When I was born, there were only Mama and Obaa-chan at home, and they raised me with overflowing love. I remember being very happy, even though we weren't a wealthy family.
Papa was never there from the beginning. But there was a reliable boy in our house - Pete, the dog that my late Ojii-chan had picked up. He didn't have any pedigree papers, but he was smart, brave, and had the kindest eyes. I loved Pete so much and always played with him. Mama and Obaa-chan would watch over us with smiles. That's my earliest memory.
I first met Chifumi-kun when I was three years old, on my first day at kindergarten.
"No!! I want to go home! I want to be with Pete!"
Having only known Mama, Obaa-chan and Pete, kindergarten scared me. I remember crying so much on my first day that I caused trouble. In the end, Mama left me there, and I was crying in a corner of the kindergarten yard.
"What's wrong? Does your tummy hurt?"
The one who spoke to me like that was Chifumi-kun.
"Pete!?"
I was shocked when I saw his face. His eyes looked exactly like Pete's. Thinking back now, it's silly, but I truly believed that Pete, worried about me, had transformed into Chifumi-kun to come help me.
After that, we became close... though to be honest, it was more like I was clinging to Chifumi-kun one-sidedly, so I'm sure I was quite a nuisance.
In April when I turned five (being born early in the year), Pete went to heaven. I was so sad that I kept crying even at kindergarten. Chifumi-kun came up to me then and said:
"Stop crying, Nanami-chan. If you keep crying forever, Pete won't be able to go to heaven."
"But... but... Pete, Pete, I want to play with Pete more!"
"...Okay. Then starting today, I'll be Pete. I'll play with you, Nanami-chan. So please stop crying."
"Waaaaaahhh!! Pete!!"
I bawled and hugged him, and Chifumi-kun kept patting my head. I can't express how much that saved me. Looking back now, I think my feelings for Chifumi-kun began at that moment.
We remained close even after starting elementary school, but when we reached the upper grades and that invisible wall between boys and girls started forming, Chifumi-kun stopped talking to me as much. In middle school, no matter how much I tried to talk to him, he would avoid me, and by high school we'd become completely distant.
Even though he was always nearby, he felt so far away. It made me sad, lonely, and frustrated. I thought about so many things, but my feelings for Chifumi-kun never changed. So I vowed in my heart to confess these feelings before graduation.
My fate changed dramatically on June 25th this year, when a man came to our house. He was a man in his 50s, neatly dressed. He came alone, but had left a black luxury car at the entrance with some tough-looking men in suits waiting. The moment he saw me in the living room, he declared:
"Nanami, I'm your father. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything for you until now. From now on, I'll take care of everything for you and your mother, so don't worry."
As I stood confused by this sudden revelation, Mama stepped protectively in front of me and said:
"We don't need your help. I don't know how you found us, but please stay out of our lives."
I was surprised to see usually gentle Mama speaking with anger and firm rejection, but it showed there must have been serious history between them.
"You haven't changed at all, Kazumi. After you disappeared while pregnant, I searched everywhere for you both."
"At that time, I cut all ties with you. How dare you call yourself a father now after saying such terrible things back then!"
"I have my position to consider. And a congressman having an illegitimate child would be perfect fodder for the media. If that happens, you're the one who'll get hurt."
"Stop it!! Don't talk about such things in front of our daughter!!"
I'd never seen Mama so angry before. I didn't understand what had happened, but maybe this man had told Mama to get an abortion when she was pregnant. If so, no wonder Mama was furious.
"That's all in the past. Now I can protect you both. I was truly sorry about that time. Please give me a chance to make amends."
"How... how dare you... bring this up... now..."
"Mama!!"
Mama suddenly clutched her chest and collapsed. I immediately called an ambulance and accompanied her to the hospital with the man who claimed to be my father.
"Kazumi had an underlying condition, it seems."
"Mama has always had a weak heart and occasional attacks. It's because you made her angry that this happened..."
"I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention, but perhaps this was meant to be. —Nanami, what I said earlier was sincere. I'll take care of you and your mother. From now on, you'll need my help."
"Please stop. As Mama said, we don't need your help. Thank you for coming this far, but I'll take care of Mama, so please leave."
"Stubborn, just like Kazumi. But Nanami, your mother needs serious surgery, doesn't she? It seems she's been managing with medication until now, but she's long past her limit. What exactly do you plan to do?"
"After I graduate high school, I'll work. Then Mama can focus on treatment."
"The treatment requires surgery and long hospitalization. A high school graduate's salary won't cover those costs. Stop being stubborn and face reality."
I hadn't known Mama's condition was that bad. She never showed any signs in front of me. After Obaa-chan passed away, she took on more part-time jobs... She must have been pushing herself too hard. To think she'd become this worn out...
Before I knew it, large tears were streaming down my face. Tears mixing sadness and terror at the thought of Mama dying, frustration at not noticing her condition, and anger at my own helplessness. As I desperately tried to suppress my sobs, the man who called himself my father quietly offered me a handkerchief.
"You don't have to bear everything alone. Leave the rest to me. There's a good hospital in my electoral district. In Kochi Prefecture, there's a renowned heart specialist."
I had no choice but to accept his offer. It seemed the only way to save Mama.
The next day, when Mama regained consciousness, he explained the seriousness of her condition and persuaded her to transfer to Kochi. At first Mama resisted, but thinking of my future, she reluctantly agreed.
The transfer to Kochi was scheduled for June 30th. As I prepared to accompany her, he suddenly told me:
"Nanami, after we return from Kochi, you're going abroad to study. There's a good school in Australia. From October, you'll spend a year there broadening your horizons. We'll handle the paperwork, so be ready. And don't tell anyone about studying abroad."
"That's too much! I'm about to graduate, and you won't even let me say goodbye..."
"Nanami, this might be hard for you to understand, but I have many enemies. The media might have caught wind of you. Everything must be handled in absolute secrecy. It will be hard, but endure it for your mother's sake."
With Mama effectively held hostage, I had no choice. He told me this on June 28th. I had just one day left. And that day was Chifumi-kun's birthday. Having made up my mind, I went to his house after school.
Mama's surgery went well. Her postoperative recovery was smooth, and she would be discharged soon. After discharge, she would recuperate at a facility in Kochi for a while.
On August 3rd, when I returned to Tokyo, I stayed at my father's secondary residence in Inagi City. My phone was disconnected, my SNS accounts deleted, my internet provider contract canceled—all my connections to the outside world were severed. No phone, no internet, no way to contact Chifumi-kun or my friends. Kiyoko-san, the helper, always accompanied me when I went out, leaving me no freedom. Days of depression continued. Some time after this life began, I noticed changes in myself.
"Pregnant!? Nanami, when did you...?"
I hadn't had my period for over two months. At first I thought it was due to the environmental changes, but I was wrong. I was carrying Chifumi-kun's child.
That morning, I felt sick and threw up all my breakfast. Later, taken to the hospital by Kiyoko-san, I learned I was pregnant. Of course, the news immediately reached my father.
"I never thought you were that kind of girl... Who's the father?"
"I won't tell. Never."
"...Fine. I'll contact an obstetrician I know. If you're going to terminate, sooner is better."
Seeing his cold profile as he spoke, I felt my spine freeze.
"Terminate? What do you mean?"
"An abortion, of course."
His words nearly made me faint. And I finally understood why Mama had rejected him so completely. I deeply regretted entrusting our fates to such a man.
"No. You said the same thing to Mama, didn't you? Like her, I absolutely refuse."
As I spoke, I grabbed a nearby pencil and pressed it to my throat.
"If you force me to abort, I'll die right here! I'd rather die than kill this child! I've already lost my school and all my friends because of you! Don't take anything more from me!!"
I meant it. I was truly prepared to die. Perhaps sensing my resolve, he faltered slightly.
"O-okay, I won't force you. So stop this foolishness."
"If anything happens to this child, I'll stop living. On this, I will never compromise!"
I had no other choice. I was negotiating with my own life. I didn't know what he was thinking, but he hadn't drawn us close out of affection. Probably he wanted to use me for something. Either way, it was because I had some value to him that he'd taken such extreme measures.
My assessment proved correct. After this incident, he stopped pressuring me about abortion. Of course, the study abroad plan was canceled, and I was confined to a villa in Hayama.