[System: Look, I don't know if that was touching or pathetically sad.]
Shut up. Just let me drink.
[System: Make sure to catch your ride.]
I spent so long making this bar, and I didn't even get to use it properly. My stupid Abundance constitution meant I couldn't use the mental interface, so I had to rely on Shamash and the built-in design tools. It took forever.
[System: It was your fault.]
Why are you so active all of a sudden? Just to bully me?
[System: Yes.]
QAQ… I am being bullied! Bullied!
Sigh…
Well, that wasn't exactly the presentation I wanted. The original flow, starting with the stars as our enemies, then the Previous Eras' failures… it all fit so perfectly. But Bronya had to point out that the Previous Era didn't count as a failure. And she was right, and it flowed too well into act 3, and suddenly I was improvising.
[System: …]
Then Otto interrupted me! I knew that happened in the original timeline but I didn't expect it to happen right in the middle! I didn't even reach the ending! Do you know how long I spent on the special effects! I didn't even get to the bar scene! It wasn't even a real attack! Theresa just overrated!
And Kiana…
Well, I didn't feel like saying that the Herrscher of Finality in every Previous Era was 'Kiana'. That she was destined to become the Herrscher of Finality, stuck alone on the moon. That there was only one possible future, 'Kiana' in every cycle is always the Herrscher of Finality. Just like Ki, the Herrscher of the End of the Previous Era.
[System: You couldn't commit.]
"Rahhh… shut up." I said out loud, before slumping on the bartop.
"What?" Shamash, who was standing on the countertop, replied.
"Not you… I just… am sad I guess?" I said.
"Why? Aren't you getting exactly what you wanted?" Shamash asked, confused in his usual deadpan way.
I didn't want to tell him that I was upset because my villain monologue, the one dramatic moment I've been waiting years for, was ruined. Because I couldn't commit.
[System: …]
If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything.
[System: Remember what you promised.]
Yeah, yeah, I'll do the damn romance thing.
[System: You were right, by the way.]
About what?
[System: That if you had been less afraid you could have changed things up, made a better future, it wouldn't have been so bad. You could have romanced Kiana!]
That's all you care about!
QAQ
[System: Stop doing that.]
I sat up suddenly, staring at Shamash, who was currently scrolling on a smartphone that looked half his height.
"I have decided." I declared.
Shamash just stared at me.
"When it comes to making a choice, I will make a choice I don't regret." I proclaimed.
Shamash just continued to stare at me.
"I'm going to figure things out. Make changes. Be who I want to be!" I said, slurring only slightly.
[System: …]
"I am going to do a monolouge at some point, or a heroic speech, and this time not fuck it up!"
[System: This is a pointless conversation…]
Don't say that! I swear I will be braver, do the whole romance thing! Trailblaze all over the place!
[System: What if Elio prevents you from interfering with his script, and joining the Astral Express.]
Damn… I never thought about that.
I slumped back in my chair, and rested my face on the bartop.
Shamash finally spoke. "Are you… alright?"
"I don't know, and I don't want to think about it!"
I sighed, "Look, maybe I am thinking a little about lost potential."
Shamash continued to look at me with the same blank expression.
"Like… maybe I could have done more?"
Shamash: Block of Ice mode
"I don't know. It was a lot of… nothing," I continued. "But I still think what I did was right. I never wanted to be here anyway. Who cares if things could have been better? They could've been worse! Humanity could have died or something!"
Actually, that probably wouldn't happen, even in the worst case scenario, I mean, the worst case is just that Project Stigmata was activated.
I mean, Project Stigmata, in its most recent revision, wasn't that bad…
Think about Sunday, and Edna's dream.
Were people not saying that they wished they could live in Edna's dream in real life? Seven Sundays sounds awesome!
If you think about it, Project Stigmata is just a version of Edna's dream.
Worse and better, in certain ways.
In Stigmata, everyone lives on as minds and souls inside Kevin's space. No bodies, no Honkai, no fear. And decanted souls don't even really die.
Edna's dream tailored itself to the individual, exactly what each person desires the most. But that means it's inherently isolating. Most people's ideas of a perfect dreamscape conflict, so each person gets their own unique dream, the only drawback is that you are the only real person in it.
Not that anyone can tell really, after all, most people don't realise that the Black Swan that is narrating about how the express crew lost to Sunday isn't the real Black Swan, its just Stelle's Edna's dream version of Black Swan, who gained self awareness after retrieving the Memory Cone that recorded Stelle's adventure, and realising that everything was from "Her perspective".
After all, from Stelle's POV, and the players, that Black Swan is equally as real, and technically, it's the Black Swan we know for most of the events of the Penacony's Story. After all, all the events of the Penacony we experience before the defeat of Sunday is part of Edna's Dream, even if it is based on Stelle's memories of the "Original" events of Penacony.
The only snapshot we are given of the "Original" events is Firefly's true first time in Penacony.
That was a massive tangent, safe to say. Edna's dream is a paradise, but it also isolates everyone in their own individual dreamscape, everyone inside being just a copy of the original to help fulfill that person's greatest desire, which for Stelle, was just to continue on the path of the Trailblaze. At least with project Stigmata, it's effectively just a continuation of life as it is, just without physical form.
What would even be my greatest wish?
What do I even want?
…
[System: Your goal should be to find a partner, or even multiple! Build important relationships! Stop the war between the Aeons with the power of love and friendship!]
Ehh… Whatever. Sure I guess.
[System: Don't sound so unenthusiastic.]
I still don't know where I am going to end up in the wider universe… After all, I am really just hoping that a certain someone will interfere.
That someone will hopefully solve my little Abundance problem.
Wait? Is it really a problem if there is no Honkai Energy?
…Probably not.
"I am going to sleep inside the Second Divine Key." I proclaimed.
After all, the fight between Kiana and Durandal and Otto Apocalypse wouldn't happen till later.
I read somewhere that decisions made after midnight were not to be trusted, and well, it was well into the A.M's.
Not of course that I had made any decisions.
Man, I am so fucking indecisive.
When it comes time to make a choice, make one you won't regret.
What if you don't even know what the choices are?
…
I woke up to something hard hitting my skull.
"What…?" I said groggily.
Shamash tucked away an object shaped suspiciously like a baseball bat.
"Charging is almost complete, and the fight is about to begin."
Oh right.
"What time is it?"
"It is currently 06:00 hours."
"Why is this happening so early in the morning?"
"Otto gave his 12 hour decree almost 11 and a half hours ago, you know exactly why it is happening now."
After all, it's why I decided to sleep in the Second Divine Key's cabin, just in case. Lucky for me, my abundant constitution meant that for the most part, I was somewhat awake.
It also meant that I didn't have a hangover, for which I was eternally grateful.
Still, five hours of sleep wasn't much. I'd spent the night preparing for departure, recording a message for Kiana and the others. Telling them that Himeko survived. Telling them the location of Judgment of Shamash and the remaining Herrscher Gems.
After all, if I gave Kiana Judgement of Shamash before the big fight with Otto, he might just end up burnt to a crisp instead of being sent to the Wedge of the World.
"It will be done charging in around 30 seconds." Shamash stated.
"WHAT? Thirty seconds? And you woke me up now? What about the fight?!"
"Durandal is rapidly approaching the church, however, they will not make it in time before the Divine Key finishes charging."
"Wait so we won't even see the fight?"
"No, again. The estimate has been available since Otto accepted the second Herrscher authority. You should be well aware of the timing."
"I didn't know when the fight would start! I thought that it would be down to the wire!"
"It is down to the wire. Best estimates only put the fight at around 20-30 minutes. In 20-30 minutes we would have been too late and not had enough energy to jump. Given the 12 hour window, its extremely close. This is what the number of cores given was based on. 10 seconds left."
"Ten seconds!? I JUST WOKE UP! This is happening too fast!"
"I didn't wake you up because I knew you would be sad about leaving. 3 seconds left."
The floor vibrated beneath my feet, soft at first, then rising like a held breath. In the cabin, mechanical machinery with unknown functions, maybe decorative knowing Vill-V, stirred. A faint shudder ran through the cabin. Then the whistle blew: low and long.
The Second Divine Key began to move.
I braced myself, swallowing the last of my grogginess. The familiar feeling of the Second Divine Key's portal getting nearer, though I had never personally experienced it from inside the cabin. Space feeling like it was compressing.
However, unlike the familiar purple glow of the Second Divine Key's and the Herrscher of the Void's usual portals, a golden glow erupted, momentarily blinding me.
Suddenly I felt like I was falling, I realised that my eyes were still closed and I opened them. Only to see nothing except for my arms in front of me.
I realised that I was weightless, or just falling with no air resistance, looking around to a pitch black void, with nothing visible in all directions.
"Shamash!" I shouted, looking around.
Nobody responded.
System? I asked into my own mind.