a
bit bad. Not that I'm complaining. Once I presented him with some mithril
and magical gems, but he wasn't satisfied. He's always excited to receive
gold, though."
This universe was a fantasy world of swords and magic, and as such,
there were plenty of more precious metals: mithril, adamantite, orichalcum,
and so on. There were also magical gemstones and various treasures more
valuable than gold. And yet, gold was all Liam desired. To Thomas, it was as
if Liam were delighted at receiving a measly souvenir every time he visited.
Its worth just didn't match up with the benefits Thomas was seeing from their
relationship.
His subordinates were just as confused as he. "What an odd person."
They would never understand why Liam demanded gold, and how
could they? It was only because in his previous life, on Earth, gold had
possessed great value. However, that value came from the fact that there was
a limited amount of it. In this world, gold had some value as a precious metal,
but not nearly as much as something like mithril, a silver metal imbued with
holy power. Usually, one would be happy to receive something like mithril,
and since it was rarer than gold, it was treated as more valuable.
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"He's a very humble person, I suppose."
Compared to the benefits Thomas saw as the personal merchant of
House Banfield, the bribes Liam demanded were mere pocket change—a
drop in the bucket. Thomas actually felt guilty about it.
Arriving at the end of the connecting passage, Thomas boarded his
ship. "This station's really got all the conveniences now, hasn't it?"
As his ship left the spaceport, Thomas gazed back at it. The upgraded
facilities boasted so much in the way of accommodations that things were
starting to get a bit crowded. There were plans to build a second spaceport,
and House Banfield would no doubt continue to thrive. Thomas was ever
impressed at the amount Liam poured into his domain.
"I've heard he invests almost all of the taxes he collects. He makes it
seem so easy, and to do it all at his age... He's something special, all right.
Just imagine the state this place would be in if House Banfield didn't have all
that debt."
He glanced at his subordinates. "This deal will be more dangerous than
our usual ventures, but it will be very important for House Banfield. We'll
make a nice profit here, and it's our turn to give back to our employer."
It would in fact be greatly beneficial to House Banfield if the Henfrey
Company succeeded in their current venture. The firm had no reason to brave
such danger for its own sake, but Thomas sincerely desired to give back to
Liam after how kindly the count had treated him.
He was not an evil merchant.
***
Brian had come to Liam's office. "Another bribe, Master Liam?"
"I'm within my rights, am I not?"
"It's an enviable position to be in, sure, but..."
After finishing with his work, Liam had been admiring the gold he'd
received from Thomas, the bars all lined up on his desk. Brian wished he
could speak up more about Liam accepting these bribes so openly. He seems
so happy to receive it. Is he being humble?
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Liam was discussing how to make use of the gold with Amagi.
"Gold really is the ultimate treasure. What do you think, Amagi?"
Beside him, Amagi was preparing him some tea. "I believe it suffices.
However, may I ask why you desire gold, Master?"
"Hmm?"
Brian found himself nodding. Yes, there's the question! Why gold
specifically? I really am curious.
Liam gazed at a gold bar in his hand, his expression appearing
somewhat lonesome. "I guess it's a symbol of the nouveau riche. And gold
has real value too, value that won't change. You don't think that's
wonderful?"
Amagi and Brian exchanged glances, and this time, Brian spoke up.
"Er, Master Liam?"
"What is it?"
"You're aware that things like mithril have much more value than gold,
yes?"
"Huh? Of course I am."
"Th-then, why not request mithril?"
Liam set down the bar of gold and gave a heavy sigh.
His lord's sheer disappointment startled Brian. "Have I made some
mistake?"
"Nothing but mistakes. Where's the fun in showing off rare metals like
mithril, orichalcum, and adamantite?"
Brian, personally, would have been elated to receive them. "Well,
women like to receive mithril rings, do they not?"
"That's not what I'm asking! Mithril and orichalcum, for instance, have
value because you can use them to make things, right? They're not just for
show." According to Liam, other metals had no use as decorations.
Amagi agreed with him. Those metals had value because they were
useful. "A reasonable judgment."
Brian also saw his reasoning and decided not to say anything further in
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response. Instead, he spoke about gold. "That is true. However, gold was a
symbol of success in ancient times due to its scarcity, and it took on all sorts
of other meanings as well. Don't you think it's rather superstitious to treasure
it?"
Liam wasn't very interested in superstition. With a thoughtful hum, he
said, "Well, whatever the case, we're going to make these into gold coins.
Brian, take them to be minted."
"Master Liam, need I remind you that I am your butler? But very well,
I'll get to it."
***
Things never really go according to plan. When I was a child in my
past life, everyone had the idea that in the future we'd have flying cars, but
when you grew up, you realized that even if flying cars existed, they
wouldn't be commonplace. Even in an intergalactic empire, the view from a
high-rise building—the penthouse of a classy hotel, for instance—wasn't that
different from the sort of views I saw in my past life. In fact, I'd go so far as
to say the metropolises of my past life were more developed than this. There
were high-rises here, but they weren't crammed together. It sounded nice to
say my planet was "teeming with nature," but in all honesty, there was just a
lot of undeveloped land.
"We're still pretty much the sticks," I grumbled.
Amagi, who was at my side, replied, "Your domain has developed by
leaps and bounds since you took over the peerage, Master. So much progress
has been made that the planet is nearly unrecognizable from how it was when
you became lord."
It was just like Amagi to think that way, but humans were all about
appearances, and to me, this planet was still the boondocks.
"That's just what the numbers say, right? It doesn't mean anything if it
doesn't feel that way to me. It's not the sight I want to see. The fashions are
all off too—that's why I never want to take any women home with me."
Sometimes, I'd walk through my domain and think about picking up
some girls, but their styles just weren't right for me. Lately, the women in my
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territory had started using their extra money to dress up and go shopping, but
it still wasn't what I envisioned.
It's like being in the modern era and seeing fashion from a generation
ago. That's not gonna get anyone excited! I like pure ladies, so how am I
supposed to be interested if everyone's dressed like fashionistas? Basically,
no one's my type, so I'm never in the mood! At this rate, I won't be able to
use my authority to drag women back to my mansion with me.
"We need to develop more. Especially in fashion."
"Is there really such a dire need?"
Cultures differed too much between planets in this world. Planets in the
Empire shared a number of similarities, but too many things set them apart. I
found some planets ideal, but I had to shake my head at many of their fashion
choices. I mean, even on Earth, there were a ton of different cultures between
countries. Expand the scope to multiple planets, and there was going to be
even more variance.
"I know—I'll recruit some fashion designers or something like that.
We've gotta invest in, uhh, cosmetology too! If we don't, my appetite will
never get going!"
It wasn't just the everyday wear on this planet I had a problem with.
When people went to the beach, they wore full-body swimsuits. My fantasy
certainly didn't involve young people frolicking on the beach with only their
faces exposed. Are you kidding me?! Where's the fun in that?! Why don't you
show some skin, people?! Unacceptable!
"I want models here too. If people are shown beauty, it's sure to
influence them. Let's have some famous people come visit!"
While I was throwing these new ideas out there, Amagi looked
troubled. Maid robots didn't have a wide range of facial expressions, but I
could decipher the slight changes in hers by now. We'd been together for
over forty years at this point, after all.
She said, "Our debt continues to pose problems for us. We may be
collecting more taxes now, but that means we are also making larger
payments. I cannot approve of any significant investments at present."
I still couldn't do what I really wanted because of House Banfield's
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crushing debt. As I gazed out the window, a ship flew by, heading for space
from the surface. This was probably the only futuristic sight you could see in
my domain. True, it was more developed here than when I was five, but it
was a dismal sight to me. This was just too far from my ideal world.
"Reality sure is boring."
Amagi showed me some holographic images. She had searched up a
number of fashion designers and models we could afford to hire.
"If you must bring designers and models here, we may be able to hire
these individuals."
I took a look at the images, and this time they were super futuristic.
Rather, they were too unique for me to consider. Why would you wear a
spinning hula hoop around your waist? The hair is striking, sure, but with
such a weird shape, doesn't it get in the way? This is the latest fashion? It's
not, like, for some costume contest? What exactly is fashion, anyway?
"This isn't what I was expecting."
Responding to my dissatisfaction, Amagi moved on to the next set of
images. "How about these? They are all popular models in the Empire."
"What is this?"
I found the models' styles even more striking, but only because certain
parts of their bodies were exaggerated. Their breasts, their butts—they varied
from extremely large to extremely small in different combinations.
"On this planet, South, a woman is considered more attractive the
larger her breasts are. For that reason, these women are South's top models."
The breasts of the models in question were immense. Too big! They're
so huge, I can't even find them attractive.
"Those are way too big! How do they even go about their day when
they're built like that?"
I like big boobs, but I don't want breasts so gigantic that they'd be a
hindrance in a woman's daily life. No, I don't even know if you can call these
breasts anymore.
Amagi dispassionately explained, "To the men in South, these women
are irresistible. In South, a woman's appeal lies entirely in her bust."
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"Guess that's why they don't put focus on anything else."
Next, Amagi showed me an image of men surrounding these models.
There were noticeably larger crowds around the women with oversized
chests. I simply couldn't understand the enthusiasm, the obsession with
breasts and nothing else.
"Denizens of this next planet value the nape of the neck over—"
"That's enough!"
I didn't understand the scale of an intergalactic society well enough.
The universe truly is vast.
***
House Banfield's space army was undergoing training. Its commander
was the brigadier general who had come from the Imperial Army. In House
Banfield's military, he'd been assigned the rank of lieutenant general, which
was two ranks higher. His vessel was a cutting-edge battleship, the likes of
which he never would've had in the Imperial Army. There were some flaws
in its interior design, but its specs were truly magnificent.
"Lord Banfield is quite generous," the general remarked.
The general's adjutant, a former major treated as a colonel by House
Banfield, had a mouth on him, but he was a capable subordinate. He'd been
booted out here to House Banfield's realm because his previous superior
hadn't liked his sarcastic comments.
"Couldn't agree more," he said. "We're treated a hell of a lot better
here than we were in the army. I'm almost grateful to the top brass for
demoting us. Not that you'd ever catch me thanking those guys."
By Imperial standards, House Banfield was the boonies, but it was a
comfortable enough place to live. It was no bustling metropolis, but the
planet was more developed than other backwater territories they'd been to.
Not only were the soldiers treated well, but the army functioned like a well-
oiled machine.
"Mind your mouth, would you, Colonel? In any case, the fleet's
quality, numbers, and capabilities are all fine, wouldn't you say?"
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Each ship was staffed by just the right amount of personnel, and they
all got regular training and time off. Altogether, they functioned perfectly as a
fleet.
"Feels a lot more fulfilling than languishing out on the frontier.
Everyone always looks cheerful. I suppose the only problem is that we have
to sortie a bit more than I'd like."
They'd been battling space pirates more frequently as of late. As the
planet developed more and more, it became a bigger target for nearby pirates,
and getting rid of them was one of the military's jobs.
"We're paid more than enough for the work."
"True enough! Lord Banfield's pretty much the ideal ruler, especially
compared to these nobles who say to just ignore pirates."
"Quite. He's already being called a wise ruler at his age, and I must say
I agree."
Some Empire nobles got involved with pirates and would tell their
military to ignore them. It was frustrating for the soldiers, but Liam would
never have done such a thing, hence his military's esteem for him.
"He's not even an adult yet, right? I thought all nobles were rotten, but
when I see him, I kinda have to wonder what was wrong with our old
superiors."
"Lord Banfield is a true noble. We're lucky to be able to serve under
him."
Before, the soldiers had felt they'd been abandoned by the military, but
they'd actually been given a superior who would put their full talents to use.
They were all highly motivated in their new stations.
***
For the first time in a while, a door between worlds opened, and the
Guide slipped through. As soon as he saw Liam's current situation, however,
the Guide was appalled.
"He hasn't done anything!"
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He'd thought Liam was planning on engaging in debauchery, but he
hadn't touched liquor or women. Abstaining from liquor was fine considering
he wasn't yet of age, but the reason he wasn't indulging in the company of
women was his mistrust of them, and because he couldn't find anyone he was
attracted to on his planet.
In no time at all, Liam had worked his way to becoming a proper ruler.
The state of his domain had improved with each of the Guide's visits.
"I'm immensely disappointed. I was so looking forward to this, and
now I feel betrayed. Why is he being treated like a wise leader when he's
supposed to be aiming for evil lord?"
The Guide also couldn't accept the small luxuries Liam enjoyed
because of his past-life sensibilities. The kid was actually pretty satisfied with
his life now, so he had plenty of room in his heart—room that was currently
devoted to gratitude for the Guide.
To make things even more frustrating, Liam's populace adored him
too. The appreciation amplified the pleasant feelings in his heart—the exact
opposite of what the Guide had hoped to savor. These emotions sickened
him, and he was plagued by heartburn, headaches, nausea, and dizziness. He
could endure the physical repercussions, but he couldn't shed his agitation.
In the end, the Guide planned to throw Liam down into hell eventually
one way or another, so he didn't mind it all too much. However, with the way
things were, the future the Guide desired would never arrive no matter what
happened. If he left things alone, Liam was sure to be a sensible lord until his
last breath.
"What a letdown. At this rate, nothing rewarding is going to happen."
He'd wanted to see the people stewing in dissatisfaction for their evil
lord, the military plotting a rebellion, the women Liam had forced to his side
wishing to kill him. Instead, the people practically revered their humble lord,
the military had devoted their lives to him, and Liam didn't even have any
women at his side—meaning there was nothing to stir up his bitter memories
of his past life.
Is he really trying to be evil? the Guide wondered, doubtful.
"Well, let's at least topple this domain he's built up before it's all over.
I see there are some space pirates nearby who should do the trick."
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Black smoke spilled out from the Guide's form and dissolved into the
air around him. He looked down at Liam with cold eyes, and said with a
voice just as frigid, "I hope you can at least entertain me at the end. I'm going
to stay right here and enjoy the rest of the show."
***
A storm of missiles rained down upon a planet far from House
Banfield's domain, creating massive explosions on the surface and charring
the earth to ash. From the bridge of a nearby space vessel, a pirate watched
the devastation of the beautiful planet.
This man, who commanded a fleet of more than thirty thousand pirate
ships, was named Goaz. He'd named the fleet after himself, calling it the
Goaz Pirate Gang, and they had a hefty bounty on their heads. His black
beard, bulging muscles, and scarred, shaved head made him look rugged. He
laughed heartily, swigging liquor from a bottle clutched in his fist as he
watched the carnage below.
"I can never get enough of this part!"
As Goaz chortled away, one of his lackeys couldn't help commenting,
"Do we really have to go this far, Captain?"
Goaz clamped a huge hand on the man's head. Some of the
surrounding pirates averted their eyes, while others looked on with disgust,
thinking, What an idiot.
"And who told you to share your opinion, eh? Don't get in the way of
my fun!"
"C-Captain, wai—!"
With just the one hand, he crushed the man's skull. Another lackey
waiting nearby carefully wiped Goaz's hand clean. As his men carried the
body out and cleaned up the area, Goaz resumed watching the planetary
destruction from a monitor on the bridge.
He placed that same hand on a golden box he seemed to treasure. The
box, which had a kind of crest on it, was always at his side. He kept it so
close, in fact, that he carried it around in a special holster. He stroked the box
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gently now as though it were precious.
"Another easy job." That was his comment after destroying an entire
planet and all the people who dwelt on it. To anyone, that line would have
made the full extent of the man's villainy amply clear. Goaz also had a
personal bounty on him, which was an incredible sum. If someone could take
out Goaz and the Goaz Pirate Gang, they could live lavishly for the rest of
their days and still have money to spare. That was how dangerous this man
was.
Goaz's right-hand man spoke, trying not to upset him. "It was another
big haul today, eh? By the way, what do you intend to do with that girl you
took a liking to? You've got a new one now, so do you think it's time to get
rid of her?"
Goaz grinned, showing his yellowed teeth. "Guess so. It's probably
time to focus on the new toy. I did have a lot of fun with that one, though."
His adjutant had the same vulgar grin. "I'm surprised she managed to
maintain her sense of self after being your toy, Boss. Anyway, what do you
wanna do next? Take a nice vacation somewhere?"
Just as Goaz was about to agree, he saw some sort of black smoke. He
rubbed his eyes, but it was gone, so he figured it had just been his
imagination. Then he had a great idea. "No... Wait."
"Boss?"
"I've heard rumors lately of a brat around here who's gettin' a big
head. What was his name—Banfield? They're callin' him a 'wise ruler.' Say
he's workin' real hard out on this planet in the sticks."
His right-hand man also recalled those rumors and anticipated what
Goaz wanted to say. "Yeah, I've been hearing a lot about him lately. So our
next prey'll be Banfield, then?"
Goaz had nothing to fear from nobility—not with his special treasure,
after all.
"There's nothin' better than tearing down something somebody spent a
long time building, is there? Plus, this job ended too fast... I'm bored
already."
His adjutant nodded. "Well, we'll set a course for House Banfield,
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then."
Goaz licked his lips. "Time to teach that arrogant little brat a lesson."
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