Li Haimo feigned still being half-asleep, his eyes glazed over as he shuffled to the stone inscription in the courtyard. I'll just play dumb like I haven't fully woken up. Chicken out and call it a day—that's the plan.
But when he reached the hot spring pool's edge, the scene hit him like a bucket of cold water: felled tree trunks scattered everywhere, the stone inscription cleaved in two by his own blade and crushed to rubble beneath the timber. No room for pretense now. Xiao Meng and Xue Nu trailed close behind, worried he might still be lost in his haze.
What now? Panicking here, online and waiting... Can't keep up the act.
"Has Master fully woken yet?" Xue Nu asked.
"He's faking it—don't call him out. Play along and see how long he can drag this out." Xiao Meng had known the moment Li Haimo stirred awake and planted that gentle kiss on her lips. She wasn't sure if he recalled the chaos, but the way he stumbled out pretending to be oblivious? Yeah, this guy remembered everything.
"If he's awake, why bother with the charade?" Xue Nu wondered, puzzled.
"Were it you who'd snapped out of it, only to recall the wild nonsense you'd pulled alongside him these past days—would you own up to remembering?" Xiao Meng shot back with a sly smile.
"No way," Xue Nu admitted, then it clicked. So that's how Master rolls.
Li Haimo hunkered down in the corner, counting ants. What's a couple more absurd moments after the past few days' madness? I'll bail tomorrow, pretend I just woke up with amnesia. Solid. And so he started tallying them one by one, for real.
"Master's doing what now?" Xue Nu blinked in confusion.
"Counting ants. He once said that when something mortifying or depressing hits, he turns to ant-counting. If they won't come out, he'll poke the nest with grass to flush them. If he loses track... well, he just squashes 'em one by one and starts over." Xiao Meng explained.
Xue Nu's jaw dropped. Counting ants? Fine, I get that. Stirring the nest if they're hiding? Sure. But restarting by stepping on them 'til they're gone? What kind of twisted logic is that? Are you even human?
"He's done it before. Back on Mount Taiyi, the ants were huge—no cultivation back then, either. Let those massive black ones swarm all over him, stinging him into a blistery mess. Senior Brother Xiaoyaozi was patching him up when he spilled the story—then walloped him all over again." Xiao Meng went on.
"Master was that much of a rascal? Surviving to this day must've taken some doing. I'd kill to meet Senior Uncle Xiaoyao right now—how'd he hold back from finishing him off?" Xue Nu said.
"That's why I suggest you head back to the mountain and check on our domineering sect leader and that fetching little senior uncle. Secrets between the head and the youngest—ones you wouldn't believe." Xiao Meng grinned, eyes fixed on how long Li Haimo could milk this.
Oblivious to being made, Li Haimo stayed engrossed in his ants. But these were tiny yellow ones—hours in, and none budged. He fetched a slender blade of grass, easing it down the hole to tease them out. Soon, a frantic swarm erupted, skittering everywhere. Now how do I stomp these? One boot, and poof—no trace left.
On Mount Taiyi, he'd crunched black ants the size of twigs—stout enough to brew into liquor afterward, though their bites stung like fire. But these puny yellows? Useless. One step and they're dust. Nothing to show for it.
Wait—those with the oversized heads and those scissor-like mandibles? Prime for toying with. He snatched one, plopping it on the ground and scratching a line in the dirt. The ant froze at the barrier, antennae twitching. Dash it across, redraw the line—hours of fun from a single bug. Li Haimo dove right in.
"What's he up to now?" Xue Nu stared as Li Haimo squared off against a lone ant.
"Playing ant games. Says they navigate by scent, so scramble the trail ahead, and they're lost as can be."
"I gotta know how Master made it through childhood—figuring out that many ways to mess with ants? Even down to how they smell their way around." Xue Nu shook her head in awe. Mount Taiyi must've been a black hole of boredom to spawn this many ant tricks. Who even studies that?
"Don't lump him in with the Daoists. We're all grinding away at cultivation—he's the one with time on his hands. Mount Taiyi's one-of-a-kind oddball." Xiao Meng cut in before Xue Nu got the wrong idea about their home.
"Senior Brother—lunch!"
At noon, Xiao Meng called out to Li Haimo, still locked in mortal combat with his yellow-ant foe. He pretended not to hear, glued to his game. She shrugged and headed back to the parlor.
"Master's skipping?" Xue Nu asked.
"Nope. He'll sham his way in, stuff his face, then sham right back out." Xiao Meng knew better—four years of shared meals and roofs, and she could read him like a worn scroll. One glance, one twitch, and she had his number.
"If only I could claim one heart, white-haired we'd never part.
These simple words demand a courage vast,
Never dreamed of losing you—self-deceit at last.
In the end, you hide deep in the echoes of my song."
Li Haimo crooned the tune as he sauntered into the parlor, plunking down beside Xiao Meng. In his palm, a ring woven from foxtail grass—he offered it to her with both hands.
Xiao Meng froze, the melody sweet enough: one heart, white-haired inseparable. But this? A scraggly weed circlet? What was the angle?
Li Haimo had blanked—this era knew no rings for betrothal. Bracelets were the heirlooms passed down, not some looped grass trinket.
Xue Nu gawked at the pair. Another round of Mount Taiyi weirdness? My playbook's running dry—too many curves I never saw coming. A serenade for love? Sure, Gao Jianli had wooed her with his qin strings once. But a fluffy-tailed grass ring? Like a dangly caterpillar. Would any girl go for that? And if Taiyi tastes run fuzzy, why's Little Aunt's face stuck in stunned horror, not swoony delight?
Li Haimo clocked Xiao Meng's blank stare—nothing like the reaction he'd banked on. What's her deal? Craft gone off? He double-checked the ring: nope, still cute as ever.
"Nice tune and all, but... what's this supposed to be?" Xiao Meng broke the standoff. Let him tally ants all morning? Fine, he's bored. But us spectating that tedium? Double the drag. Echoed that old internet zinger: some guy posts about watching his neighbor grind Minesweeper all night from boredom. Top reply? You're the bored one.
Li Haimo's brain caught up in a flash. Right—no rings here. Epic fail.
"Nothing, just messing around. Xue Nu, your turn—have at it." He chucked the ring her way. She caught it, bemused, pocketing it for later grilling.
"When'd you actually wake up?" Xiao Meng asked mid-bite, casual as you please.
Li Haimo's frame jolted. "This morning."
"Ant-counting fun?"
"Eh, decent. Next time, you're in on it."
"Wu Chenzi!"
"Present!"
"Step outside with me. Now."
Xue Nu watched the duo, zipping her lip and shooting Li Haimo a good luck, you're on your own glance.
Minutes later, Xiao Meng strolled back, flushed with vigor. Then Li Haimo limped in—shirt rumpled, dusted with grit.
"I'm telling you, if I held a grudge, you'd stand no chance against me!" Li Haimo griped, rolling his shoulder.
"Wanna test that outside again?" Xiao Meng smirked.
"Lunch—lunch! Your favorite braised pork!" Li Haimo folded like wet paper.
"You remember everything from before?" Xiao Meng pressed.
"If I say I don't remember a thing... you buying it?" Li Haimo ventured.
"You think? Senior Brother, Senior Brother—are you a tiger or what?"
Li Haimo broke out in a cold sweat. Busted. No recovery from this. Never bet on a woman forgetting a stunt like that.
_
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