The thought was a spark in the numb void. It was immediately followed by another, colder one: the dragon's final words, seared into my soul. "Finish it."
I wasn't here for a joyride. I was here to settle a debt.
"Pippo," I said, my voice flat, all traces of false cheer gone. "Where is she?"
The bird's playful demeanor shifted. He understood. "Riruru? She's at the forward command post. The western ridge. They're... it's not good, piyo. The Dark King's beasts are pushing through the last defenses."
"Take me to her."
He didn't argue. He led me out of the chamber of absurd hope, back into the grim tunnels, and up toward the sound of war.
The semi-immortality the dragon had forced into me was a restless, humming thing under my skin. My leg, which should have been a ruined mess, carried me without a twinge. The fatigue was still there, a soul-deep weariness, but my body was walking too normally for it to be natural.
I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I have to do something. But I just don't know what.
"Sigh....." A deep exasperating voice sent out my throat, but Pippo was to busy in his mind to notice I guess.
I hate when my 'hard to notice' signs of discomfort goes unnoticed by others.
We found Riruru on a cliffside overlooking a valley of fire. Her wings were spread, not in majesty, but in a desperate, wide-legged stance as she directed energy blasts from her hands into the swarming darkness below. She was magnificent. And she was losing.
"Riruru!" Pippo called out.
She turned, her face smudged with soot and etched with exhaustion. And then she saw me.
Her eyes, which had been hard with focus, widened.
I don't know what expression I was supposed to make. But I'm sure the one I was making wasn't one I was supposed to.
"You came back," she breathed, the words almost lost in the din of battle.
Thick air stuck in my throat. I just nodded.
She pointed a trembling finger down into the valley. "The main force is there. They're being led by one of his generals. If we can break that line, we can buy time to evacuate the civilians to the deeper caves."
I looked down. I saw the hulking forms of chimeras, the glint of armored soldiers, and at the center, a towering, horned figure radiating malice. My hands curled into fists. The dragon's fire in my veins pulsed in response.
This was it. The moment. The dragon died for this. I had the power. I had to fight.
I took a step forward.
"Yeah. So the best course of action should be a distraction strategy. I think-"
I froze. He was looking at me. He.... Remembered me. Odorome.
And then I stopped.
I looked at the chaos. I saw the Metropian soldiers being torn apart. And the soldiers of both sides killing each other. I saw the fire, the death, the sheer, overwhelming scale of it. I remembered the feeling of my own screams tearing my throat raw. I remembered the lake of my own blood.
And I heard a different voice, not the dragon's, but my own, from a lifetime ago: "I can't. It's too much. There's no hope."
The power inside me felt like a cage. The hope in Riruru's eyes felt like a verdict.
I took a step back.
"I... I'm sorry" I whispered, the words barely audible.
"What?"
Riruru's face fell.
"Nobita?" She took a step closer. "Hey, snap out of it! I know it's hard. But you can-"
"I CAN'T!"
She shook a little from my outburst.
".... I understand. Maybe you should rest more. You can join later. "
Riruru looked back on the battlefield. Maybe she was pitying me for my previous condition.
"I.. Don't want to."
She didn't reply. Pippo looked up, confused.
"Wait, nobita-"
"I can't!" I lost it for a second. My face stretched as my fingers dug in my skin, tears pouring out. It was confusing. I don't know. Why am I crying now? "IT'S TOO MUCH! WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?! WHY DID YOU BRING ME BACK IN HERE!?"
The slap was so fast I didn't see it coming. Her hand connected with my cheek, the sting a bright, shocking pain that cut through the numbness.
Riruru looked at me with an expressionless face.
"We're sorry for that. You can escape from the path for emergency exit. It's not your war to begin with."
Her words did not match her expression. Yet, I was relived hearing those words. Maybe that's what I wanted to hear. Permission. To go away.
I felt my muscles stop creaking.
"But ri-"
"Take him back." Pippo's voice was cut short immediately by a sharp order from Riruru. The blue bird looked down, nodding slowly.
I think I also saw a few twar drops falling.
She turned, spread her wings, and dove back into the battle, leaving me alone on the ridge with pippo.
I stood there, hollowed out. The sounds of the battle faded into a dull roar in my ears.
I was about to move. But I couldn't.
I didn't even fight back when the shadows detached themselves from the rocks behind me. When the cold, hard hands of Odorome's soldiers grabbed my arms, I didn't struggle.
"Nobita!"
As they dragged me away into the darkness, the last thing I saw was Pippo, watching from a distance, his tiny form silhouetted against the fire, his hope finally, truly, extinguished.