"Haaaahh… Fuck! My back!"
*Crack* *Crack*
In a particular room in the trainers' dormitory, Igo Heita stretches his body. He is sitting behind his table as he looks through the International Trainer forum.
Revenge_Crow: Anger mostly causes disaster in a race, though.
Revenge_Crow: Unless you're willing to risk it all, then you should cool off your trainer instead of fanning the flame.
Divine_Hater: But that's what we're here for!! Fuck-it-we-ball tactic!!
Five_Kraft: Haiyaa!!
Five_Kraft: You can't gamble like that, laaah!!!
Five_Kraft: Only gamble your money, not your trainee's future.
Revenge_Crow: How about we don't gamble at all…
Nun_lovers_20: You can't fuck a nun if you gamble, so an easy pass from me.
Just1ce_L0ver: How can someone who is following their dick make a better life decision than you, assholes?
Divine_Hater: Rich coming from you, bitch.
There should be no need for explanation for the young man's nickname. The Goddesses might forget what they did to him, but the victim never will. In his heart, the flame of revenge is still burning bright. He is willing to do anything, even going through brain-rotting forums like this one, just to get stronger.
*Ring* *Ring*
"Hmm?"
The young man grabs his ringing phone and looks at who the caller is. It's the scientist who always denies the existence of Umaliens while also experimenting on said nonexistent Umaliens.
*Click*
"Yeah? How's the drug?"
"You can't just strengthen a leg with just a single drug, dude. If that can be accomplished, then you wouldn't be calling me."
"Fair point. So why are you calling me?"
"Just checking. Are you still under surveillance?"
"The SCP agents? Yeah… I think they're still on me. Am I an anomaly?"
"You're wondering after everything?"
"Yeah… Another fair point for you."
"You're probably just a candidate, though… Unless you're actively exuding an anomalous property, then they won't move."
"What if I start randomly deep throating a corn on the cob? Would that be considered an anomaly?"
"... Most likely. The one who'll catch you won't be the SCP agents, but the police."
"If there's no law, then it is not forbidden, just like there are no laws against Pokémon, Batman!!"
"... I'm closing this call."
*Click*
Coward.
The young man once again returned his focus to his laptop and the forum.
Revenge_Crow: Don't get too emotional, or your trainee will be too.
Divine_Hater: Read that, @Just1ce_L0ver?
Divine_Hater: Don't berate your trainee just because she has some meat.
Just1ce_L0ver: Fuck you.
Just1ce_L0ver: There's nothing wrong with liking girls who are smaller than you!
Five_Kraft: Kinda hard when you're only 160-ish centimeters, dude…
Just1ce_L0ver: There are Umas who are smaller than me.
Just1ce_L0ver: Like Haru Urara from Japan.
"Hmm…"
Reading his trainee's name being mentioned widened the young man's eyes. He wasn't expecting it at all. Haru Urara had only been running in a countable number of races, so one has to dig deep to find her name. The young man can't wait for what the others have to say about his trainee.
Just1ce_L0ver: She is cute and smaller than me. I bet her armpits taste salty and sour like those Lays chips.
Just1ce_L0ver: The Salt and Vinegar flavor.
Divine_Hater: …
Revenge_Crow: …
Five_Kraft: …
Nun_lovers_20: …
"..."
Three Goddesses: ...
The Author: ...
Voyager 1: …
The Readers: [Insert Reaction Here]
The Uma Musume sneaking into the trainers' dormitory: …
The person behind you: …
The ghost at the corner of your room: …
The personification of disappointment: …
…
…
…
Divine_Hater: I'm signing off, guys. It's been fun talking with you tonight.
Divine_Hater: I'm afraid I might regret paying for my internet if I keep frolicking in here.
Revenge_Crow: Understandable. I'm also logging off to regrow my hope for Humanity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Welcome, Doctor Light Star. May I see your ID?"
In a place that doesn't exist, the man named Light Star is walking down a sterile white room. He is walking with 2 fully armed guards following behind him. Their weaponry suggests that they're prepared to take the apocalypse even though they're only escorting a single man.
"..."
The man pulled out a lanyard from his breast pocket and threw it at the guard guarding a circular door. The guard grabbed it and thoroughly scanned it before they swipe it on the keypad behind him. Silent clacking noises can be heard as the doors are unlocked. In total, there are 20 circular doors, each made out of different materials and with various levels of thickness. Some are 20 meters thick, some are 30 meters, but none fall under 10 meters thick.
"Thank you, Doctor. You may proceed."
The guard handed the lanyard back to the Doctor as he and his escorts entered the open path. The combined thickness of the circular doors is enough to create a brand new hallway on its own.
"Greeting, Doctor Light Star."
"Let's skip the intro and get to the content. I think we all agree on that, don't we, O-five? What is it that you want that you have to summon me here instead of relaying it like usual?"
"Do not let your achievements blind your egos, Doctor. Plenty has perished by doing so."
"On contraire. I think it's all of you who are blind. You think you have everything under control, but you are willingly wasting the time of one of your best-performing scientists. I could be continuing my research on dealing with breaches, but I was called here instead."
"That's enough. Anymore banter and you'll only prolong your visit, Doctor. Isn't that what you want to avoid?"
"..."
"O-five five has determined that several groups of interest have taken notice that we're observing Mister Igo Heita. We predict that they might try to contact or capture him."
"Are you asking me to go to Japan and be his guard? I'm telling this from the small goodness left in my heart. Do not underestimate him."
"...We believe you must know this information. As you're the closest the foundation has ever gotten to contacting him."
"Do you really think the other groups of interest will succeed where we failed, Doctor Star?"
"Highly unlikely. He acts stupid, but he is not stupid enough to be used as a mere tool. If he is working with them, then there's something that he needs from them. And he is an Uma Musume trainer now, he isn't going to just dip."
"If you believe it is necessary, then we can send Mobile Task Force Unit Alpha One, Red Right Hand."
"No. Just leave him be. I believe those groups of interests won't succeed in even making close to him, but if they did, he'd let me know. You will know that if I start making my move. You're all always keeping tabs on me anyway."
"Thank you, Doctor Star. We believe you're making your best judgment. You may now leave."
The Doctor quickly turned around and walked back to the circular doorway where he had come, accompanied by his escorts. As he walked down the doorway, the circular doors began closing one after another, closing the access to the O5 council rooms.
"O-five three, please update the containment procedure of SCP zero-zero-zero."
"I'm on it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SCP-000 - Main Character
Item #: SCP-000
Object Class: Archon
Containment Status: Non-Interference Mandated
Threat Level: █████ (Conditional, Escalation-Based)
Special Containment Procedures:
Direct containment of SCP-000 is prohibited.
All available evidence indicates that attempts to capture, isolate, restrain, or otherwise interfere with SCP-000 result in immediate and escalating anomalous consequences, including large-scale natural disasters, mass-casualty incidents, spontaneous infrastructure failure, and simultaneous containment breaches at geographically unrelated Foundation facilities. These events have occurred with sufficient consistency to establish a causal relationship between containment attempts and anomaly escalation.
Current Foundation policy designates SCP-000 as an Archon-class anomaly, wherein containment is technically conceivable but demonstrably produces outcomes significantly more harmful than non-intervention. As such, the primary containment strategy is non-interference combined with passive observation.
Observation of SCP-000 is permitted only at a minimum distance of [REDACTED] km using indirect, non-invasive methods. Any proposal to reduce this distance, initiate physical contact, or deploy containment assets requires unanimous O5 Council approval and a documented justification exceeding ZK-Class Reality Failure risk thresholds.
SCP-000 must not be made aware of Foundation designations, containment planning, or observation infrastructure. On [REDACTED], SCP-000 demonstrated awareness of active surveillance, followed by an attempt to approach the observing personnel. This incident resulted in the confirmed deaths of [REDACTED] Foundation staff, with remaining casualties attributed to anomalous secondary effects. Multiple site breaches occurred within the same temporal window. While definitive causality remains unproven, correlation strength is assessed as critical.
Stability was restored only following direct verbal engagement by Dr. [REDACTED], who successfully de-escalated SCP-000's behavior. At present, Dr. [REDACTED] is the only known individual capable of reliably pacifying SCP-000 once escalation has begun. Due to the lack of alternative mitigation vectors, Dr. [REDACTED] is designated a Critical Stability Asset and is to be maintained in optimal physical and psychological condition. Termination, reassignment, or exposure to unrelated high-risk operations is strictly forbidden.
No Foundation personnel, Mobile Task Forces, or automated systems are to initiate contact with SCP-000 except to prevent third-party interference. Groups of Interest attempting to locate, influence, or harm SCP-000 are to be intercepted, misdirected, or neutralized as necessary.
Escalation involving SCP-000 is assessed to exceed K-Class event baselines if provoked by external hostile action.
Inaction is containment.
Temporary Containment Procedure Update:
In response to confirmed intelligence indicating that multiple Groups of Interest are attempting to locate, contact, or otherwise interfere with SCP-000, the following temporary containment measures are in effect:
The Foundation's operational priority is preventing third-party interaction with SCP-000, as external provocation is assessed to significantly increase the probability of high-casualty anomalous escalation. Historical modeling indicates that hostile or coercive engagement by non-Foundation actors presents a greater risk of catastrophic outcome than baseline SCP-000 activity under non-interference conditions.
Mobile Task Forces assigned to this operation are authorized to conduct interdiction, misinformation, and suppression activities within a radius of [REDACTED] km from SCP-000's last confirmed location. Direct engagement with SCP-000 by MTF personnel is strictly prohibited except under Escalation Mitigation Authorization issued by the O5 Council.
All Groups of Interest pursuing SCP-000 are to be classified as Immediate Disruption Targets. Approved countermeasures include information denial, falsified anomaly attribution, asset seizure, and, where unavoidable, neutralization of operational leadership. Lethal force is authorized only when failure to act is projected to result in SCP-000 exposure or provocation.
Under no circumstances are third parties to attempt restraint, injury, coercion, or "rescue" of SCP-000. Modeling indicates that attempts to harm SCP-000 are statistically correlated with extreme anomalous backlash events exceeding previously recorded thresholds.
These measures are designated temporary pending reassessment of external threat vectors. Failure to maintain non-interference conditions is projected to escalate SCP-000 activity beyond Archon-containment tolerances and into unrecoverable reality destabilization scenarios.
Description:
SCP-000 is a human male of Japanese origin, approximately 1.8 m in height, with red, spiked hair and red irises. Physical examination has not been possible; however, visual observation indicates a normal human physiology with above-average physical conditioning.
SCP-000 demonstrates a wide range of anomalous abilities, collectively manifesting as reality-resistant outcomes that overwhelmingly favor SCP-000's survival and success during hostile encounters. These abilities have been observed activating exclusively in response to perceived threats. SCP-000 has not directly attacked Foundation personnel; all prior casualties occurred before direct interaction could be established.
Civil records indicate SCP-000 was born on [REDACTED] in [REDACTED] Prefecture, Japan. SCP-000 self-identifies as "Igo Heita". Employment history includes multiple unrelated professions requiring high degrees of specialization, mastery, or physical skill inconsistent with SCP-000's age and documented education level. SCP-000 is currently employed as a professional Uma Musume trainer in [REDACTED].
The mechanism by which SCP-000 acquires advanced technical, physical, and strategic competencies in compressed timeframes remains unknown.
Addendum 000.1: Revised Description of Anomalous Properties
SCP-000 exhibits two primary anomalous effects that manifest selectively in response to specific categories of external interference. For internal clarity, Foundation personnel continue to use informal nicknames for these effects. While the terminology is nonstandard, both phenomena have been observed repeatedly and display consistent internal logic.
Crucially, neither effect activates in response to challenges, conflicts, or consequences that are contextually appropriate to SCP-000's lived circumstances. SCP-000 remains vulnerable to hardship, failure, injury, and personal loss when these arise naturally from his established environment and narrative trajectory.
SCP-000-A — "Plot Armor"
"Plot Armor" refers to a conditional, passive anomalous effect that activates only when SCP-000 is threatened by phenomena that are externally incongruent with the narrative context in which SCP-000 exists.
In such cases, probability, causality, and environmental factors subtly reorganize to prevent SCP-000 from being harmed, restrained, terminated, or removed by forces that do not "belong" within the surrounding narrative structure.
Examples of non-congruent threats include, but are not limited to:
1. Cross-contextual entities (e.g., extraterrestrial invasions, apocalyptic anomalies, or containment mechanisms incongruent with SCP-000's baseline setting)
2. Meta-level interference intended to forcibly resolve, terminate, or extract SCP-000 from his environment
3. Threats whose scale, origin, or intent exceeds what would reasonably emerge from SCP-000's lived circumstances
When activated, Plot Armor manifests as localized improbability correction, rather than overt invulnerability. Documented effects include:
1. Mechanical, logistical, or human failure among hostile actors
2. Coincidental interruptions that derail containment or attack efforts
3. Environmental disruptions that prevent decisive action without directly targeting SCP-000
4. Redirection or dissipation of hostile outcomes rather than their negation
Importantly, Plot Armor does not activate in response to challenges that arise organically from SCP-000's environment (e.g., interpersonal conflict, occupational failure, physical injury consistent with baseline reality). In such cases, SCP-000 experiences consequences normally.
Foundation analysis concludes that Plot Armor functions as a boundary enforcement mechanism, preserving narrative coherence rather than guaranteeing SCP-000's success or safety.
SCP-000-B — "Plot Weapon"
"Plot Weapon" designates a situational, cumulative anomalous effect that manifests only when SCP-000 encounters persistent, escalating opposition that is both non-congruent with his narrative context and resistant to his existing capabilities.
When triggered, SCP-000 may acquire new competencies, insights, or resources sufficient to address the external disruption. Unlike Plot Armor, Plot Weapon:
Is not automaticRequires sustained exposure to the incongruent threatActivates incrementally rather than instantaneously
Observed manifestations include:
1. Gradual acquisition of skills or knowledge without formal training
2. Emergent abilities that directly counter the specific external anomaly
3. Strategic insight that reframes the conflict rather than overpowering it
4. Capabilities that persist only insofar as the external threat continues to violate narrative coherence
Notably, abilities gained through Plot Weapon appear to be retained only as experiential growth, rather than as permanent power escalation. Skills or insights that remain after the conflict do so in a diminished, non-anomalous form consistent with SCP-000's personal development.
Plot Weapon does not activate during conflicts that are contextually appropriate, even if such conflicts place SCP-000 at genuine risk of failure. SCP-000 can lose, retreat, or suffer long-term consequences in these situations.
The Foundation, therefore, assesses Plot Weapon not as a mechanism of guaranteed victory, but as a corrective response to narrative contamination, ensuring SCP-000 is not rendered irrelevant or helpless by forces that should not exist within his story.
Addendum 000.2: Discovery
SCP-000 entered Foundation awareness during a containment breach at Site [REDACTED], located in [REDACTED] Prefecture, Japan, on [REDACTED]. During this incident, SCP entities, Foundation personnel, and D-class individuals attempting to engage SCP-000 experienced a series of cascading fatal accidents and environmental failures.
During the breach, SCP-000 sustained multiple injuries. One injury resulted in measurable blood loss, a sample of which was recovered during post-incident cleanup and designated SCP-000-1.
Initial analysis of SCP-000-1 revealed nonstandard quantum-level properties. Research conducted by Dr. [REDACTED] in 19[REDACTED] concluded that subatomic components exhibit a recurring symbolic identifier resembling a corporate trademark associated with the name "CYGAMES." No verified connection exists between this phenomenon and the contemporary corporation of the same name.
Following this discovery, Dr. [REDACTED] was terminated under [REDACTED] protocol, and a large-scale memetic suppression campaign was enacted to eliminate public and internal dissemination of the findings.
Subsequent comparative analysis indicates that all known matter examined by the Foundation exhibits the same trademarked quantum signature, with the sole exception of SCP-000-1. Current consensus holds that SCP-000 is the only confirmed unregistered or "unbranded" existence identified to date.
Due to the impracticality of acquiring additional samples, SCP-000-1 is stored in a maximum-security biohazard containment unit under constant surveillance in site [REDACTED]. In the event of a site breach, SCP-000-1 is designated Priority Alpha for immediate recovery.
Addendum 000.█ — Research Access Notice
Due to the volume of attempted experimental interactions involving SCP-000, individual summaries have been omitted from the main body of this document. These attempts primarily involved controlled proximity trials, observation escalation, and indirect engagement using D-class personnel under varying operational parameters.
All such trials resulted in premature termination of testing protocols. Outcomes ranged from spontaneous environmental failure and loss of personnel to large-scale containment disruptions requiring cross-site response. No attempt has successfully reduced the distance to SCP-000 beyond established non-interference thresholds.
Personnel seeking detailed accounts of these incidents are directed to consult Research Log SCP-000-R, Incident Series 000-D, and associated appendices. Access is restricted to Level 4 clearance or higher due to the frequency of mass-casualty events and the presence of cognitohazard-adjacent data patterns observed in post-incident analysis.
It is recommended that reviewers familiarize themselves with Archon-class operational doctrine prior to examining these logs. While individual entries vary in scale and duration, the cumulative conclusion is consistent: repeated attempts to "approach" SCP-000 provide no new data beyond confirmation of existing models.
Further experimentation of this nature has been suspended indefinitely.