"I woke up on the ground. Sand was everywhere except beneath me, where the cold stone sent shivers through my body."
With all those cake evenings, I decided to move the small garden table next to the bench left of the fountain. Yona was sitting there, eating silently part of the second piece he brought me today. I may be a cake enjoyer, but two pieces?? Come on, Yona, I want to be able to sit on the chair without looking like a stuffed can! Ah, a little paradox over here. This food doesn't do anything to me. I am not human.
"I didn't know where I was or how I ended up there. I vaguely remembered two men lifting me off the ground, but nothing more. The next thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a large room with white walls. I was lying in the middle of a wide double bed and a single figure stood beside it. It was looking at me, a small child, expressionless and rigid. Its dark brown hair was covering its eyes, I can't recall their color even after all those years. It was the current emperor, the kid. "
"What was uncle Erzion back then?"
"Has your mom told you anything about when they were younger?"
"No."
"Well... From what I remember, both of them were not getting along with each other. They were fighting a lot and your mom was always trying to make your grandparents punish him, so both of them were fighting over that as well. They loved your uncle, you know. He was supposed to be the next king, so the late queen was never too rough on him, but his father wanted him to become a true man. Once, he locked Erzion in the dungeon for a month without food, only water, because your uncle had laughed how some kids from his school couldn't afford better clothes."
"How did uncle Erzion survived that!?" Yona exclaimed in surprise.
"Well... He didn't. I got him out in around a week, when he couldn't take it any longer than that."
"So you saved him!"
"Yes, and no. The late king, Gods it is not good to speak for deceased people, but he was both too harsh and too fair. I was summoned to take care of his son, he told me once. To bring light to his mind, help him rule fairly and achieve great victories. So yes, I got him out. Erzion was always neutral when it came to me, but after that moment, he started taking care for me the way I did in th cell."
The fountain in front of us murmured steadily, like a patient listener to my memories. Yona shifted on the bench, the creak of wood sounding loud in the quiet.
"The king… he rewarded me for doing my job, for taking care of his son. But afterwards, he beat Erzion badly—hard and without mercy—just because he had accepted help instead of finding a way out on his own, like a 'true ruler.' It was kind of contradictory, you know? He wanted Erzion to rely on me, and then he did this. So I never actually understood the king."
For a moment, neither of us spoke. The air seemed heavier, pressing gently on my shoulders. A moth circled the lantern above the table, its soft wings tapping against the glass. I remembered Erza lying on the ground, his body covered in deep wounds, his clothes soaked in blood. The memory was sharp, clear as if it had happened yesteday.
"That's when the late queen started hating me as well. She blamed me for her son getting beaten so badly he couldn't walk straight for days. But the young boy never pointed a finger at me, he may not be the most moral person, but he never did anything too serious to offend me or my body."
"Will you ever marry to uncle Erzion?"
"Marry??" Did you hear what this kid just asked me?? "I would never marry him! I am trying to get back to my old self, not marrying him?!"
"But I once heard mom telling uncle to quit teasing you and just marry you already!"
"She said what??" I almost choke on my own breath, staring down at the kid. The child blinks up at me innocently, swinging its legs as if it haven't just detonated a verbal bomb.
"I mean…" Yona shrug, "she said it after you and uncle were arguing again on dinner. Mama said, 'Why don't you two just get married and get it over with?'"
I felt a hot wave rush through my whole body, like every nerve had suddenly been set alight. Miriam?! Miriam had said that?! I never would've expected her to make such a tasteless joke, especially in front of her own son!
"She really said that." I asked, though it came out more like a rasp than an actual question.
He nodded, eyes wide and sincere. "Yeah. She said, 'Stop teasing her and just get married already.' And then uncle Erzion laughed! " Okay, but I have to admit Yona does a really good job imitating his mom's intonation.
"That..." I lower my hand and point a finger at the kid, "...was a joke. A bad one. And I am a God! He is a mere mortal and, in addition, someone I can't stand for even a minute!"
"I understand..."
"Sadly it is not that easy to get back to my old self... You see, I tried destroying this body, when your grandfather was killed. But it didn't work, I was stuck here, screaming in agony because my soul was somehow connected to this human thing and yeah- I am stuck."
I don't want Yona to know what happened that night. I won't tell him, I am not that dense to tell this to a little kid. But maybe I will tell you later, when I feel you closer and you have listened my story long enough to understand and accept what happened back then.
Yona tilted his head a little, curiosity flickering across his face. In the warm light from the lanterns, I can see how much he resembles her. His auburn hair mirrored Miriam's, but his wide, bright green eyes were clearly his father's legacy.
"You don't look like a god," he says after a moment, not mocking, just stating it the way children do, honest, unfiltered.
"Yeah," I murmur, looking away. "I don't feel like one either."
Yona's fingers were tracing invisible patterns on the table, like he was building up the courage to ask another question.
"Is that why you're always so angry?" he finally whispered. "Because you're stuck?"
I glance at him sharply, but there was no judgment in his eyes. Just that same soft, unshakable curiosity. "Something like that," I answered. "Gods don't like feeling restricted, feeling powerless."
"But uncle is here beside you! You have the strongest empire behind your back."
Yona may be just a kid, but he listens. He always does. He consumes every information about me that I tell him, every piece of my story, with interest. I reached out and ruffle his hair gently, my palm rested for a moment on the crown of his head, feeling the warmth of him.
"Go to bed now, Yona. We will continue tomorrow."
***
Morning. Three days later. Do I even need to say where I am at the moment?
"You wake up so early, I can't make it on time to even come talk to you!"
"Is this why you are my personal alarm clock?"
"Maybe."
"Alright."
Since I don't sleep, getting to Alet's room early was easy. The tricky part was timing it before he leaves for morning training.
"How are the palace guards?"
"There aren't that many, but they are good warriors." he said while fixing his bedsheets.
"The emperor is capable of defending himself. Most of the troops have been reassigned to the army sectors."
"Got it."
I watched him carefully as he adjusted the sheets, his movements precise and almost mechanical.
"You know, we have maids who take care of stuff like that?"
"I prefer keep the place I sleep tidy by myself."
He stood, stretching lightly, and walked towards the bathroom with his usual confident stride, the morning light catching the light grey highlights on his horns. Halfway there, he paused, a frown flickering across his face. His hand reached for the towel rack but froze midair. Then he started looking around the room, eyes scanning every corner, every hook and drawer. His usual composure faltered slightly as he muttered under his breath, "Where did I put the bath towel…"
I picked up the white cloth from the chair beside me and stepped closer to hand it to him.
"You've got time before training," I said, breaking the silence. "Want to spar a bit? Warm up?"
Alet shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "You and sparing?"
I raised an eyebrow, trying not to show how amused I was. "Yes, or you think a woman like me can't defen herself from a person like you?"
He shrugged, eyes glinting with that bright deep shine. "How old are you?" He asked suddenly.
I let out a short laugh, shaking my head. "How dare you ask a lady about her age!"
Alet smirked and tossed the towel over his shoulder. He headed towards the bathroom, leaving me to watch the familiar rhythm of his morning routine. He hadn't asked me to leave this time. Maybe he doesn't mind me staying in the room after all. Probably he stopped caring about it.
Before he could turn on the shower, I decided to answer, "I remember only the last ten years. Nothing before that."
Just before the water started, I heard him say softly, "Likewise."
The sound of running water filled the room for a few minutes, and I found myself watching the steam curl along the edges of the bathroom door. When it finally stopped, the door creaked open and Alet stepped out, droplets glinting along his skin and black hair plastered slightly to his forehead. He had wrapped the towel around his waist, his usual calm composure slowly returning as he shook the last drops from his long hair.
"Is it hard to shower with the horns? How do you even clean them?"
He glanced towards me, an almost mischievous glint in his bright amber almost yellow eyes. "Did Yona enjoy the cake last evening?" he asked with a casual voice.
I smiled softly, remembering the boy's delighted expression. "He did. But he got sick, so we haven't had any of our cake nights for the past few days."
"Sorry to hear that," he said, stretching slightly. "I wash my horns with soap the same way I do my body, using a sponge. And yes… it can be hard sometimes."
I giggled. "You mean… it's hard when you are showering?"
"Well… if my hair gets tangled in the sponge, I—" He froze mid-sentence, realization dawning a moment too late. "Alright, that's enough, get out!"
"Forget it. " Towel draped over his shoulders, he rubbed at his hair, eyes locked on me with a chilling intensity that made me shiver despite myself.
I shook my head, smirking despite myself. "Oh, I think I can handle it."
"Get out." His voice was flat.
"But... but... How hard is it?"
His jaw ticked. "If you weren't a woman, I would punch you."
I grinned. "Don't worry. If I weren't a woman, I wouldn't be asking." I stepped towards the door, hand on the handle, then paused and glanced back over my shoulder. "See you tomorrow morning. I won't be able to bother you tonight since I will be having dinner with the royal family."
He let out a low, exaggerated sigh, leaning back slightly against the wall, his towel slipping just enough to reveal a line of damp skin. "Ohh, how unfortunate," he said.
I chuckled softly, smoothing my plain white skirt as I turned fully to leave. "Yeah. Take care, and have fun at the training," I called over my shoulder, letting my tone carry a hint of teasing.
"Yes, ma'am."
But teasing him felt different from teasing with Erzion. With Erzion, every word he throws at me leaves me with a nauseating mix of anger, disgust and the uncontrollable urge to kick him right between the legs. Anyways, it was time for the drawing session with Erzion...