I shouldn't have run.
That was the first thing I thought as soon as my feet hit the hallway tiles too fast, too loud, my breath already uneven. People turned to look. Someone almost bumped into me. I muttered an apology without stopping.
My heart was racing like I'd done something wrong.
I hadn't.
I just… panicked.
Why was she looking at me like that?
The image burned in my head no matter how hard I tried to push it away—Rei by the window of 2-A, her smile soft, her eyes focused on me like I was the only thing in the courtyard that mattered.
I hated that look.
No.
That was a lie.
I hated what that look did to me.
I ducked into the nearest stairwell, pressing my back against the cool concrete wall. The bell hadn't rung yet, but my chest felt like it was about to split open anyway.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
In.
Out.
My sketchbook was clutched to my chest again. I hadn't even realized I'd grabbed it.
"Get it together," I whispered to myself.
This was stupid. I was acting stupid.
It was just Rei.
Just a girl from 2-A.
Just someone who talked too much and smiled too easily and somehow walked into my life like she belonged there.
So why did my face still feel hot?
Why did my fingers shake?
I slid down until I was sitting on the steps, knees pulled in, forehead resting against them.
This always happened.
Whenever someone got too close.
Whenever I felt seen.
Back in middle school, I learned quickly that being quiet was safer. If you didn't talk, people didn't ask questions. If you didn't react, they eventually stopped looking.
But Rei didn't stop.
She noticed.
She stayed.
And that scared me more than being alone ever had.
Footsteps echoed in the stairwell.
I froze.
Please don't let it be her.
Please don't—
"Aya?"
My name.
Her voice.
Soft. Careful. Not teasing.
My heart jumped straight into my throat.
I didn't answer.
"Aya," Rei said again, closer now. "I saw you run. I just… wanted to make sure you were okay."
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Why did she always sound like she actually cared?
"I'm fine," I said quickly, too quickly. "You didn't have to follow me."
There was a pause. Then the sound of her sitting down a few steps above me.
"I know," she said. "But I wanted to."
Of course she did.
I peeked up despite myself. Rei was sitting sideways on the stairs, elbows resting on her knees, expression unreadable—not smiling, not joking.
Just… there.
"You ran away," she said gently.
"I didn't," I snapped. Then quieter, "I just needed space."
She nodded. "Okay."
That was it.
No pushing.
No teasing.
No Then let me.
The silence stretched between us, but it wasn't sharp. It was awkward. Heavy. Real.
"…Did I do something wrong?" Rei asked.
The question hit harder than it should have.
"No," I said immediately. "You didn't."
"Then why do you look like you're about to disappear?"
I opened my mouth. Closed it.
How was I supposed to explain this?
How do you tell someone they make your chest feel too full? That their attention feels like sunlight when you've lived in shade too long?
"I'm not good at this," I muttered.
"At what?"
"People."
Rei smiled—not her usual bright one. Something softer. Understanding.
"Yeah," she said quietly. "I noticed."
That almost made me laugh. Almost.
"I don't know what you want from me," I admitted, staring at the floor.
She didn't hesitate.
"I just want to know you."
Simple. Honest. Terrifying.
I hugged my sketchbook tighter. "I don't think I'm interesting."
Rei tilted her head. "That's where you're wrong."
I finally looked at her fully.
She wasn't smiling.
She was serious.
"You don't talk much," she continued. "But when you do, it matters. You notice things other people ignore. You draw what you feel instead of what looks nice."
She paused.
"And you make me want to slow down."
My chest ached.
"That's… too much," I whispered.
"I know," she said. "I won't push."
She stood up, dusting off her skirt. "I just didn't want you thinking I was laughing about you with my friends. I wasn't."
I stiffened. "…You talked about me?"
"Yeah," she admitted. "I said your name."
Something in my chest twisted sharply.
"Oh."
"But only because I wanted to," she added. "Not because they asked."
Silence again.
Then the bell rang.
The sound jolted us both back into reality.
Rei smiled this time—small, careful. "We should go. Don't wanna be late."
I nodded, standing slowly.
As we walked out of the stairwell together, she stopped.
"Aya," she said.
I looked up.
"I'm not going anywhere," she said softly. "Okay?"
I didn't answer right away.
But I didn't run either.
"…Okay," I said.
And for the first time that day, my heartbeat finally slowed.