--Sick?
She immediately felt guilty for judging me as a shady guy trying to make an impression by taking off his accessories. In fact, to make it up to me, she hugged my arm while talking about high school in her little feminine voice.
Since we were the first because I had arrived a little early, Meiling suggested we go get drinks at the convenience store with Rui's money.
Luckily for her wallet, I was planning on using Jianyu's money for that instead. I felt sorry for my friend; his girlfriend was ruthless.
On the way there, she asked me a whole bunch of questions about my accommodation, my family situation, my favorite color, if I'd ever had a girlfriend, and why I was here today... All stuff I answered without adding too many details because I wasn't very comfortable
-So, you're Shang Feng Yu, born in September, your favorite color is yellow, you live with your mom and dad, you've never dated anyone, you live in the working-class part of town, you went to Beijing for health reasons, and you're going to continue your studies at our high school starting Monday ?
-Yeah...is that all you want to know?
-No. What's your blood type?
-B...
I saw her writing down the information in her notes. She must have had a record of everyone's life on her little pink glitter phone. I wasn't paying much attention to it, and it even made me laugh, which prompted her to ask me even more questions.
-Thank you very much, Mr. Shang~
-You're welcome. Did I pass the test?
-With flying colors. I even appreciated the purity that emanated from the moment you told me you'd never had a girlfriend.
While I was drinking cold cokes, instead of helping me carry them, she was removing my sunglasses and mask from my face to assess my physique. This time, she was taking the phone to look at me, which she hadn't done, taking me for a Don Juan born yesterday.
-You're not bad. You have money. You're a little shy and fragile. How come you don't have a girlfriend?!
-Why? Girls like fragility...?
-Of course! It's the fashion!
"The fashion"? I spent my time being uncomfortable around her. Hadn't she learned to respect her personal bubble or privacy in elementary school?
It didn't surprise me that Rui hesitated to break up with her on the spot to go out with me. I remembered that he liked the calm I brought him in middle school; Meiling was anything but calm.
Well, she wasn't just talkative, she was also kind and pretty. She had a good heart and knew a lot of things
I put my mask back on but left my glasses in the shopping bag because I didn't want to look unfriendly by covering my face. I wasn't an albino either. As we gave Rui his can, Meiling said,
-Can I call you Shang?
-Why would you want to call me Shang, haha?
-I don't know. It's a Beijing name, there are no Shangs here. I think it's cool.
Rui smiled as if his two babies were getting to know each other, only he frowned when she offered to introduce me to her friends.
She leaned into my ear to say that if my style was more "masculine," she had friends of that ilk to introduce me to.
Rui had heard perfectly well and, to play a little, showed great interest.
-Wait, I have pictures! I was also thinking it was weird that you didn't have a girlfriend. Would you be my gay friend? It's trendy to have a gay friend.
I giggled, but Rui didn't, and she was keeping an eye on me. At least Meiling hadn't suspected anything weird with her boyfriend.
She started searching her profiles for pictures of the guys she'd told me about
-Nowadays, they hide more, so it's pretty easy to know who likes boys or girls...it's so popular that it's easy to figure out...hey, look at Shang...
I stared into space while waiting, taking off my cap and mask to drink. She didn't have time to show me the photos before she had to get up because I'd asked her to serve the drinks. She was clearly doing it to take credit for buying the drinks, but it suited me because I didn't feel like socializing today.
I turned the other way as I saw more and more people arriving. With my little white sneakers, I was embarrassed. They were all dressed in worn clothes that looked cooler; I stood out because I looked so put together.
-Actually, what did you do to your arm?
-My dog bit me.
Sorry, Grizzly...but I didn't have any other excuses right away. She noted on my profile that I liked animals because I had a dog, and I instantly burst out laughing. Wow...she was really on the lookout for my personal information. It made me want to keep quiet for fear of accidentally revealing my credit card number.
-That guy told me Chenbai was coming. He likes boys, so give him the eye.
-...I don't want to be in a relationship...
-It's good to be in a relationship, seduce him.
She patted me hard on the back...
Very nice, but I didn't know who it was and I wanted to know him even less...who calls his son Chenbai? "Elder white"? I didn't understand the meaning of his first name...
-Why ask Rui Han not to announce you? Don't you want us to know you're here?
-I'm not fit to play, I'll only embarrass them if they know who I am...
Her eyes glued to her phone, she looked so jaded as she replied to her friends on Instagram with emojis that I discreetly judged her...
She was nice to whoever she wanted to be, and when I thought I'd never get a response to what I said, she replied:
-I don't think they're just playing soccer today. They'll play a match or two, and we'll have an after-party at a cafe or restaurant. The loser will have to pay, that kind of thing...
-Ah...don't be mad at me if I slip away.
-Out of the question for you to leave. I'm setting up a meeting with Chenbai for you.
I was distraught when she showed me her phone screen, more precisely her conversation with Chenbai, which ended with: come after I'll introduce you to a cute guy.
-Could you consult me first...?
She forcibly turned my head, all at once, whispering like a snake charmer in my ear:
-Chenbai is in the football club, he's 6'1" and has killer abs...
I suddenly felt so small and flabby.
So gay men with that build weren't a myth, they really existed...
He was definitely my type, except I couldn't imagine dating anyone, let alone a "popular" guy with a strange name.
I stared at Rui with doe eyes while they were all happy to be reunited. He caught my SOS look and came towards me as if I were their girlfriend.
-Meiling, stop mistreating him!
-I don't mistreat him. I set him up on dates.
Now he was the one giving me SOS looks that translated word for word as: "You're not going to cheat on me before we even go out? You're not going to, are you?"
There was indeed no way I would. He understood it with an averted glance as if he had just read my mind or learned a secret code.
-Rui! Stop flirting and come bet!
Meiling's stomach was rumbling even though she tried to hide it by coughing. With my entire arsenal on my face, I told her I was going to the bathroom. In fact, I took the opportunity to sneak home and took my allergy pills, put on a simple black T-shirt so as not to attract attention, and took a backpack with a mini fan, a spray bottle of cool water, and a packet of cakes for Meiling. Not to mention the thin, gray hooded jacket I already used to protect myself from the sun in the capital.
-Oh. There you are, Shang. I thought you'd slipped away.
-No, I went to the bathroom. At my place.
-It's true you live in the back neighborhood...
She fanned her face with her hand, her face red; I could even see her makeup becoming liquid on her skin. At the same time, she had been in full sun for a while.
I gave her the cap and lifted her hair to spray cool water on the back of her neck. She smiled with pleasure and started laughing as if it were a joke, but I was very serious. Sunstroke was annoying... I held the mini fan towards her face and just put the hood on for the sun. It didn't take long for her to look at me and smile
-Only gay Dutch people are that perfect. Or did you lie to me so you could get close to me without being suspected...?
-No, I really like men.
-Haha!
I left her the fan and opened a pack of cookies I'd bought in Beijing and had never eaten. They were exclusive, so I didn't know what to expect, tasting them first just in case to make sure they weren't disgusting.
I handed her the pack and she dipped her hand in, her face rather excited.
-They're amazing~!!
-You can keep the pack if you want. I don't like sweets.
-What's the brand?
She frowned, not knowing at all, then I whispered to her that they were cakes from Beijing, and they were even better in her eyes. I think she wanted to share them with Rui at first; after telling her where they were from, she took a picture of the pack and posted it on her Instagram story.
-The match starts, I can't give my darling a taste.
-Is that an excuse to keep them for yourself?
-Hehe, am I toast?
She encouraged her boyfriend until she was dying of heat and leaned against me. I felt her face rest on her thighs while she looked down at me, blinking cutely.
-Take off your glasses.
-Why...?
-What question? My eyes hurt, so give them to me.
I took off my glasses but remembered they were prescription and put them back on. She didn't look happy, having failed in her mission to make me fully reveal my face.
Then there was a whistle and she stood up suddenly.
-Oh no, Mumu's team has the point
-Mumu ?
-The boy with the messy hair and big black irises.
It was quite a nostalgic vision... seeing this boy with a thin but powerful body dashing forward, running after the ball, and smiling at the others around him... Muyang hadn't changed a bit when I saw him make the same gestures, abrupt but thoughtful, always aiming for victory.
-Mumu is short for Muyang. He's the captain of the soccer club. He's handsome, isn't he?
Unconsciously, I nodded. Forgetting what situation I was in. Well, everything was fine as long as I kept my hood and glasses on.
-Keep calling me Shang, I like it...
-I didn't intend to call you anything else~
I had briefly mentioned my problematic relationship with Muyang to Rui... at halftime he came to me in a fit to tell me he swore he hadn't invited him. I also told myself that since our breakup was caused by him, he couldn't have suddenly become his friend.
-What are you two talking about?
-Nothing.
Meiling was too dangerous, she knew too much for us to be able to vent about our worries next to her, so he changed the subject.
-We didn't have any money, so we bet you a kiss, Meiling.
-Oh, great! Can Shang Baby be a competitor too?
-Huh? But he doesn't even play...
Other people were coming up behind, laughing.
Probably Rui's friends because they were grabbing him by the shoulders.
-Say right away that you want to kiss him! Since earlier, you've been climbing on top of him and making him your slave.
I looked up, all so big they blocked the sunlight from me. They must have been from the high school basketball club because they looked athletic, but to all be so tall...
One of them leaned over and took off my glasses, but the other stopped him. I was docile, I didn't move, while they stood in front of me as if I owed them money.
-You're going to ruin the surprise.
-Surprised by what?
-Well, there's something missing...
I recognized one...and two. We were in the same class.
I took off my glasses because I saw them worried about what I looked like, didn't they really remember me?
-Guys, it's-
Rui told me to shut up, pointing at Muyang, and I smiled in annoyance. He'd follow me to hell to prevent me from burning quietly in the flames.
-A pleasure to meet you.
They all looked at me from afar, dazzled by the whiteness of my skin, as if I came from another planet.
-I understand why he's being chatted up by a girl who's already taken.
-We should introduce him to Chenbai.
Why was everyone talking about Chenbai? Yet they didn't know I was that way and they still wanted to introduce me to him. I felt a little overwhelmed, between avoiding attention, having meetings arranged behind my back, and no one recognizing me.
To protect me, Rui made them leave, telling them to win their match to be able to talk to me.
-What pains.
-You think...?
She took advantage of my missing glasses to take a series of photos of me while I wasn't looking.
-Don't pull a face.
She ended up giving me back my cap when she saw me turning red with heat. She didn't hesitate à second to put her hands in my jacket to take it off.
She even tried to look underneath to see if I was muscular, I hid my chest as much as I could by putting my hand on it.
-You're not muscular but you're not fat.
-You're planning on writing that too...?
She drained all my energy in a few minutes. I must have been there for an hour and I was already sweating because of her...
I wanted to go home, take Grizzly in my arms, turn on the air conditioning and eat a popsicle in my bed.
I leaned on the bench to channel my energy away from my head, realizing that there was no point in thinking now.
-You guys are really useless.
-We're in the basketball club, not the soccer club. We use our hands, not our feet.
-...so what? It's the same.
Meiling seemed really excited to kiss the winners; those who wanted to even lined up in front of her.
-Let's run away before they make me pay for my food!
-Haha, tell me, you didn't purposely distract their attention thanks to Meiling?
He signaled me to be quiet and took my hand, smiling. I would have followed him if a shadow hadn't hidden the sun from me at that moment. At first glance, I knew...that I should have run away without question, but it was too late.
-Do I get my kiss?
-...me?
Rui let go of my hand, as surprised as I was, but I stood up and he leaned in so I could kiss his cheek. Did he recognize me under my glasses and cap, or had I changed too much? Was Feng Yu in Beijing or buried in the garden of my old house for him? Because I didn't feel like he recognized me for a single second.
I detached my lips from Muyang's cheek like a goodbye because he left without even looking at me...
My heart was pounding... his skin was even softer than before...
I took off my glasses as I watched him leave as if he had deliberately ignored me, revealing a hurt look.
-Me too, please.
I regained my senses and quickly kissed the boy behind him.
His voice might have changed, my hair was longer and my skin whiter, but I was still pretty much the same. How could he not recognize me? Was he doing it on purpose to get revenge on me for leaving without telling him?
Rui was taking me with him, having seen the same thing as me and not being happy at all.
He carried my jacket to the exit of the park where, alone, he took me in his arms.
-You're still coming to eat a savory waffle with us, right?
-If you want.
-You left your fan with Meiling.
-She can keep it if she wants to...
How... could I get past this moment?
Muyang looked me in the eyes but didn't blink...like a stranger looking at another stranger. It was as if he had erased me from his memory, Feng Yu no longer existed for him.
No trace of me in his room or on his expression, his mind would have condemned the memories containing my image?
-I'm so different?
-To me, you're the same...especially in character.
-Are you telling me that I don't look anything like the one you went out with?
He looked at me for a long time so as not to say anything stupid, from head to toe, taking my hands to look at them, then he ended up smelling my forearm, which I couldn't stand and blushed.
-You smell of sunscreen...
He preferred to smell my hair, which had always the same smell of cinnamon shampoo.
-Oh~ it smells so good!
-Stop, it's embarrassing...
He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes; his gaze was, in the light, so pure and beautiful. I couldn't turn away from his face as he held me so tightly in his hands. I was embarrassed that he could feel the burning of my skin and hear my heartbeat despite the noise.
-Your eyes are still so beautiful and your nose hasn't even grown, your lips on the other hand...
-What?
-I remember very clearly that they weren't this pink. How many boys did you kiss in Beijing?
-None! I barely had any friends!!
He would stretch my cheeks and then, panicking, pull away when he saw his friends arrive.
In the capital... I only spoke to a few people who desired, I never had feelings for them, I never looked them in the eye.
I had their numbers in my SIM card and a few photos taken without my consent, but it was all a burden, so I threw everything away. Maybe deep down, I'm like Muyang; the same way he erased me from his life, I deliberately deleted other people from memory.
-Savory pancakes! Savory pancakes!
-Let me pay, Rui.
-Huh? Why?
-Because I know very well that you can't afford it.
He was about to spit out the piece of pancake he had in his mouth while I stared at him with a tired look.
Why make bets if he can't keep them?
-I took a summer job, I can blow my savings.
-You're going to pay for 20 people?
He nodded confidently until I asked him to do the math in his head.
-120...yuan...
-Let me pay.
-My friend...no, my love...
I smiled and got up to pay. It wasn't like I was short of money; in fact, it was the only thing Mom was concerned about. She continually gave me money that I didn't spend. I had to spend it on something, and if it was to make Rui indebted, even better. He won't be able to back out by saying Meiling is better than me.
-Are you paying?
- Ah...
I quickly inserted my card into the machine and typed in my PIN. Who was it? A thief...? An old acquaintance, or a pervert?
I quickly put my card away when he just found his.
-...too late? I wanted to share...
Looking up, I saw that it was this handsome, tall boy Meiling was telling me to flirt with with the lousy name.
-Hi- Do you want to sit at a separate table to get to know each other?