Hana ran.
She just had to get away.
Away from this apartment, from Lyra's eyes, from that moment when she couldn't hide from herself anymore.
Her legs stumbled more than they carried her. The oversized hoodie flapped around her arms and the cold wind cut into her face. She didn't stop until her lungs burned, her stomach twisted again, and her heartbeat drowned out every other sound.
Eventually, she found herself at a bus stop.
Hana sank down onto the bench, pulled her knees to her chest, and buried her face in them for a moment.
Everything was too loud. Too much.
After a while, she lifted her head again, wiped her face with her sleeve, and pulled her phone from her pocket. She was about to check the next bus connection when her eyes caught the notifications—
2 unread messages from Rudi.
Her breath hitched.
For a moment she just stared at the messages, as if that could make them disappear.
Rudi: "Hana, we need to talk. Now." 10:35 p.m.
Rudi: "Don't ignore me, or you'll regret it." 11:41 p.m.
The messages were from last night.
When she was drunk.
When Lyra had carried her home and she'd been too far gone to notice anything.
Shit... what did he text her...?
Hana felt her fingers tighten around the phone. Cold sweat trickled down her face, a metallic taste filled her mouth. The weight of what she must've caused last night finally hit her.
Why… why am I like this?
Her heart clenched, dull and painful.
What did I even do yesterday? I… I can barely remember anything.
A lump rose in her throat.
How could I be so fucking pathetic?
Her face twisted like she couldn't stand herself.
And she... she was just there. Of all people.
Shame wrapped tight around her throat. Her grip on the phone trembled. The screen flickered: 3 % battery left.
I ruined everything. Again. Would've been better if I just…
Her fingers trembled over the tiny phone keyboard.
She mistyped. Once. Twice.
Fuck off.
She deleted it. Started again. Swallowed. And pressed send.
Hana: "I'm coming now." 10:21 a.m.
Hana: "It was all me. Leave Lyra out of it.
I'll do whatever you want." 10:22 a.m.
The soft "ping" after sending sounded way too loud in the quiet. She stared at the screen for a moment, then lowered her phone.
I'll do it. For her. It's the least I can do.
She got up. Nausea rose in her throat, her head pounding.
And yet, she started walking.
Not toward home. Not toward safety.
But straight back into the abyss.
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"Come in"
Rudi's voice barked through the door before Hana could even knock. Of course he'd heard her coming. He always heard everything.
When she stepped inside, he was sitting behind his cluttered desk, fingers folded over his gut.
Hana stood there, hands buried deep in the pockets of Lyra's gray hoodie. Her body trembled slightly, but she blamed it on the withdrawal, not the fear.
Rudi sat in his leather chair like a king on a cheap throne. The purple neon light from the corner made his bloated face look even sicker than it already did.
"Well, well… look who we got here — the lil' lost bunny, huh?"
His voice sounded dangerously soft, a cruel contrast to the rage twisting his mouth. On the desk before him stood two glasses and a bottle of gin. The same brand Hana had drunk the night before.
"I…" Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and walked straight up to his desk.
"I'm here. It was all my fault. Leave Lyra out of it."
Rudi laughed. A sound like breaking glass.
"Your fault? Yeah, that I believe. You were completely gone. Unfuckable! Is that normal now, showin' up fucking wasted in my club?"
He grabbed the bottle, slowly twisting it open.
Hana swallowed dryly. Her whole body ached for what was inside that bottle, and at the same time, her stomach clenched just thinking about it.
"It was a slip-up. Won't happen again."
"Slip-up," Rudi echoed, lifting the bottle and letting the clear liquid run into the glass.
"You can't fool me, girl. I can see you shakin'. Your whole body's screamin' for it, isn't it?"
He slid the glass slowly across the desk toward her.
"Drink."
Hana froze.
"I… I don't want to."
Rudi's face darkened. In one sudden motion, he hurled the full glass onto the floor right before her feet.
It shattered, splashing alcohol across her bare ankles, forming a small pool on the floor.
The sharp smell filled the room instantly.
"GET DOWN!" Rudi's voice roared.
"GET THE FUCK DOWN — AND LICK IT UP!"
Hana flinched, but didn't step back. Her eyes darted between the spilled gin and Rudi's twisted face.
"I…" It was all she managed. The humiliation sealed her throat shut.
"I SAID DOWN!" he thundered, slamming his hand against the desk.
"Or should I send Vox to pay Lyra a visit, huh?"
Hana's knees gave out. Slowly, she sank to the floor. The glass shards pressed through the thin fabric of her tights — tiny, sharp stings she barely felt because the shame cut so much deeper.
She leaned forward. The smell of gin filled her nose, dragging memories of last night back to the surface. Her hands shook harder. Every cell in her body screamed for the alcohol, while her mind fought against the degradation.
"Go on," Rudi murmured, almost gentle now.
"You want it, don't ya? You need it."
Hana closed her eyes. A single tear fell onto the floor, mixing with the gin.
I'm pathetic. But at least… at least Lyra's safe now.
She lowered her head.
I'm sorry, Satsu. Thank God you can't see me like this. But you know what's worse? A part of me does want it. I want to drown in this puddle.
The taste exploded on her tongue — bitter, sharp, so painfully familiar.
Rudi laughed. A cold, mocking sound.
"Look at ya… a drunk whore, that's all you are now."
Hana took another sip. The shards of glass glimmered dangerously close to her face. She felt the alcohol burn its way through her body, spreading that false sense of warmth.
After what felt like forever, Rudi finally said:
"That's enough for today."
She looked up. Her face was flushed with shame, her lips wet with gin. He stood before her, looking down like she was something beneath him.
"If you ever show up in my club like that again…" He leaned down, his voice low enough to crawl beneath her skin.
"…you won't walk out again. Got it?"
Hana nodded mutely, unable to look at him.
"Good," he said, straightening up.
"Now get up. We need to talk."
She rose slowly, ignoring the sting in her knees where small spots of blood had soaked through her tights. Now that the first humiliation was over, a strange calm settled in. She'd survived worse. She would survive worse. This was just another step down a staircase that had long since stopped leading anywhere but down.
Rudi sank back into his chair, watching her with a look caught somewhere between disgust and calculation.
"There's a new VIP," he said. "Rich bastard. Perv. Pays more than the usuals. And he wants both of you — together."
Hana's stomach turned, but she only nodded. What else could she do?
"Starting tonight, you get half," Rudi went on, rummaging in a drawer.
"And to make up for it, you'll take eight clients a night instead of four. Gotta teach you some work ethic."
"Eight?" Hana's voice cracked. "That's not—"
"You can leave now," Rudi cut her off, turning back to his papers as if she weren't even there.
"Be here tonight. On time. And sober."
Hana turned and walked toward the door. Her legs felt like lead. When her hand touched the handle, her phone buzzed in her pocket.
A message.
Lyra: "Where are you? Are you okay?"
Something twisted in Hana's chest. A sharp ache that had nothing to do with the gin. She stared at the screen, unable to reply.
When the door clicked shut behind her, Rudi didn't wait ten seconds. He pressed the intercom button.
"Vox. Get in here."
The door opened almost immediately, as if he'd been waiting. Vox stepped inside. His thin frame looked even weaker in the neon light.
"And?" Rudi asked.
Vox shrugged his bony shoulders. "She looked done, boss. She'll do whatever you want her to."
Rudi leaned back, a satisfied grin spreading over his face.
"Time for part two," he muttered.
"Go to the white-haired one — Lyra. Tell her Hana blamed her for everything, and that I'm holdin' her responsible."
Vox tilted his head.
"And if she doesn't come?"
Rudi's eyes narrowed. "Then motivate her a little."
He nodded toward Vox's waistband, where the handle of a gun was peeking out.
"And if that still doesn't work, help her along." He cocked his head to the side. "You know how that goes, right?"
Vox's thin lips curled into a grin.
"Of course, boss."
"Good." Rudi turned back to his desk, flipping through papers.
"We're gonna milk those two dry. Those rich bastards pay damn well for girls like them."
Vox nodded, his skinny hand already on the door handle.
"Oh, and Vox?"
"Yeah, boss?"
"If you pull this off clean…" Rudi glanced at the calendar on the wall — the one with photos of all the Bunnygirls.
"…you get to pick which little bunny gets to have some real fun with you tonight."
Vox's lips widened, distorted into a hungry grin. His eyes scanning the photos until they stopped on a red-haired girl.
"I already know which one, boss."
"Yeah, yeah," Rudi waved him off. "But only after the job's done. Got it?"
⋯───⋱───⋯──⋱───⋯──⋱───⋯
Nozomi spotted Hana in the small kitchen behind the dressing rooms. She was standing with her back to the door, rummaging through the old fridge like she was searching for the meaning of life.
"Hana?"
Hana flinched slightly but didn't turn around.
"Hey."
"Looking for something in particular?" Nozomi stepped closer but kept a respectful distance.
"Something to drink." Hana's voice was hoarse. She pulled out a bottle of water, then a can of cola — placing both on the counter like she couldn't decide between them.
Nozomi leaned against the doorframe.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Great." The answer came too fast. "Can't complain."
"Mm-hm." Nozomi watched as Hana's hands trembled slightly while opening the can. "You look tired."
Hana let out a bitter laugh. "I'm good."
"I don't mean that in a bad way." Nozomi took a small step forward. "I'm just worried."
"You don't have to be." Hana took a big sip of cola and grimaced. "I'm fine."
Nozomi stayed quiet for a moment. She'd known Hana long enough to realize that pushing her would only make her retreat further.
"Are you planning to eat something today?" she asked softly.
"Maybe later."
"I can grab you something. There's a good ramen place just around the corner—"
Hana shook her head. "Not hungry. I'm leaving soon anyway."
Nozomi sighed quietly. "Hana... you know you can talk to me, right?"
For the first time, Hana turned fully around. Her eyes were red. "About what?"
"Anything. About... whatever's weighing on you. Like yesterday, for example."
Hana stared at her for a long moment. Then she laughed again, but it sounded hollow. "Nothing's weighing on me."
"And yesterday? The state you were in when you came here?"
Hana froze. "That was... a slip-up."
"Hana, it's happening more often. You've been drinking too much."
"What?" Her voice sharpened instantly.
"Hana, I just want—"
"You want what?" Hana slammed the can down so hard that cola spilled over the counter. "You wanna tell me how to live my life?"
"No, I—"
"Oh, please." Hana's tone turned venomous. "You sit in your nice little office, fuck Rudi, play manager, and think you know me?" Her voice rose. "You don't know shit!"
Nozomi lifted her hands, trying to calm her down. "Hana, please, just…"
"Calm down?" Hana let out a broken laugh that sounded almost like a sob. "Everyone's constantly telling me what to do!"
"I'm just worried—"
"Worried?" Hana shouted now. "You're worried about the business!"
"That's not true!"
"It is!" Tears streamed down Hana's face, but her voice stayed sharp with anger. "Truth is you don't give a shit how I'm doing."
She pushed herself off the counter. Her shoulder rammed into Nozomi in the process.
"Hana, wait—"
"Leave me alone!" Hana's voice cracked as she reached the door. "Just leave me the fuck alone!"
The door slammed shut behind her. Nozomi stood there in silence, staring at the overturned cola can, watching as it slowly formed a brown puddle on the floor.
For the first time in years, she felt completely useless.