Tim's head was hurting, emotions bottled up. He grabbed the door handle and pushed it open, entering the coffee shop.
"Morning, Anna!" He said, walking up to the counter. He placed his hands on the counter, leaning forward to search for Anna who was outside his sight. Eyes darting from side to side.
"I'm here." She called to him from a table she was serving. Anna waved at him and the people sitting at the table mimicked her( for some reason, I ain't no psychologist or something, don't ask).
Tim rushed over to help her carry their dirty dishes back to the kitchen. "Let me help." He said while taking some of the plates she was holding. With a smile on his lips he followed her into the kitchen.
In the kitchen the two of them put down the dishes into the sink for them to be rinsed and put into the dishwasher by Lukas once he comes in about an hour.
"Want me to rinse them?" Tim asked. Not waiting for her to answer, he turned on the water.
Anna grabbed the faucet and turned it back off. "Leave some work for Lukas, he should have to work for his paycheck." She said, a vein showing on her forehead because she thinks of Lukas. She threw a handkerchief at Tim for him to dry his hands again. She then turned back to the exit of the kitchen, grabbing Tim's arm to pull him with her.
Tim just followed her silently. "About last time…" He tried to speak. The words got stuck in his throat and it dried up parallel with her hands.
Anna walked up to the counter to serve a customer. "Yes yes, sorry about that." She said before continuing with a smile, "What can I get you?" She quickly nodded while writing down the customer's order and giving him a small piece of cake from the tray of free baked goods. "Coming right up, please wait at a table." She said and turned back to Tim after the customer had paid and went to an empty table.
"So…"
She sighed, "I did that to make Lukas angry. I apologise for not asking in advance, but I was so angry… eh, sorry." She walked past him with a let down expression.
Tim's head also hung low but a small smile spread across his lips. He was so scared about the reason she had kissed him. "Good… good. I was scared for a bit." He muttered, "I did not want to hurt your feelings or something."
Anna spun around in less than a moment walking back towards him, opening her mouth: "Don't you dare think I have any kinds of feelings for you that extend over friendship! And worry… because of that crazy guy."
Tim held his hands up. "Sorry…" He whispered, kind of hurt but also a little happy.
"And where the FUCK have you been the night? I went to your house but your brother told me you were sleeping at Lukas' house. And what did you do last night? Saw you on the news this morning."
"I—"
"Don't!" She dared him to speak with her eyes, "We will talk later." Anna turned back around to finish the order of the previous customer.
"He… he attacked me!" Tim said, scared she would get angry.
To his surprise she just went silent.
"Are you… okay?"
She put her hand to her forehead. "Please just— Be quiet 'til later." She picked up the two plates and walked away, leaving Tim alone behind the counter.
He left the shop while she was still at the table, talking to customers. His mind was filled with panic: "Does she hate me?" Tears of fear filled his eyes, "Am I a bad person?" His legs started trembling and sweat started pouring from his pores.
Some people looked at him with worry while others looked at him annoyed or disgusted as he moved towards a wall to keep himself standing.
"I… I killed someone." He thought back to the moment his knife punctured the robber's chest, the moment he pushed Lina down the stairs, "Did he lie? To make me feel better?" He asked and thought about the day Jake died.
If he had not left him, they probably would not have been attacked, Jake might still be alive if it was not for his emotional outburst and him running away to think alone, instead of talking to Jake about his feelings. "I am responsible for all their deaths." Weirdly, the tears dried, "I'm a monster…"
"Most people would say you deserve death." Alex told him, having sneaked up on him with his wheelchair, "Did you ever see a movie, or a show and, after seeing what someone did, thought a certain person should die?"
Tim looked into Alex's eyes, nodding.
"That is how a lot of people would think about you, if you told them what you did. Having killed three people and all." His words hit Tim hard. This 16 year old boy was lecturing him, a 19 year old, about the things he did and his feelings. "Do you feel that way about yourself? Or are you willing to accept your misdeeds and live with them, trying to atone for your sins for the rest of your life?"
"You're telling me I deserve death?" Tim asked.
Alex just shrugged. "If that is your conclusion, sure, why not?"
Tim looked away from Alex, into the crowd: "I think… I think I will kill myself." He started crying at the thought that he would die, "It will stop the pain, and I will atone for what I did by paying with my life!"