"You can be anything… anything you desire."
I remember, my mother, bright and sweet as she was, gently whispering those words in my ear. So young… and foolish, I let her envelop me in honey. How very sweet and tender those words felt on my little heart. How very loved… and important they made me feel. Little did I know, like the fool I was-like the fools we both were- how intoxicating and sickening that honey would soon become… How… it would drown us all in delusion and fantasy. So sweet and tender. So safe and warm. Yet, sticky and incapacitating. Either you remained still, knew your place, or you sunk.
Fools, we were- a hopeless idiot my mother was, especially. Hopeless till the day she succumbed to her own delusion and drowned in a sweet river of her own making.
That was how I learned, how I knew, looking at her lifeless corpse, that I did not want to become just 'anything' … like she was. I was not going to be a dreamer, a wisher. No, I was more. Meant for more. And wanted more.
I did not remain still nor did I sink, no, I defied the world and reality, and swum, unlike her, never like her, I conquered and devoured my sweet river… until all that remained was a path, a road to my glory.
I am not just anything, nor do I deserve such.
I AM and DERSERVE everything.
I will be what all desire, what even the world itself can only dream of becoming-acquiring.
They will love me, want me, NEED me.
… They will… more than she ever did… and more than she ever got the chance to.
They have to….