About two hours later, the light outside had faded into dull gray that crept timidly through the grimy windows. Hana had been sitting still beside Lyra the entire time, her hand resting gently on Lyra's arm, as if she were afraid their connection might break if she let go.
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Lyra stirred. Her eyelids twitched, opened carefully, and her red eyes wandered aimlessly across the ceiling for a moment before finding Hana. They stared at each other in silence, while Hana's heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vise.
"Hey," Lyra said in a weak voice. "You're still here."
"Of course I'm still here." Hana's voice sounded rough, almost broken with relief. "I'm not just gonna run off."
Lyra looked away, her gaze drifting toward the window. "You do that all the time, though…"
Hana flinched as if Lyra had slapped her.
"I'm sorry. I… I didn't think you worried that much."
"You didn't think?" Lyra closed her eyes briefly, took a deep breath, then continued. "O-Of course I worry…"
Hana lowered her head. Her hair fell into her face, hiding the pain gathering in her eyes.
"All of a sudden, again? I'm just fucking scared of getting close to you again, Lyra," Hana whispered. "That someday you'll get sick of me and push me away again, like back then…" She took a deep breath and hesitated.
"…after the accident…"
Her voice started to tremble.
"I needed you so much back then…"
She broke. Every word tore something open inside her. "You ignored every f-fucking message I sent y-you…"
Lyra slowly sat up, fighting off the dizziness until she was sitting somewhat steadily. Her hand searched blindly at her side and stopped just next to Hana's.
For a moment, nothing happened.
Hana stared at the outstretched hand, unsure whether she should risk it. Whether she even still could be that close to someone. Her fingers moved hesitantly.
Then she gently placed them into Lyra's palm. Carefully. As if Lyra might let go at any second.
Lyra closed her fingers around hers. Not tightly. Just enough to be there.
"Hana, I…"
Her voice shook, her gaze softened.
"I never wanted to hurt you. Every time I thought about you, all I could think about was my guilt. I couldn't reply."
Lyra took a short breath.
"I was so selfish. And stupid. Too stupid to understand the damage I dealt."
Lyras grip tightened, like she was only just realizing Hana was still there. And that it wasn't something she could take for granted.
"Are we… still friends?" Hana suddenly asked, her fingers brushing uncertainly over Lyra's.
Lyra exhaled deeply. Her gaze wandered over Hana's face, which looked so vulnerable in the dim light. So different from the defiant mask Lyra was used to seeing.
"I always wished we were… even if I couldn't show it," Lyra said with a faint smile.
It was so honest that Hana felt her heart ache.
"Me too," Hana whispered, and for the first time in a long while, she dared to slowly rest her head on Lyra's shoulder, letting the tears finally flow freely. Without feeling ashamed.
Lyra felt tears rising in her own eyes. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around Hana and pulled her closer until their bodies were pressed together.
They held each other, finally letting all the pain spill out—until a vibration on the nightstand interrupted their quiet embrace. Lyra hastily wiped her tears away, grabbed her phone, and looked at the screen.
A new message blinked up.
Kathy: "Did you find her, your friend 🥺?"
A second message followed almost immediately:
Kathy: "Btw, what is her name? 💞"
Lyra typed back right away, still half-choking on tears.
Lyra: "I found her!! She's okay 🖤! Oh, and her name is Hana! :3"
She stared at the last messages for a moment, then the display went dark. She put the phone away. Right now, there were more important things.
Beside her lay Hana, her face half buried in the pillow. The tears were drying slowly on her cheek, leaving behind salty traces. A strange intimacy hung in the air.
Carefully, Lyra slipped her hand out of Hana's grip, gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, and paused when her fingers touched the dried tear track. "I… I'm gonna take a quick shower, okay? Gotta get the sweat off before tonight," she whispered.
Hana nodded. Her fingers still held onto Lyra's hand, as if she didn't want to let her go. Eventually, she released her, and Lyra slowly got up from the bed, every step feeling heavy.
The hallway was cold. The harsh bathroom light stabbed into her tired eyes, as if it wanted to painfully remind her of reality.
Traces of Hana's situation were spread across the room. Empty bottles stacked along the edge of the bathtub, more lay on the floor, some still half full of stale wine. The ashtray on the sink was overflowing, ash scattered across the tiles. Mold ran through the shower grout. Used towels lay in a corner and hair clogged the sink.
Under the shower, Lyra closed her eyes and let the hot water pound against her skin, feeling her muscles relax. But the restlessness inside her remained.
"This can't go on," she muttered. "I have to help Hana somehow."
Images from last night kept flashing through her mind. Hana's desperate plea, the warmth of her body, that unfamiliar, aching closeness.
Suddenly, Lyra felt a strange heat spreading through her. Not like when she was angry or panicking. It was duller. Heavier.
It started in her stomach, spread like liquid electricity under her skin, crawled up her back into her chest,her breathing sped up without her knowing whether it was because of the shower or the images forming in her mind.
Hana's face appeared. So close.
Her lips, slightly parted. The delicate skin of her neck. The way her breath had pressed against Lyra's body back then.
Almost on reflex, Lyra's hand slid over her own breast, brushed her sensitive skin, passed over her nipple, which felt hard under the warm water. Her hand moved lower, deeper, until she felt her body respond, as if it had already decided what she herself didn't even want to think.
Her thighs tensed slightly. A shiver ran through her, and she felt her insides tighten, like she was in free fall—
What the fuck am I doing?
She yanked her hand back as if she'd burned herself.
Her head dropped. Water poured over the back of her neck as she tried to catch herself.
After a night like that… what the hell is wrong with me?
Shame tightened around her throat, burned under her skin, mixing with the memory of Hana's body, of the warmth between them. Something had stayed behind. Something she couldn't just shove away.
Her fingers dug into the wet towel hanging from the shower rail, as if she needed something to hold onto to keep from slipping again.
What if it wasn't just physical?
What if I really…
She didn't dare finish the thought. She dried herself off quickly and got dressed. When she looked in the mirror, she barely recognized her own face.
When Lyra stepped back into the bedroom, the chaos around her seemed a little calmer. Hana was still sitting on the bed. She looked up, eyes still red.
Lyra hesitated, then sat down beside her without a word. For a moment, they just sat there. The silence between them felt strange. Lyra stared at her hands, still feeling the warmth of the water on her skin, and something else underneath.
"Uh…" She cleared her throat, not daring to look at Hana directly. "Before we… go to Rudi's…"
Her voice sounded strange to her own ears. Thinner than usual.
"We should… maybe eat something. Cook together or something?"
Hana looked at her in surprise. "You wanna cook? Here?"
"Yep—so?" Lyra got up quickly, as if movement could chase away her nervousness. "Let's see what you've got."
She walked into the small, dirty kitchen. Hana followed. Lyra opened the fridge and froze.
Wine. More wine. A half-empty bottle of vodka. A few beers, the same ones from last night. A carton of milk that had been expired for days.
That was all.
"Fuck, Hana."
The words slipped out before she could stop them. She opened the cupboards. Chips. Instant noodles. Candy. A half-empty pack of cookies.
Lyra leaned against the counter. "Living on chips and instant noodles…" She gave a small grin. "…explains why you're so soft."
Hana blushed and grinned crookedly. "Oh, shut up…"
"When was the last time you actually ate a real meal? Not just chips or… whatever this is?" Lyra examined a pack of Hello Kitty gummy bears in her hand.
Hana shrugged. "Might've been a while."
She looked away. "I know. It's not— I usually don't buy real food."
The shame on Hana's face was clearly visible. She leaned against the wall, arms wrapped around herself.
"I'm sorry. I didn't… I didn't know you'd—"
"Hey." Lyra turned to her, her voice softer. "It's okay. We'll just order something."
She grabbed her phone and scrolled through delivery apps. "What do you want? Pizza, like you used to? Or sushi? Chinese?"
"Don't care," Hana muttered.
Lyra paused and looked at her. Hana's shoulders were slumped. She looked so… small. So lost.
"Hana." Lyra took a step closer. "Tomorrow, we're going grocery shopping. Proper stuff. Vegetables, meat, everything you need."
"You don't have to—"
"I don't have to, I want to," Lyra said more firmly. "You can't live on sweets alone. That's…" She stopped herself. She didn't want to preach.
Hana looked at her in surprise.
"You wanna go shopping with me?"
"Yeah." Lyra felt herself getting warm again, but differently this time. "If—if you want."
Why does this feel like a date?
"Okay," Hana whispered, and for the first time in hours, she smiled with both corners of her mouth. "That would be… nice. Thank you…"
Lyra quickly turned back to her phone to hide her blushing. "So, what should I order? Pizza always works, right?"
"Pizza's good," Hana replied with a sweet grin.
A few minutes earlier
The setting sun painted streaks of light across the gray walls. Somehow, the gray made the room feel even darker. Maybe it was also because of all the gloomy posters on the walls. Posters of anime like School Days, Mirai Nikki, Death Note, and Monster.
Kathy entered the room and dropped her backpack with her café uniform inside.
She yawned deeply and flopped onto the bed. Behind the Mirai Nikki poster was a picture of Lyra. She had hidden it there when Phelix visited her yesterday.
Kathy pulled it out.
The light made the surface of the old instant-photo shimmer. A warm smile spread across her lips.
Lyra was still quite young in it, but just as beautiful as now. The scarlet-red eyes, the silver-white hair that always smelled like cherry blossoms. In the photo, she had that energetic grin Kathy had fallen in love with at first sight.
Lyra was making a cheerful peace sign, just like the person next to her. A girl with long black hair and red tips. For a moment, Kathy stared at her—then quickly looked back at Lyra, almost in a panic.
Lyra's smile distracted her and filled her with warmth. She brushed a black strand of hair from her own face.
Then she ran her finger over the picture.
"My angel…" she whispered softly.
Finally, she straightened up, sat on the edge of the bed with a light swing, and grabbed her phone.
The display glowed coldly. On the lock screen was a "Soul Eater" wallpaper. On the home screen, a picture of Lyra.
Her head was cropped out, but the clothes, the posture—it was unmistakably Lyra. Kathy would recognize it among millions. It was one of the amateur model shots Lyra had posted for a while. None of them showed her face.
Kathy knew why.
She opened Twitter. No new messages, no new tweets. For months now, @owlyra666 had only posted melancholic texts or song quotes.
Kathy knew why.
Many of Lyra's followers had distanced themselves after the soft-nude leak, but Kathy had stayed, of course. She would always follow Lyra. Not just on Twitter.
She went back to the home screen. A message waited on LINE.
Yuu: "Ahoy! Hope you're doing well! 🫡"
Yuu: "Was thinking about maybe coming to Osaka this summer. What do you think? Do you think Lyra would be ready for that? How are the two of them doing now?"
Kathy took a shallow breath.
God. Of all people. Him.
Her jaw tightened slightly.
He already stole my angel from me once. And after everything I did for her, she ran to that stupid island. To him.
She took a deep breath and stayed calm. She knew how to handle this. After all, she held all the strings.
Then she typed.
Kathy: "Hey, sailor! Yeah, everything's great. Hope you and Aiko are doing well too :)"
She sent it and kept typing.
Kathy: "The two are doing better, but I don't know if they're ready yet. Maybe we should wait until autumn."
Kathy: "They're talking again, but it still needs some time. Hope you understand."
A faint grin spread across her lips. The last message wasn't even a lie. Soon enough, the two of them would be in real contact again.
Kathy had made sure of that.
She turned off her phone and placed it on the nightstand. She stood up, stretched, and looked out the window. Through the blinds, she could see the sun sinking lower and lower.
Time to freshen up.
She went to the bathroom and stepped into the shower. Cold water pounded against her skin. Most people found that unpleasant, but she got used to it.
Eventually, she stepped out, dried herself, and got dressed. Then she returned to the bedroom and picked up her phone.
Time for some texting.
She opened the Twitter chat with Lyra and typed.
Kathy: "Did you find her, your friend 🥺?"
She stared at the text for a moment. Oh right. That friend. Could it be that…?
Then she typed again.
Kathy: "Btw, what is her name? 💞"
She was about to put the phone away when the reply came.
Lyra: "I found her!! She's okay 🖤! Oh, and her name is Hana! :3"
Kathy's eyes widened. She stared at the message as if she'd just won the lottery.
Gotcha.
She laughed quietly, that soft laugh she always had when things went exactly as planned.
Thank you, Hana. Finally. Finally, it can begin.
Suddenly, there was a sharp sting in Kathy's chest. Her smile cracked for just a moment.
She snorted softly and took a deep breath.
She's just a tool. That's all. Now I just need to make Hana give me what I need.
Kathy inhaled deeply. Her voice sounded strained and harsh. "And I need to make her keep her damn mouth shut."