[Later that Day – Raymond's Car]
Rosa sat in the passenger seat with her nose brace in place, arms crossed, trying not to look impressed as the black SUV rolled through a gated driveway the size of a runway.
The massive wrought iron gates swung open automatically. Beyond them stretched a gravel road flanked by endless green fields. Horses ran freely, manes whipping in the wind like shampoo commercials. There was even a stone fountain ahead that looked like it belonged in front of a European palace.
Rosa blinked. "So… you live in Narnia?"c
Ray kept his eyes on the road. "One of my houses."
She looked at him sideways. "One of?"
"Three in NY."
Her jaw dropped a little before she recovered. "Cool. Totally normal number of houses."
They passed a large stable where glossy brown horses turned their heads to watch the car. Rosa pointed. "Those are… yours?"
"Yes."
"Of course they're yours," she muttered. "Why wouldn't my mysterious super-soldier boyfriend also be a horse lord?"
They finally rolled to a stop in front of a sprawling stone mansion that could fit her entire apartment building inside it. Before Rosa could even reach for the handle, a uniformed maid appeared, opened her door, and smiled politely.
Rosa leaned toward Ray and whispered, "You got a maid."
"My mom has a maid," Ray corrected. "And gardeners, groundskeepers, and people for the horses."
Rosa's head whipped toward him. "Mom? You're taking me to your mother?"
"Yes."
"You're taking me to your mother without warning? Wait! Is it one of those types of meetings? Like official intro?"
He shrugged. "When I'm out on duty, she can take care of you. Also, you'll get to ride a horse. And I have a motorcycle collection in the garage. You can ride those too."
Rosa froze in her seat. "Hold up. You're bribing me with horsepower to meet your mom?"
"Yes."
"…It's working."
They got out, and Rosa straightened her jacket like she was going into an interrogation. As they walked toward the front entrance, she muttered under her breath, "Great. First impressions. Broken nose, bruises, possibly still high. Perfect. Nothing to worry about other than my bashed-up face."
Ray glanced at her. "She'll like you."
"You don't know that. What if she hates me? What if she's one of those moms who has a sword collection and asks me to spar for your hand in marriage?"
"She doesn't have a sword collection," Ray said.
"…Does she have an axe?"
"Yes."
Rosa smirked faintly. "Okay. I like her already."
They stepped inside, the marble foyer echoing their footsteps. A massive chandelier hung overhead, and an oil painting of a stern-looking woman with the same sharp jawline as Ray watched over the room.
Rosa glanced at the portrait, then at Ray. "Is that her?"
"Nope. That's grandma."
"She looks like she could order an airstrike."
From deeper in the house, a woman's voice called out, "Raymond, is that you?"
Rosa inhaled sharply. "Okay. Showtime. Do not embarrass yourself. Do not tell her you keep an axe under your mattress. Do not—"
Ray's mother appeared in the doorway, elegant in a tailored dress, eyes sharp and assessing. Long blonde hair and hazel irises. She smiled faintly. "So, you're the detective who stole my son."
Rosa straightened and tried to match her energy. "Yes, ma'am. And I also plan to steal his fries forever."
There was a pause.
Then Ray's mother's lips curved into the faintest smirk. "Good. He needs someone who isn't afraid to take what she wants." She walked close to Rosa and softly touched her hand. "Come, I'll show you your room."
"Mom," Ray tried to interfere. "I can..." But before he could finish...
"You, young man," She pointed her finger at him with a stern expression and said, "Need to get to the market and buy some groceries, and then clean the roof and fix my car."
Ray opened his mouth. "Mom, I just got back from—"
She gave him the look. The same one that could stop a charging bull and make Navy SEALs question their life choices.
"Groceries," she repeated. "Roof. Car."
Ray stood there for two seconds like he was weighing the possibility of surviving an argument. Then he sighed, "Yes, Mom."
He glanced at Rosa like a man walking toward the gallows. She smirked at him and mouthed, "Have fun." He sighed, turned on his heel, and walked out.
Rosa leaned toward her. "You just made a special ops guy retreat without a fight."
His mom's smirk returned. "I have been doing it since he was twelve."
The moment Ray's SUV rolled down the driveway, her face softened. She gestured for Rosa to follow, the sound of her heels sharp against the marble floor. "Come, dear. Let's get you settled."
The butler trailed them, carrying Rosa's two suitcases like they weighed nothing.
They turned down a long hallway lined with more oil paintings of ancestors who all looked like they'd conquered small countries. At the end, she opened a set of double doors and stepped aside.
Rosa froze in the doorway. "This… is a room? Not like… an entire Airbnb listing?"
It was huge. The kind of huge that made her want to yell just to hear the echo. A massive bed sat in the center, so wide it looked like it could host a United Nations meeting. The walls were warm cream, and a wall of windows looked out over a sparkling lake, the surface shimmering in the afternoon sun. A gentle breeze drifted in, carrying the smell of grass and water.
Rosa pointed. "That bed is big enough for three people, two dogs, and a motorcycle."
Ray's mom said casually, "A Young couple needs a big bed."
The butler set the suitcases neatly by the wardrobe and disappeared without a sound.
Rosa walked toward the window and squinted at the view. "You can see the lake. There are… ducks. Fancy ducks."
"Swans," she corrected.
"Of course they're swans," Rosa muttered. "Everything in this house is either a horse or royalty."
Ray's mom sat gracefully on the edge of the bed. "I understand you work in law enforcement."
"Yeah." Rosa folded her arms. "And I understand you run this entire estate like a small, mildly intimidating country."
Her lips curved again, just slightly. "Perhaps we will get along after all."
Rosa tilted her head. "Do I need to pass a test? Sword fight? Shoot something? Wrestle one of the swans?"
"Not today," she said with a small laugh. "Today you rest. Tomorrow, perhaps, we will see about the swans."
Rosa actually grinned. "I think I'm gonna like it here."
...
A few hours later, Rosa had successfully unpacked and made herself feel at least pretend comfortable in the palace-sized room. She stood in the doorway of the walk-in closet, hands on her hips, staring at it like it was some kind of mythical creature.
She had seen closets like this on TV before, usually in shows about rich people whose biggest problem was deciding which diamond necklace to wear to brunch. But standing in one for the first time felt… surreal.
There were shelves taller than her stacked with neatly folded towels that looked too perfect to ever be used. Rows of empty hangers awaited her jackets like they were on military parade. There was even a section with tiny cubby holes for shoes, which made her sneakers look like they had accidentally wandered into a luxury hotel for footwear.
She hung up her leather jacket in the center of the rack just to see how it looked in there. It was the only black thing in a closet full of cream and beige. It looked like it was plotting a takeover.
After putting her clothes in their places, she slid her small makeup kit onto the vanity in the corner. Her meds went next to the bedside table because, in her words, "the good stuff stays within arm's reach."
When everything was done, she turned, took in the sight of the room one more time, and muttered to herself, "Yep. Still way too big. I'm going to lose a shoe in here and never find it again."
She walked over to the bed and flopped onto it like a body hitting a stunt mat. The mattress practically swallowed her whole. She let out a low groan that was part exhaustion, part admiration for how stupidly soft it was.
"This bed is dangerous," she said aloud to no one. "I could fall asleep for three days and wake up thinking it's still Tuesday."
Rosa sat on the bed, pulled out her phone, and opened her chat with Amy.
Rosa: I'm at Ray's mom's house. Need help.
Amy: Oh my god, are you meeting her right now?
Rosa: Already met her. She has swans.
Amy: Swans are good. Swans are elegance. Swans are… Wait, why are you texting me and not talking to her?
Rosa: Because I am hiding in a bed that could fit an entire hockey team. How do I impress a super-rich mom who probably knows how to kill me with a dinner fork?
Three dots appeared. Then stopped. Then appeared again.
Amy: I'm coming up with a list. Hold on.
Back to the bullpen at the Nine-Nine. Amy was at her desk, already Googling "how to impress your boyfriend's mother" like she was cramming for a final. Jake, Boyle, and Gina hovered behind her like vultures circling roadkill.
Jake leaned over her shoulder. "Ooo, this is exciting. We're giving Rosa dating advice. This is like finding out Batman is on Tinder."
Gina crossed her arms. "Pfft. Rosa doesn't need advice. She just needs to remember who really deserves Ray." She gave herself a slow hair flip. "Me."
Amy didn't look up. "Gina, you've been in love with your phone since 2013."
"Exactly. Ray's a step down. But he's still mine. And I'll have him one day. Gina Linetti never loses."
Boyle's eyes went wide as he read Amy's search results. He mumbled, "Tip number one: Be polite. Tip number two: Compliment her home. Tip number three: Offer to help with chores. Rosa is doomed."
Amy ignored him and started typing back to Rosa.
Amy: Just be yourself but the slightly less terrifying version. Compliment something specific. Smile. Make conversation about her interests.
Rosa: She has an axe.
Amy: Okay perfect. You two have something in common. Ask her about the axe.
Jake suddenly yelled, "No! Facetime her. We need visuals."
Amy groaned but hit video call.
Rosa answered, the screen tilting wildly before it steadied. Behind her was the massive bed.
Jake's jaw dropped. "Are you staying in a hotel for billionaires?"
Rosa walked to the window and flipped the camera. Outside, the lake sparkled and two swans glided across like they were in a perfume commercial.
Boyle clutched his chest. "This is the most romantic thing I've ever seen."
Gina squinted at the swans. "I could make those swans famous on Instagram."
Then Rosa turned the phone toward the fields where horses galloped in slow motion.
Amy blinked. "Are those… free-range horses?"
"Yes," Rosa said flatly. "They come with the property like pigeons but more expensive."
The room behind Amy suddenly darkened. A shadow loomed. Terry had arrived, holding a mug of green tea.
"What's going on?"
Amy pointed at the phone. "Rosa's meeting Ray's mom for the first time. We're helping her not ruin it."
Terry took the phone. "Rosa, listen to me. You have one job. Be respectful. Be confident. And find one thing you can do to help her today. Doesn't matter if it's carrying groceries or helping with the horses. Mothers love people who contribute."
Rosa thought for a second. "So… basically treat her like Captain Holt but with better hair?"
Terry nodded. "Exactly."
Jake whispered to Boyle, "I bet she's gonna adopt Rosa by the end of the week."
"That would be bad. Won't that make Ray and Rosa... brother and sister?" Boyle said with an eyebrow raised.
"Yep! That sounds really bad," Jake grinned awkwardly as everyone looked at him and gave him that disgusted look.
"Shut it! Don't confuse her," Terry chimed in.
Rosa smirked. "Thanks, Terry. You're the only one here who's not insane."
Gina muttered, "That's debatable."
Terry handed the phone back to Amy and walked away, muttering something about getting more yogurt before the madness spread.
Amy looked at Rosa. "Okay. You've got this. Be cool and helpful. Don't fight the swans. They don't always like humans trespassing in their territories."
"No promises and thanks. I'll call you at night if I survive," Rosa said, and hung up.
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[25 advance chs] [No double billing.]
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