Kushina was leading 500 axe-wielders to surround Ichiraku Ramen, planning to eat without paying.
Everyone was shouting.
Suddenly, Ichiraku's master, dressed in a chef's outfit, walked out. Those purple ripple-patterned eyes were filled with indifference.
Kushina froze on the spot.
The shadow-clone axe-wielders all screamed in unison.
"Rinnegan, holy shit!"
"Ōtsutsuki Teuchi finally stopped pretending!"
"I knew he was a hidden master—otherwise how could every crisis in Konoha avoid Ichiraku Ramen?"
"Rinnegan?!" Kushina murmured.
Anyone who understood dōjutsu knew of the Rinnegan, one of the Three Great Eyes—the eye with which the Sage of Six Paths created and destroyed the world.
Legend had it that whoever this eye stared at would get pregnant.
In the past, Teuchi always wore a squinty-eyed, friendly expression.
But now his face was indifferent, full of big-shot aura—anyone who saw him knew he wasn't someone to mess with.
Kushina tested him. "I want a bowl?"
'Teuchi' turned his gaze toward Kushina, his voice carrying an ancient cadence.
"Guest, my apologies. We're not taking customers today."
Kushina said bluntly, "You're definitely not Teuchi. Teuchi never refuses people. Who are you?!"
'Teuchi' smiled. "Me?! An old man called Hagoromo!"
"Hagoromo?! What are you trying to do?"
"I want someone named Kairen to eat a bowl of ramen!"
...
Seeing emotions grow more and more heated, with even ancient trivial grudges being dragged out, Kairen decided to soothe the crowd's negative feelings.
He jumped down from above while holding Tsunade and comforted everyone.
"Don't get excited. These people really are unforgivable, but they've surrendered now."
"I'll hold a grand trial."
With how disgusting Danzo and Sarutobi were, how could things end so simply?
It had to be filmed into a documentary of several hundred episodes, exposing their crimes to the whole world.
Better yet, turn it into an exhibition.
"Now's the moment!"
Sarutobi Hiruzen's eyes widened.
Kairen was not far in front of him, with Uchiha and Senju people at his side.
The moment he had waited for—this was it.
His hands rapidly formed seals, intense killing intent locking onto Kairen.
At the instant before anyone could react, a phantom ghost appeared behind Sarutobi Hiruzen.
With horns, a blue ferocious face, and terrifying aura radiating from its body—one look would give children nightmares.
No sooner said than done.
Sarutobi Hiruzen's movements happened in mere milliseconds; no one could react.
He instantly closed in on Kairen. A ghostly hand growing from his abdomen touched Kairen's back.
"Kairen, come with this me!"
Sarutobi Hiruzen was like an old ghost locking onto souls, dragging Kairen down to hell with him.
...
Mount Myōboku.
The Great Toad Sage smiled at the crystal ball.
"This sealing technique that can even seal the soul—no matter how strong your resurrection ability is, once hit by this, revival is absolutely impossible."
The wind stirred up by the outsider should finally be stopped!
...
"Ding!"
"Warning! Warning! Unknown energy entity detected invading the system. Activate defense function?!"
"Activate!"
The Shinigami's hand invaded Kairen's body, preparing to seize his soul.
But Kairen's body was like a void—no matter how the Shinigami's hand groped, it grasped nothing.
Just like that, Sarutobi Hiruzen stared blankly at the Shinigami's hand extending from his abdomen, not responding for a long time.
The atmosphere instantly became awkward.
Everyone looked at Sarutobi Hiruzen's ultimate move, then at Kairen, who had turned around with arms folded, wearing a faint smile.
"Dead Demon Consuming Seal—the Uzumaki clan's forbidden technique. Is this your trump card?"
"Unfortunately, even the Shinigami can't take my life."
Sarutobi Hiruzen's eyes filled with despair. "How could this be?"
The Shinigami was said to be able to seal the souls of all living beings, even tailed beasts.
Why did it fail when it came to Kairen?
Toadzo's eyes were full of disappointment.
"The old master's calculations failed again. The Dead Demon Consuming Seal doesn't work on him."
Orochimaru hid far away. He was extremely sensitive to souls and found the Shinigami's aura extremely uncomfortable.
"I didn't expect Sensei to still have such a trump card—a forbidden technique that seals souls. Truly terrifying!"
If the soul were sealed, any reincarnation method would be invalid.
Thinking carefully about the Dead Demon Consuming Seal's function, Orochimaru's eyes lit up.
The Dead Demon Consuming Seal could seal a person's soul, leaving the original body empty without rejection—wasn't this the most perfect reincarnation?
Then his heart screamed in regret.
If only Sarutobi Hiruzen had succeeded—Kairen's soul would be sealed, and the body would naturally fall into his hands.
Everyone wins—what a wonderful thing that would be!
Why was Kairen so uncooperative?
The Nine-Tails shrank back, breaking into a cold sweat at this soul-sealing technique.
It had no way to undo it.
It had been bullying this old man earlier, never expecting him to be hiding something this deep. Thankfully their hatred wasn't deep enough that the target wasn't placed on it.
...
Sarutobi Hiruzen's aura grew weaker and weaker. The Dead Demon Consuming Seal was a forbidden technique—once cast, the user would die, with absolutely no chance of survival!
Of course, except for a certain bug-abusing shameless Orochimaru.
Seeing Sarutobi Hiruzen at death's door, Kairen said regretfully,
"What a pity—you won't get to see the moment when manure is splashed."
Sarutobi Hiruzen suddenly rallied, roaring, "Kairen, if I can't take you with me, can't I take the people beside you?!"
Again—no sooner said than done.
Sarutobi Hiruzen's Shinigami hand lunged toward Tsunade beside him.
The speed was terrifying; in an instant it brushed Tsunade's clothes.
Kairen was horrified.
He hadn't expected this old man to be so ruthless—ignoring master-disciple ties and trying to seal Tsunade's soul.
This was unacceptable. If Tsunade's soul were sealed, wouldn't he be left playing with an inflatable doll for the rest of his life?
In a flash.
Kairen's entire body erupted with golden light. He activated chakra at maximum output, clutching Tsunade and shifting the battlefield like a beam of light.
In the blink of an eye, Kairen and Tsunade moved at least 200 meters away, escaping Sarutobi Hiruzen's final frenzy before death.
Sarutobi Hiruzen cursed miserably, "Damn it!"
Dodged again by Kairen—this guy was a nightmare.
Sensing the worsening backlash of Dead Demon Consuming Seal, Sarutobi Hiruzen had to take someone with him.
Just then, the Uchiha were right beside him.
His vicious gaze turned toward the red-eyed group.
"Uchiha—come with me!"
At the peak of his strength, Sarutobi instantly split into four shadow clones, all lunging at the Uchiha clan.
"Sarutobi, you—"
Still no sooner said than done.
The Uchiha didn't react at all—having just been flashed by a burst of light, they saw a ferocious old man pounce.
The Shinigami's hand reached out, snatching the Uchiha Great Elder's soul in one grab.
With the Shinigami's dagger slicing down, a living soul was sealed into the Shinigami's belly.
Only the Great Elder's unwilling cry remained. "I… I'm not willing!"
He hadn't even eaten at the victory banquet yet—dying like this was too unfair.
Then came the Second Elder, the Third Elder.
"Sarutobi, you set me up!"
"Sarutobi, I'll—"
Finally, the Uchiha clan head—Uchiha Fugaku.
Kairen had just set Tsunade down when the Shinigami's hand already touched Fugaku's body.
"Damn it!"
Kairen rushed back to defend, but it was too late—Sarutobi scored another Uchiha forward.
Goal!
At this point, Fugaku could only resign himself despite his unwillingness.
War meant death; gambling meant wins and losses. The Uchiha won, but they had to pay a price.
Otherwise, the victory would have come too easily.
At the moment of death, Fugaku entrusted his last words to Kairen.
"Kairen-kun, please take care of the Uchiha… and Mikoto and Itachi!"
With that, he turned into a ray of light and entered the Shinigami's belly.
Kairen's eyes filled with tears. "Fugaku! How could you—"
Grief surged in his heart as the surrounding shadow clones began playing the Great Compassion Mantra.
Thousands of shadow clones cried together.
"Wuwuwu… ꈨຶꎁꈨຶ, Fugaku~"
"Have a safe journey~"
Kairen's mournful cries echoed through the entire village, reaching Mikoto's ears.
In an instant, Mikoto looked as if her soul had left her body. She went dim and collapsed.
Nearby shadow clones hurried to support her.
"Madam, please accept our condolences!"
Uchiha Itachi didn't cry. He merely rubbed his eyes; when he opened them again, a one-tomoe Sharingan reflected deep sorrow.
"Father!"
Being a ninja was a short-lived profession. Families lived in constant fear, dreading a death notice.
Everyone who became a ninja had to be prepared—prepared for their spouse and children to be raised by someone else.
...
The light in Sarutobi Hiruzen's eyes slowly faded. Before dying, he said to Jiraiya beside him,
"Help… help me take care of Asuma!"
Jiraiya nodded silently.
At this point, for a dead man, all disputes of life were over.
Kairen's Canon shadow clone suddenly stepped forward and said to Sarutobi Hiruzen,
"No need. Your whole family will accompany you!"
"W-what?"
Some things Kairen hadn't ordered aloud, but the shadow clones had taken care of them.
The Eastern force surrounded the Sarutobi household and set it ablaze.
From within the flames came Asuma's furious roar. "Why?!"
The Canon said considerately, "That's how novels usually go—the protagonist's family is destroyed, he secretly trains, returns as a war god ten years later, and wipes out his enemies."
"With your personality, it'd definitely be like that. Inspiring, sure—but we're the protagonists. All your efforts would come to nothing. Better to turn into a handful of dust."
"Damn it… you wiped out my whole family just for that…"
"Kairen, even if I become a ghost I'll still fight you for Kurenai—"
The voice cut off. Another ninja from the original work died just like that.
"He is really devoted! Even as a ghost he still wants to fight the boss over a woman!"
"Let's go! Next household… there are still remnants in Danzo's family. Go wipe them out!"
Wherever they passed, not even grass remained—families destroyed, wives scattered, such scenes everywhere.