Hermione looked up at the sound of the familiar voice.
Standing there was Aisen. Aisen, who had vanished to who-knows-where.
"Aisen…!"
In that instant, a flood of words rushed through Hermione's mind.
*What have you been doing? Where have you been?*
And most importantly, wasn't this an overly dramatic entrance? Hermione inwardly swallowed the childish complaint.
Seeing Aisen appear, a flash of panic crossed Malfoy's face.
No matter what anyone said, it was a known fact throughout Hogwarts that Aisen was the top student, and that he possessed the practical skills to match.
Malfoy opened his mouth. "What is it, Potter? Here to protect your half-breed friend?"
"Well now, where's the half-breed? I don't see one. But I am of the opinion that trash should be cleaned up when you see it."
The moment of hesitation was brief. As Aisen replied and reached into his coat for his wand, Hermione quickly spoke up.
She knew Aisen was an extremely powerful wizard, but the odds were against him. Malfoy's gang of Slytherins numbered well over ten.
And even if he defeated all ten of them, it was clear as day that the situation would become serious if the professors saw. Gryffindor would lose points, and he could even be disciplined.
As a model student, Hermione naturally tried to stop Aisen.
"Aisen, wai—huh?"
That is, until she saw Aisen pull something other than a wand from his coat.
What Aisen held in his hand was… a handbell?
***
The 20th century was a distinctly different era from the 19th.
This was true for both wizarding society and Muggle society.
The skies of London, once shrouded in smog and dark fog, had cleared enough for the sun to occasionally show its face, and the speed of broomsticks had increased dozens of times over.
A hundred years was a long time for any human.
Nevertheless, there are some things in the world that do not change even in a hundred years.
Things like the Hogwarts Express, the habit of using quills instead of fountain pens, or the tradition of only wearing cloaks.
…Listing them out, perhaps a hundred years wasn't such a long time for wizards after all.
In any case, some things are bound to remain unchanged no matter how much time passes.
And if I had to pick just one thing that never changes, I would, without hesitation, choose human nature.
In the 19th century or the 20th. A thousand years ago or a thousand years from now, human nature will not change.
"That is the fundamental difference between a Muggle-born like you and a wizard-born like us. An innate limitation you can never overcome."
Watching Malfoy, who had snatched Hermione's book and now stood arrogantly with his gang of Slytherins, I became even more certain of this.
Children are such pure beings. In both good ways and bad.
What this means is that no one is more skilled at purely and viciously digging into another's wounds than a child.
A group of twelve-year-olds surrounds Hermione, hurling all sorts of insults, while the surrounding students stand by and watch.
Observing this, I couldn't help but find it utterly absurd, and a single sentence escaped my lips.
"This school is a complete mess."
In that case, what I had to do was very simple.
In fact, I had been contemplating something during my recent secluded training.
The era had changed to the 20th century, but was I still stuck in the 19th?
Perhaps a new era required a new method of dealing with things.
In the 19th century, if I got into a fight with a classmate, I could just hit them with a curse and leave them on the floor.
The staff in the Hogwarts hospital wing, accustomed to such sights, would then carry the body away without so much as a sigh and revive them. Hmm, thinking back, it was a truly advanced medical system.
But it seemed that in the 20th century, the weak-willed students were terrified by such things.
This was all because Albus was too lenient.
In any case, setting aside the changing times, I also thought it might be unseemly for me, someone who was actually much older than these kids, to get too serious with them.
So I decided to create a very non-violent and beautiful conflict resolution device for the students, one befitting the 20th century.
As a side note, as I was making it, all sorts of counter-spells came to mind, so I had to go through a considerably difficult creation process to counter every single one of them.
The magical tool born from that process was now in my hand.
Its name was—the Laughter Bell.
***
A handle made of white wood, a body finished with elegant brass-colored metal. It was… undeniably a handbell.
The kind you shake with one hand to ring.
At the sight of it, everyone in the Great Hall who had been watching the confrontation with bated breath blinked.
Even Hermione, who couldn't understand why on earth he had taken it out, was momentarily speechless.
Malfoy, who had been tense for a moment, saw the handbell Aisen pulled from his coat and a smirk spread across his face.
"Pfft, Potter! What are you going to do with that little jingle bell? You think if you ring it, a professor will appear like a butler and help you? Haha!"
The other Slytherins nearby also snickered at the sight.
Aisen, unconcerned by the mockery of Malfoy's group, shook the bell in his hand.
*Cling—*
"Hahaha, ha! This is so absurd, I can't stop laughing! Haha!"
*Cling—*
"Haha, ha. Hahahaha!"
*Cling—*
"Haha. Hahaha. Wai—what the. Hahaha! Ugh, hahaha!"
But the more Aisen shook the bell, the louder Malfoy's laughter became.
"Hahaha! Haha, hahaha! Th-this is! Haha! Hahaha!"
No, it wasn't just Malfoy.
*Cling—*
"""Hahaha, hahaha! Bwahaha! Hehehe! Teehee!"""
The Slytherin students standing behind Malfoy.
The bystander students who had been quietly watching from the tables.
And even the passing ghosts.
Laughter erupted from everyone in the Great Hall.
Everyone, that is, except for two people: Aisen, who was ringing the bell, and Hermione, who was watching with a bewildered expression.
*Cling—*
"Hahaha! Ha, the laughter, hahaha! It won't, stop! Hahahahaha!"
Despite the commands sent by his central nervous system, his facial muscles kept spasming upwards and laughter poured from his mouth.
His body was not obeying his commands. The moment Malfoy clearly registered that fact, a flash of fear crossed his face.
Aisen, watching this with a somewhat satisfied expression, nodded with a warm smile.
"Yes, people should live with laughter. Children like you need to laugh for your character to develop properly, you know?"
And then, he shook the handbell in his hand once more.
*Cling—*
"Haha, that bell! Haha! Damn it! Hahaha! S-stop! Hahaha! Please!"
Only then realizing that the cause was the very handbell he had mocked, Malfoy cried out as if in a frenzy.
Nevertheless, Aisen just smirked and said proudly, "Ah, this thing? What do you think? It's called the Laughter Bell. It's an item that makes people smile. A great invention, isn't it?"
"Hahaha, ha! Hahaha! Laughter Bell, my, hahaha! foot! Hahaha! Stop! Hahahahaha!"
Of course, that was hardly going to make Aisen stop.
*Cling— Cling-cling—Cling-cling-cling—*
Aisen shook the bell faster and faster, as if it were an accompaniment to a song.
Naturally, the more he did so, the more the Great Hall was filled with a sea of laughter.
"Haha, ha! Da-mn! Haha! Hngh! Huaaahaha! Haha!"
Laughing to the point of suffocation, one of the Slytherins drew his wand and pointed it at Aisen.
But to cast a spell, one first had to speak, and no one could properly recite an incantation while laughing like this.
*Cling—*
"Expe—haha—liar—haha—mus! Gyaaaah!"
And the consequences of a misspoken spell were bound to be disastrous. The spell he fired went astray and hit himself, and though he had clearly used a Disarming Charm, victims with all sorts of afflictions began to appear, from one who turned entirely green to another who sprouted horns on his back.
*Cling—*
"Ahaha, hahaha! Get—get it! Hahaha!"
In the end, they resorted to rushing Aisen blindly to snatch the Laughter Bell from him.
It went without saying that Aisen had anticipated such a move.
*Whoosh! Thump! Thump!*
Aisen cast a light slipping charm on the floor of the Great Hall, then crossed his arms and watched with amusement as the people who came rushing at him all slipped and fell.
Only Malfoy, the one with a working brain among them, stood still and watched the Slytherin mob slip and fall.
Only after all the Slytherins were on the ground did Aisen stop shaking the Laughter Bell.
Watching the scene, Aisen said to Hermione, "Isn't it funny?"
Hermione, who had been staring blankly at the scene, finally snapped back to her senses. "Wha—uh, huh? Huh? What did you say?"
Aisen chuckled. "All that talk about bloodlines, about how only pure-blood wizards are noble. And in the end, they resort to 'Muggle-style violence.' Isn't it funny?"
The sight of them trying to swing their unfamiliar fists, only to slip on the slick floor and fall gracelessly.
Looking at the pile of Slytherin students, a laugh escaped Hermione as well.
"Pfft. You're right."
Somehow, she felt her face getting hot.
***
Before long, the sea of laughter caused by the Laughter Bell subsided, and the now-quiet Great Hall was filled only with the sound of panting.
*Hmm, absolutely perfect. This seems to have been a very proper solution, even from a child protection standpoint. Albus would have wept with emotion if he'd seen it. Resolving a conflict with laughter!*
I smiled refreshingly and said, "What do you think? Doesn't a good laugh feel like it purifies the heart?"
"Hah, purifies, my foot!"
Malfoy, the only Slytherin still standing, shot us a resentful glare while catching his breath.
*My, my. It seems the darkness in his heart hasn't been sufficiently purified yet.*
When I silently raised the Laughter Bell, Malfoy flinched. Still, he gritted his teeth and spoke. "I won't forget this, Potter!"
He instinctively flinched whenever I moved the bell, yet he still said what he had to say. It was almost impressive.
I gave him a pathetic look, and as if provoked by it, Malfoy shouted desperately, "As if a Muggle-born could ever use proper magic! Potter! In the end, that half-breed wouldn't have even gotten her stolen book back without your help, a half-blood!"
I was so dumbfounded that I said, "Then what are you?"
"What?"
"If a Muggle-born can't use magic properly, then what does that make you, who's even worse at magic than a Muggle-born?"
"That's because that half-breed used some cunning trick…!"
I delivered the final blow to Malfoy. "Shut up, Malfoy. At least, the greatest wizard I know was a Muggle-born."
*Obviously, I'm talking about myself.*
"What did you say?"
"That Muggle-born, despite knowing nothing compared to other wizard-borns, was able to surpass them just by reading books."
*Also talking about me.*
"Regardless of his birth, he was the first to stand against Dark Wizards, before anyone else."
*Needless to say, me.*
"Ability and birth have nothing to do with each other. So, if you feel inferior, you should prove your own ability. Got it?"
Hearing those words, Malfoy's eyes seemed to glaze over. Without another word, he turned sharply and left the Great Hall. For a moment, I thought I saw a red glint in his eyes.
I clapped my hands, and the fallen Slytherin students stood up. "Why don't you all go back now? If you haven't had enough laughs, I can give you more."
Before I even finished my sentence, the terrified students all ran out of the Great Hall as if fleeing for their lives.
In the now-empty hall, I crossed my arms and looked around. *Good, perfectly sorted out. This is how a proper Hogwarts should be.*
I turned to Hermione and said, "Alright, let's go."
But for some reason, Hermione kept trying to avoid my gaze. When I tried to look at her face, she would turn her head, even covering her face with her hands. The face I could glimpse between her fingers was, for some reason, bright red.
*What's wrong with her?*
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, wait, it's nothing. Wait, could you not look at me right now?"
"Your face is red. You're sure you're not sick?"
"It's not that. But what you said to Malfoy earlier… no. It's nothing. Really."
She rambled on like that, and I thought I heard the sound of laughter. I gave her a strange look, as she kept laughing even though I hadn't rung the Laughter Bell. Then, I spotted a book on the floor that Malfoy had dropped. It was Lockhart's book.
*Right, this whole thing started because Malfoy took her book.*
I used magic to bring the book to my hand and handed it to Hermione, who was still hiding her face.
"Hermione, here's your book."
But Hermione glanced at the book, then shook her head. "No, it's okay. I don't need it anymore."
"What? You loved Lockhart's books. You don't need it?"
Hermione smiled enigmatically. "Yes, I don't think I'll need it anymore."
I was puzzled but nodded. If she said she didn't need it, I supposed it was fine.
"Anyway, what's been going on at school while I was gone?"
"…You don't know anything?"
"Nope. I just got here."
"Well, you see…"
***
That evening.
I was speechless at the sight of the large words written in the middle of a corridor.
[HARRY POTTER, DRACO MALFOY, GILDEROY LOCKHART. THEY WILL SLEEP FOREVER IN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS.]
*Oh, my disciple. What in the world have you been up to…?*
***